Silly Army – A Load Of Old Planks

K and Steph prepare to give Pete a sound planking.

After being rained off the previous week, last Sunday The Silly Army were back in King’s Park with a vengeance, and had some new games to try to boot.

The Bournemouth sports club for adults are organising the games for Party on the Pier on Boscombe Pier on March 12th, and Pete, Dave and K have been busy devising and building games for the last couple of months, ably assisted by Pat, Robert and Alan.

So last Sunday the Silly Army trailer rolled up not just with the standard goals, balls and sticks, but also with barrels and planks not seen since the great raft non-victory of August 2010.

While Dave gets his thrills plank standing, we all know Helen is thinking those three little letters: W T F?

These are part of the Bridging The Gap challenge, getting from one piece of ground to the other without touching feet down, using only the barrels and planks. Cue much arguing as the Sillies attempted to work out the best way to complete the challenge. After much deliberation, it was unanimously decided that Dave was best at standing on planks.

We also attempted the Spacehopper Steeplechase, with newly constructed jumps. Here we mourned the sad loss of a much prized hopper, Feck Off, who had been suffering from a slow puncture (bravely borne) for some time now, and eventually blew up when Steph sat on him. Despite this mishap, Steph soon proved that she and Pete are still the best bouncers in the Silly Army.

Feck Off lived up to his name when he blew up last Sunday. RIP.

We started games proper with that traditional opener, Big Tennis, before moving on to Hockey. As ever this was a long game with much midfield play and occasional goalmouth scrambling. We eventually decided to play to three, and the red team chipped home the winner. While the rest of the club was playing jolly hockey sticks, Rich was busy building a rocket sculpture from the barrels and planks – we expect his Turner Prize is in the post.

Sticky Ball action, where the greens took on the red/blues and won.

After a spot of Dodgeball we played Sticky Ball, a lack of red bibs meaning the greens took on the blue and reds. The greens won the first game, the blue/reds made a comeback in the second, but it was the greens who were more co-ordinated to take the match.

Another new game followed, a strange idea of Pete’s that followed the donation of several sets of bucket stilts from Inspieration. Stilt Football is easier said than done, and most of the Sillies spent most of the time trying to keep their feet on. Even the natural footballers Paul and Greg were struggling with this game and after we have eventually scored one goal each, a draw was agreed.

"OK, so there's a ball over there - now how the heck do we get to it?"

Next up was Impossiball, the game of large, cumbersome nets and soft balls that is incredibly difficult to score in. This was a game won by the reds, largely thanks to the skill of Alex (whom we believe is in the New Zealand Impossiball Olympics squad).

It was Alex who suggested the next game, too. It’s muddy, wet, cold and February, so of course the Silly Army jumped at the chance to get down on all fours and line up as if waiting some kind of gynaelogical procedure. The game was the Crab Race and the idea was to race on all fours across a small piece of ground. Ras and Alex seemed adept at this game, leaving the rest of the field far behind them.

The Silly Army welcomes you with open legs.

There was time for more Big Tennis, won by Helen’s team, before darkness fell and we had to pack up.

The Silly Army meet in King’s Park every Sunday at 1pm and play a range of games – you don’t need to be any good at sport to join us! We also meet on Wednesdays at the YMCA in Westover Road – come along and join us.

The Sunday sessions are free, Wednesday sessions cost £5 to cover hire of the hall.

Come to Silly Army and you can do this too...

Pictures by Chris and Ras.

Ice, eh? Ice, eh? Ice, eh? Skating around at Boxing Day games

An icy pitch and a shed that seemed to be emitting water caused consternation for the Silly Army’s K and Pete when they arrived to set up for Boxing Day games, as well as giving them the opportunity to stomp in icy puddles. A quick review of the pitch conditions led to the decision to slide everything left a bit on to greener grass, where it was slightly less treacherous to unload the Silly Army kit.

We were soon joined by Dave, who was nearly thwarted by the ice, but luckily Silly people bounce and he was unharmed.

Helen, Clarkson, Duncan and Paul soon joined for much merriment on a crispy pitch. Under the watchful eye of a slow moving helicopter, the games commenced.

Big Tennis was the order of the day, the ball freshly pumped and suitably dirty, it actually bounced better on the frozen ground.  Move of the day goes to Helen, K and Dave for the ‘Squealing Bundle’ formation, that somehow or another got the ball over the net.

There was a lack of wind in King’s Park (one can only assume it has Christmas off) so we played Silly Badminton. Move of that game has to go to Pete for hitting himself in the face – it had no impact on play or his ability to hit the shuttle cock, but self-flagelation is always entertaining to watch.

Next it was time for a roundaround and we played Passing Sticky Ball (in which every player has to touch the ball). Duncan’s expert marking was a boon to the blue team; everybody’s cack handed catching was a bonus to nobody. After an eternity, during which Pete got bored and wandered off to even out the sides, the blues eventually claimed victory, though Helen disputed this with the shake test, nobody listened to her on account of fearing the game would go on for ever.

To finish up we played Three Man Hockey (having lost Clarkson) and despite some deft moves from Paul for the reds, it was the yellows who emerged victorious, 10-9. Man of the match here has to be Pete, not just for a spectacular solo effort fighting his way through a sea of red players, but also for not being thwarted by an open goal – there’s a first time for everything!

The Silly Army will be playing in the YMCA hall this Wednesday, and back in the park next Sunday. Come, join us!

Own Goals, Hard Balls And A (Monkey) Toss Off At Silly Army

It was a cold, damp and slippery King’s Park that greeted The Silly Army on Sunday afternoon, but despite the slightly overcast conditions there was a good turn-out of players enduring enjoying the crisp conditions.

Big Tennis is one of the most popular Silly Army games.

We were slightly late setting up due to some members enjoying enduring a thrilling Saturday evening sorting through the accounts in preparation for grant applications. However, many hands do light work make and  – after a random outbreak of Volleyball that was quickly tempered by hard balls – we soon had a game of Big Tennis underway, won by Team Helen.

With rapidly increasing numbers we opted to play a runaround next and went for Hockey. Despite the vast majority of the strongest Hockey Players being on the red team, this was a close fought and long match, with play being in one end for some time before switching to the other. Pete and Paul showed off excellent goal keeping skills in the red end while K took her usual position in goal for the yellows.

Jolly hockey sticks. Picture by Aleksandra Dimitrova.

After the score had been locked at 2-2 for some time, and because of increasingly limited time due to shortening days, we decided next goal would win and a brave battle ensued. The match was eventually sealed with the reds taking victory, thanks to a lovely blooper of an own goal from yellow dynamo Nick.

Following a spot of Double Dodgeball in a strangely shaped circle, where even Giles’s flexibility couldn’t save him in the slippery conditions, we played Combi Ball.

Because two balls are better than one. Particularly when they're both purple, and one is sausage shaped. Picture by Aleksandra Dimitrova.

Pete, remembering being on the losing side with the embarrassing score of zero last time we played this game, was determined to save some face this week and opened up the scoring with a nicely kicked goal for the blues. The yellow team made much better use of the field, however, and were better at finding space to quickly take the lead.

This wasn’t good enough for yellow player Helen, however, who bemoaned the scoring of an easy one pointer when she wanted to go for big points, much to the amusement of her own team. The old adage ‘every little helps’ clearly wasn’t on her mind!

The blues did a very good job of catching up, but it was the yellow team who got a deserved victory thanks to some sharp shooting. At least Pete and the rest of the bluesers could trudge off without egg on their faces, however, as they had played well, though they did have mud on their trousers due to lots of falling over (a Silly Army art form unto itself).

Sticky Ball looked like being a bit of an embarrassing defeat when the yellows shot out of the stocks and instantly scored three to take the first game. However, the blues battled back in the second game and for a long time nobody seemed to be able to get a ball on the board despite good play from both teams. K eventually opened the scoring for the blues on second attempt, but it was the yellow team who won this game too.

Loopy Lobbing, the game of throwing circular discs at each other, was next and top marks must go to Tori for her ‘Throw all and be damned’ method – which worked rather well! Helen and Alex also showed great skill at this game.

Team captains Tori and Viv got to chose who they thought were the best tossers in The Silly Army. A difficult choice indeed! Picture by Steph Mills.

Viv requested a tea break, but sadly our great Treasurer has vetoed tea for the time being, so we moved on to Monkey Toss. Tori and Viv were crowned team captains and the cringe-producing team picking method was employed.

Both girls picked well and, despite some off tossing from some of our top tossers to begin with, though Tori’s team took the lead Viv’s team forced a draw. That meant only one thing: it was time for a Toss Off.

Picking the windy end of the park (obviously) five tossers from each team lined up to chuck their mustard monkeys. However, Helen’s toss went horribly wrong and the resulting score was 5-4 to Tori’s team.

Shock of the game still has to be K managing to outrun Giles.

There was just enough time for another game of Big Tennis, during which Pete abandoned his team to join ‘Pedal Car’ Alan and Richard in Bike Club. But the neglected team of Viv, Giles and K proved they didn’t need their esteemed leader after all and won the game.

Silly Army games will be taking place tomorrow (Wednesday) in the YMCA, Westover Road, from 7pm – come and join us, it’s warm and great exercise!

There will also be regular Silly Army Sunday Games in King’s Park from 1pm this Sunday. Come along and toss monkeys – you know it makes sense.

Rain fails to stop play at Silly Army

A miserable text was sent from the Silly Army’s chief miser to their own Mrs Doyle this morning – due to wet and windy conditions, there would be NO TEA at Silly Army!

There's no such thing as friendship in Loopy Lobbing!

It was indeed assumed there would be no play at the club due to the continual bucketing down of rain. But the Sillies are better than that; they know this is England and they won’t let a bit of wind and rain stop them from having a run around. The two thirds of the committee that hail from the Highlands of Scotland would describe this as ‘bikini weather’.

Although our great leader Dave made just a fleeting appearance, having to go home because he hadn’t done his homework, K and Pete were soon joined by Steph and newbie Matt and they braved the rain to play Big Tennis.

Helen arrived soon after, followed by Karl and a proper game could ensue, K, Pete and Helen winning two games to one.

The rain kept falling and we decided it was time for a run-around, so played three-aside hockey on a slightly less muddy part of the field. Richard abandoned watching the Grand Prix and came to join us and a close game was played – the reds shooting ahead in the first half only for the yellows to come back in the second, leaving the score teetring at 9-9.

Matt and Pete had a great partnership up front for the reds however to score the final, winning goal.

The Silly Army is big on recycling. The loops from Loopy Lobbing are taken from old, broken Sticky Ball pads.

After its popularity last week, we played Loopy Lobbing, Pete again learning the hard way there is no such thing as friends when it comes to throwing hoops at each other.

A quick biscuit break (just not the same without tea!) was followed by Dodgeball with a large, slimy ball. Karl’s flexibility continued to amaze; he, Matt and Steph were the best at surviving.

More giant tennis rounded an all too brief session off lightly, won by the combination of Pete, K, Steph and Matt two games to one.

The Silly Army will be playing out next Sunday from 1pm whatever the weather, and will be in the YMCA this Wednesday from 7pm for rather drier indoor games!

Chilly Army – Playing out until after dark

The Silly Army Flag - we sallute you (and Steph, who made you!) Picture: AD

The Silly Army beat reports of heavy rain and enjoyed another gloriously sunny, if rather chilly, day of games in King’s Park on November 7.

We started with Big Tennis, the lengthening grass in our little corner of the park adding further ambiguous bounces to the already unpredictable ball, and prompting the call from Matt for ‘a goat and a steam roller’. Unfortunately, nobody had remembered to pack either of these items, so a challenging game ensued. Strangely, the blinding sun in players’ eyes proved to be an advantage, as it was the team on the sunny side of the pitch that won both games. Steph’s team comfortably won the first game, while Dave’s enjoyed a similarly resounding victory in the second.

First up on the big pitch was Combi Ball, although we almost forgot to set up the side goals. The blue team were soon wishing that we had forgotten to play the game entirely as the most embarrassing defeat of Silly Army ensued. The yellows were all over the blues and won 20-0 thanks to some sharp shooting from Ras, Steph and Tori among others, and a particularly fine football goal from Dave. The blue team, meanwhile, were prompted by their leader Pete to try to get at least one point on the board – and promptly failed in that mission. Well done, yellow team, on earning your place in the Silly History Books.

Ras is one of the top scorers at Combi Ball. Picture: AD

Next up was Dodgeball, which rapidly evolved into Double Dodge despite lower numbers than in recent weeks. After that we played Hockey, which was well battled and evenly matched with a decent amount of play at both ends of the pitch. Dave’s idea of starting from the centre after a goal also meant there was more even play. In the end it was the yellows who won, but the game was close.

The committee have been thinking (shock, horror!) that it would be a good idea to try out a wider variety of games. So it was that Steph’s Teapot It was played. Two players are linked like a teapot – one the handle, one the spout, while a cat chases a mouse around the pitch. The mouse links on to a handle and the spout has to run off – sounds simple, but confused the whole of the Silly Army good and proper. Once we got the hang of it it was a great game, however, despite looking from a distance like some kind of messed up speed dating event…

Pete forgets the high stick rule in hockey. Picture: AD

After a brief tea stop, Sticky Ball came next and was a very long match – it seemed impossible for either team to score and it may be time to replace the sticky goals. Particular kudos must go to the blue team’s Rob and Pete, who were so busy trying to prove the goal at their end wasn’t sticky that they were still testing it as the yellows scored at their end! Also to K of the blues who realised too late it’s not easy to catch a ball with your shades in your hand.

Because of time and light constraints, and the fact the blue team once again failed miserably to score, we only played one game of Sticky Ball this week and the yellows won 3 balls to 0.

Another new game came next, or rather an old game resurrected. Loopy Lobbing proves how committed the Silly Army are to recycling, making use as it does of the old discs that surrounded sticky pads gone to that great Sticky Ball pitch in the sky.

Each player is armed with three discs and the objective is to knock out other players by lobbing discs at them, without getting hit yourself. The result was something of a quickfire massacre. Ras’s technique of mass lobbing worked rather well, while Pete learned the hard way that there are no friends in Loopy Lobbing after an ill-advised union with Dave resulted in his untimely demise.

Balls! Picture: AD

After that there was still enough light and energy to play a couple more games. We opted for Impossiball, and the blue team finally found there forte, scoring three goals without answer. The yellows got two back but the blues scored two more for a well deserved victory.

Monkey Toss was the last game of the day and was a true walkover as Pete’s team went on the offensive and scored victory in just three runs – clearly, these guys have been practising their tossing.

The Silly Army meets every Sunday in King’s Park from 1pm, and every Wednesday in the YMCA on Westover

Impossiball involves large, unwieldy nets and a flighty ball. Picture: KI

Road, Bournemouth, from 7pm. Come and join us!

Picture credits: AD – Aleksandra Dimitrova; KI – Kaye Inglis

The Silly Army October 24 and 31

The Silly Army has had a busy few weeks, hence the slight lack of blogging activity. Here’s a quick round-up of the last two Sunday games sessions in October.

Two great minds prepare for battle on the hockey pitch... Picture by AD

Glorious Autumnal sunshine has boosted turnout in the last two weeks of October as many people have been out enjoying being chilly and Silly in the sun-blessed King’s Park.

Sunday October 23 saw a record turnout of 29 players, sending ledger keeper Pete into overdrive with his charts and statistics (yes, he really does keep them). It’s great to see so many people out enjoying the sunshine and the silliness.

As usual we started proceedings with a game of Big Tennis as Sillies gathered, but rapidly increasing numbers meant it was quickly time to play a runaround. It was also excellent that so many new members and recent recruits turned up to play.

There's no more beautiful sight than a man and his monkey... Picture: AD

We began with Sticky Ball, the yellow team playing most fluidly and working best as a team to win the first two games.

Dodgeball followed before we moved on to hockey. Here the red team suffered a bit of a massacre, red goalie K not on the ball at all, letting five in in succession for the team to be soundly beaten.

Next we played Combi Ball, which was a much closer affair and a hard-fought battle, the yellow team eventually claiming victory despite a brave battle by the blues.

Confusion abounded for everybody next with Crumbs & Crows, the chasing game. Doozer the monkey, who had turned up hoping for some Monkey Chase, took part in the game, helping Raz with his running and Pete with calling. Perhaps Doozer had more of an idea of what was going on in the game, as most of the Sillies remained entirely confused throughout (and ran in the wrong direction!)

The reds concede a goal in hockey. Picture: AD

Tchouckball was up next after tea break and the yellow team again took victory, covering more of the pitch most efficiently while the blue team relied on just a couple of players.

Then it was time for Double Netball and here the teams were far more evenly matched, the yellow team only just snaring victory.

Monkey Toss was the last game proper of the game and was another close call, this time Pete’s team clinching the win.

Lisa makes a pass during Combi Ball. Picture: AD

As numbers began to dwindle, the final game of the day involved experimenting with large hoops Pete and Dave had made during the week, with an outline game design involving running through them dribbling (dribbling a ball, not just dribbling, although the old men of the club are rather good at that!) After realising that when a team got possession, as the yellows did, it was pretty much impossible to get the ball back from them, the confused blue team decided this was a game in need of more work!

October 31 was another sunny Sunday and after Big Tennis we played Hockey. This was a very long and very evenly matched game: with the scores at 4-4 it was the red team who managed to shoot that all important point to win the match.

A battle ensues as the yellow team defend against the blues.

Sticky Ball followed Double Dodge and was similarly drawn out and even, with both teams finding it very difficult to score despite some good moves. The yellow team won the first match and the blues the second, at which point we decided it was time to opt for a draw – a very unusual occurrence in Silly Army!

Next up was netball and here the yellow team excelled to win comfortably. New players Mike and Paul got thoroughly stuck in to the game and the girls on the yellow team played well together to clinch victory.

After tea we tried Giant Football (football with the dodgeball) which is very difficult to control, particularly in the ubiquitous King’s Park wind, leading to the ball blowing all over the pitch. In the end this became a ‘first goal wins’ game, the yellow team scoring.

A Monkey Toss Action Shot. Now that's not something you see every day... Picture: AD

Monkey Toss was the final game of the day, complete with a humiliating school style team picking. Pete proved that not only is he a top tosser, he can spot a tosser at ten paces as he chose the winning side, comfortably beating Dave’s troop.

Top tosser. Picture: AD

The Silly Army meets in King’s Park every Sunday from 1pm and plays such silly games as these. Come along and join us!

More Silly Army pictures from October 24 and 31:

Alex the poser defends the yellow goal. Picture: AD

Games on Hallowe'en can have interesting results... Picture: SM

Dodgy geezers never break their pose, no matter what happens. Picture: SM

We welcomed a new member, Paul, and could tell he would fit in straight away. Pic: SM

Sam is confident of victory. Picture: SM

Picture Credits: AD – Aleksandra Dimitrova; SM – Steph Mills

Another sunny Sunday Silly session!

The Silly Army last Sunday.

Despite being described by some nay-sayers at Bournemouth Council as an “underused resource”, King’s Park was again busy on Sunday afternoon as footballers, cyclists, dog walkers, families and runners made the best of the gloriously crisp, sunny day to enjoy the benefits of spending time in green space.

Big Tennis - by far the best way to start a Sunday afternoon in King's Park.

In their new spot in the far corner, The Silly Army were of course out in force, and it was super to see lots of new players as well as many familiar faces. Welcome, Alex, Nick, Matt, Sue and Visiting John – we hope you’ll come and play with us some more!

As has become a tradition with Silly Army, we started our park games session with a game of Big Tennis. The new players all took to this game surprisingly well, quickly showing some of the old hands how it should be done. Due to various late night games, drinking sessions and emergency 1am peppermint tea deliveries, some of the old guard were a little off the ball, and the ball itself was quite frequently off the court as we whacked it here, there and everywhere. However, some good rallies were eventually had, and Karen’s team were the most alert to claim a deserved victory.

Dave proves he has the legs for a netball skirt.

First up on the big pitch was Double Netball, a recently invented game with two very high, very small netball hoops in which you have to toss your balls.

This is a fast game that soon had everybody warmed up in the chilly air. This is a game where the girls tend to excel – Helen in particular an excellent shooter – but the boys proved they were just as comfortable in netball skirts (well, according to what we’ve heard about some of them…) and a tight, frantic game ensued, eventually won by the blue team.

While Dave organised a game of dodgeball, Mrs Doyle’s tea shop opened early – but not for the usual reason of a well-earned tea break. Oh no, the next game was one that hadn’t been played for a while and was new to many of the more recent Silly Army members.

English Football is truly the Beautiful Game. It’s played the way football was intended to be played – with a cup of tea, a saucer and a strategically placed biscuit. The object of the game is to score standard football goals, without spilling your tea or getting a soggy biscuit. Cue lots of mincing as players attempt to keep up with the ball without losing any of the precious brown stuff.

Viv was spectacularly fouled as the ball knocked her cup and saucer clean out of her hand, while Pete played by the book and gained some advantages – drinking his tea, getting a refill and eating not just his own but other team members’ biscuits.

English Football also requires that each player carries an Excuse Me card, which can be presented once to an opposition player, who must oblige by stepping aside. However, not many of the Sillies played this card to their advantage, too focused on keeping their saucers clean. Despite having tea junkies Pete and K on their team, the blue team lost out to the yellows.

There's something wrong with this football game... That's right, everyone needs a nice cup of tea!

Tea was not required for an evenly matched game of hockey, where K’s late night peppermint antics saw her being not particularly on form in the yellow goal. Both the red and yellow strike forces were on good form, though, and K eventually woke up enough to defend in golden goal time by kneeling on the ball, not in the slightest intimidated by Pete’s (joking?!) threat to put leg and ball in the goal. The yellow team struck gold soon after and won the game.

Sticky Ball came next and was again quite evenly matched. The yellows got off to a great start but it was the blues who played better and won the game.

After tea break proper, we played Tchoukball and here the yellow team started off playing far better. Steph, Karen and Paul are among the best players at this game and all were on target. The blues soon picked things up and began to catch up, but this was another yellow victory.

Despite being pursued by two giant shadows, Helen is not distracted during Impossiball.

Next up was another game we hadn’t played for a while, Impossiball. This is a lacrosse style game with home-made racquets that make the transition of the ball somewhat difficult to control. New girl Alex adopted a particularly entertaining method of moving the ball – dragging it behind her along the ground inside the racquet. This proved a rather effective target, and she proved a sharp shooter – scoring an excellent through the hoop goal (worth two points). Yellows however scored the winning goal.

There was time for some tossing with a tense Monkey Toss match, blessedly free of wind this week, which meant the flying monkeys flew better. This was another very close game and it all came down to the last toss. K proved that tossing monkeys is one of her few sporting talents, thus crowning Pete’s team Top Tossers and negating the need for a toss off.

Impossiball by name...

More big tennis was played to round the day off and at 6.30pm it was time to trundle home before it got dark.

On Wednesday a selection of Sillies enjoyed more indoor games at the YMCA. A newly designed missile game was followed by Unreal Tennis, involving the ball bouncing off the walls (and also involving quite a lot of ducking as the ball moves rather fast).

We also played Bouncing Volleyball, and Netball where the green team won comfortably – Helen proving once again what an excellent shot she is. Pete meanwhile proved his girlie credentials by tying with Tori as the best shooter for the red team.

The Silly Army hope a giant ice rink doesn't land on their heads.

The Silly Army will be meeting in King’s Park again from 1pm this Sunday. We will be playing Randomiser, Big Tennis, Combi Ball, Cladwhacking, Hockey, Budge, Monkey Toss and other games – come along and join us.

Apologies for the lack of blog activity last week. The Silly Army committee has been extremely hard at work organising paperwork, fighting the ice rink plans and planning a series of activities to ensure winter is far from boring – including The Silly Army Christmas Party (yay!). Details will follow in Dave’s mailout shortly.

Alex provided a great news write-up of his first experience of Wednesday games. Read it here.

 

 

 

Pete and Dave look quite the happy newlyweds in this shot, and all their friends look happy for them. All except Alan, who is clearly coveting Karen's cup of tea.

Rain fails to stop play at Silly Army

Despite the torrential downpour at noon on Sunday, The Silly Army carried on regardless for their weekly games session in King’s Park. It takes more than a spot of rain to stop the Sillies, and noble trooper Silly Dave even dragged himself from his sick bed to join in the games, along with the formalities of the Silly Army EGM to reorganise the committee (a crueler person might say the committee was never very organised in the first place!)

Though initially it was just Dave and K in the park contemplating the rain clouds, they were soon joined by Pete and the trailler of toys – always useful when having a games session. Steph was next to brave the weather and we set about setting up the pitches.

Many had been in doubt that games would run because of the weather, but Pete mocked their lack of faith that the gods would shine the sun on the Silly Army, and rightly so as no sooner had we set the pitches up the sun came out.

The ground was somewhat sodden, and someone or another had decided to set up the volleyball net next to a large puddle of mud, which proved a formidable challenge for any players on that side of the net as they tried to avoid falling in it. Luckily, they all succeeded, although the ball was not so fortunate and was soon a truly sticky ball.

Greg proved something of a one-man machine at Big Tennis, throwing himself all over the court and skillfully avoiding landing in the mud. Meanwhile, K proved she should probably stick to playing with her left hand…

When enough players arrived, we took to a slightly less muddy pitch for Hockey. The ground was still rather slippery and almost everyone ended up falling over, some several times. This was a tough match with only nine players, and Jez soon became the most coveted player on the pitch as he swapped from red to yellow and back again.

In the end it was the red team who won 5-4.

Next up was Sticky Ball, where the damp conditions again caused havoc as some of the balls refused to stick. Because there were so few players we opted for the passing version of the game that Greg had dreamt up – all players on a team had to touch the ball before an attempt could be made at scoring. With an extra player and better marking, the yellow team were easy winners, two matches to nil.

We stopped for tea and held the EGM to elect the committee to their new positions. Dave was elected Chairman, Pete Treasurer and K Secretary and Press/Publicity Officer. Official business over, we could then get on with the important matter of drinking tea.

After tea and Suggestive Biscuits, we opted for another running game and played Double Hoop Netball. Scoring proved challenging for both teams, although again Jez was the star player. The blue team proved better at marking and tactics and went on to win a comfortable victory.

We played Splat, before another couple of games of Big Tennis – in which the combination of Pete, K and Terminator proved no match for Paul and Jez. When the net collapsed we decided it was time to pack up early – unfortunately for Robert who turned up just as we were getting ready to leave.

Wednesday night saw the first indoor games session of the winter, at the YMCA in Bournemouth. Despite initial worries that we wouldn’t have many players, turnout was excellent and we played a range of net games, including Bouncing Volleyball, SurReal Tennis and Frisbee Toss.

Several balls and frisbees were temporarily lost to the balcony, while new player Dean was almost lost out of the fire exit when he fell over backwards.

A game of Netball got everybody hot and sweaty with lots of running around. Both teams were evenly matched and it was the green team who were the first to ten points.

Schoonball, a terrifically scary form of Dodgeball using plastic racquets to defend yourself from a deluge incoming balls, was the last game of the night and was an exhilarating way to end the evening.

Thanks to everyone who came to Wednesday games; we’re going to make it a weekly occurrence.

The Silly Army will be meeting this Sunday from 1pm in King’s Park. Check out our website for more details.

Silly Army: Return of the Machine (and Cladwhacking)

It was an historic day indeed for The Silly Army last Sunday as we saw the return of two top players who’d been missing for some weeks. Helen, aka the Score Machine, had recovered enough from her Volleyball injury to rejoin the troops for some games, and it just so happened she turned up in the middle of her specialist game, StickyBall.

Two machines: one game - StickyBall.

We also welcomed back Ras, who had been out of the country for the last month. Dodgeball just isn’t the same without his hopping, skipping and impossible dodging. It was also great to see Tori, Viv and Rob, some of our newest recruits, back for some more punishment fun; even better they had brought more new members with them.

This was probably just as well as some of the longer serving members were flagging. Barry was somewhat worse for wear after a day and night on the lager, while Chris was feeling so poorly he barely played at all. The Silly Flu also seemed to be plaguing some of the members, with K and Dave coughing and spluttering their way through the afternoon.

As is the way these days, we began with Big Tennis. The wind is certainly an advantage, or disadvantage depending on what side of the net you’re standing on, in our new court – as is the fact Pete can’t lay out an even sized court if you gave him a measuring tape. One side is always bigger than the other.

Terminator suggested swapping ends of the pitch halfway through, which certainly helped even out the scoring, but for the second week in a row we ended on one game each.

Big Tennis is The Silly Army's most popular game.

With fresh legs arriving we played Hockey, and snot-nosed K was given a real workout in the red goal. The yellow team were by far the stronger on paper, but the reds battled hard, Mike, Greg and Pete proving nifty players despite Greg being repeatedly de-sticked. Terminator, Ras and Steph were on fire for the yellows, however, and despite a valiant battle by the reds it was the yellows who won the match.

After some Dodgeball it was time for StickyBall, and the game had just got underway when the Machine turned up to lend her talents to the blue team. The fact half the blues were distracted by chatting while the yellows scored three goals in succession didn’t help the blue campaign, and the yellows seized the game quickly.

It was time for a very special tea and cake break as Mrs Doyle’s tea shop was this week accompanied by Dave’s Fantastic Bakery – a chocolate cake whipped up for Karl and Richard’s birthdays. We also had some vegan cupcakes from Mrs Doyle, so it was a very full Silly Army that took to the pitch to play CombiBall when tea break was over.

A belly full of tea and cake does not particularly complement running around chasing balls, and the greedy bunch on the blue team were soon feeling the effects of their halftime binge, the yellows with super-scoring Ras and Dave going quickly ahead.

However, the blues began to fight back with some great shooting by the Machine and impressive football goals from K and newbie Emma. The most impressive goal of the day has to be shared, however: Jez managed to boot the ball all the way from his own half into the open goal. Moments later, proving that anything a man can do a girl can do better, Steph did the same from further up the pitch. The blues were back in the game.

Sadly, despite these super shots, it was not enough to outsmart the yellow team, who won comfortably with a high goal.

How to play Tchouckball. Sort of.

A quick game of Splat enabled everyone to cool down before another old friend returned in the shape of Cladwhacking. This is a game that divides the Silly Army – you either love it or hate it. But many of the newer members gave it a go and got stuck in whacking each other with foam tubes. This time, it was the blues who were victorious.

Monkey Toss was next, again popular with those who hadn’t played it before, and becoming a real old favourite. Ras’s taunting monkey waving always entertains, and some clever diversion techniques by Pete’s team meant they were the top tossers.

Up for more running around, we played Tchouckball, a tough game as numbers were starting to drop off. The yellow team proved most successful at working the pitch, with particular skill from Terminator.

Once again we wrapped up with more Big Tennis before heading home for dinner.

The Silly Army meets every Sunday in King’s Park from 1pm. Come and join us!

The Silly Army – back in the park (and a whack in the back!)

The Silly Army were back in the park at last on Sunday, following a few weather and event enforced absences. For some, it had clearly been too long away, as legs, bottoms and various other body parts were mysteriously mistaken for hockey balls by certain players…

Giles shows how you're meant to play hockey - whacking the ball, not each other!

It was great to welcome some new members who had heard about the Sillies through the Bournemouth Echo. We quickly tempted them to join in with a game of Big Tennis (everyone’s favourite game right now) and they were so good we think they must be Big Tennis pros in disguise.

Steph and K both elected to play this game left-handed due to injuries, though both hoped not to injure their one remaining good arm. The ‘Kack-Handed Duo’, as they quickly branded themselves, were both on the same side and formed a great wonky armed allegiance, which turned out to be a winning formula in the first game. They came from several points down to win the first game. Terminator’s team were more successful in the rematch.

By now we had enough players to enjoy a run around game, so opted for Hockey. That was the cue for the rain gods to open the heavens upon us, and late arrival Lisa very wisely stayed in the car until the rain had stopped while the rest of us ran around getting wet. Lisa’s arrival was all that was needed to spur the red team into action, for no sooner had she set foot on the pitch than the reds had scored.

The yellows soon got one back, a wet ball and continued finger injuries making goal keeping rather tricky. Helen arrived to join the yellows, battling hard as always. However, we fear she may need to take a trip to SpecSavers as she mistook Dave’s leg and Pete’s thigh for the ball… Either that or she was just taking the excuse to give them a whack, and quite frankly, who wouldn’t? Whichever it was this was the cause of much hilarity, and thankfully both our esteemed leaders are thick skinned. K took a similar approach in the red goal, whacking Greg instead of the ball to concede a point.

It was the red team who were most on fire and they took victory. Pete decided we should only play to five points, probably so nobody else hit him with a hockey stick.

Dodgeball - a gentler game with silly poses.

Next up was a quieter game of Dodgeball, which our new players again proved good at. Then it was time to bib up for Stickyball and unfortunately for the blue team this was another yellow team massacre. Good passing and communication in the yellow team might be the secret, along with some excellent marking and players who can really jump.

Wet balls meant sticking was a bit of an issue for both teams, though the blues’ claim that their top goal wasn’t sticky was poo-pooed somewhat when the teams changed ends.

After Sticky Ball it was time for some tossing and Monkey Toss was the order of the day. Steph and K were named team captains and chose their favourite tossers. We went back to the running approach in lieu of the mincing we tried a few weeks ago, and with three runners it was hard to get monkeys through let alone toss them.

K’s team’s tossing was woefully off target, not helped at all by the wind, while Steph managed some very artistic monkey positioning. Team K came close to forcing a draw but it was Steph’s squad of top tossers who won the day.

Tossers.

Pete has been building strange metal things again, this time high, brightly coloured netball style goals with hoops on both sides. We are inventing a game provisionally called B’stard Ball, in which you will have a ‘Good’ and ‘Bad’ goal at each end. However, for this week, to practice using the nets we played a netball style game.

Helen was by far man of the match, with excellent shooting skills that were rarely off target. Pete’s team went for too many big point shots outside the exclusion zone early on, and also suffered from playing into the sunlight. Mimi and K made some good moves down the wing and Greg was the sharpest shooter for Pete’s team, but Helen’s side also had Kev, a midfield dynamo who seems able to intercept just about every shot going. Pete’s side did battle back valiantly, even with their captain off the pitch tackling children who were trying to steal our monkeys, but Helen’s shooting skills could not be bested.

After a tea break, we split into two groups – K and the boys played Missile Command, where Pete’s team excelled, while Lisa and Helen led the rest of the group in more Big Tennis.

As numbers began to dwindle when people’s tummies started rumbling for dinner, we all ended up on the Big Tennis court. The dynamic duos of Mimi and Terminator and Barry and Dave played the last game of the day, Mimi and Terminator claiming victory.

Pedal Car Alan and the rest of the team will be in action at Blackbushe Pedal Car race.

While the rest of us packed up, Mimi and Dave were left behind in the park with a volleyball to play basketball with – there’s no stopping the Silly Army when they get started!

The Silly Army members Pete, K, Helen, Rich, Alan and Steph are away at the Blackbushe Pedal Car championships this weekend – wish us luck! However, Dave will be running the regular session in King’s Park from 1pm on Sunday, so come along and play with him!