Silly Army – A Load Of Old Planks

K and Steph prepare to give Pete a sound planking.

After being rained off the previous week, last Sunday The Silly Army were back in King’s Park with a vengeance, and had some new games to try to boot.

The Bournemouth sports club for adults are organising the games for Party on the Pier on Boscombe Pier on March 12th, and Pete, Dave and K have been busy devising and building games for the last couple of months, ably assisted by Pat, Robert and Alan.

So last Sunday the Silly Army trailer rolled up not just with the standard goals, balls and sticks, but also with barrels and planks not seen since the great raft non-victory of August 2010.

While Dave gets his thrills plank standing, we all know Helen is thinking those three little letters: W T F?

These are part of the Bridging The Gap challenge, getting from one piece of ground to the other without touching feet down, using only the barrels and planks. Cue much arguing as the Sillies attempted to work out the best way to complete the challenge. After much deliberation, it was unanimously decided that Dave was best at standing on planks.

We also attempted the Spacehopper Steeplechase, with newly constructed jumps. Here we mourned the sad loss of a much prized hopper, Feck Off, who had been suffering from a slow puncture (bravely borne) for some time now, and eventually blew up when Steph sat on him. Despite this mishap, Steph soon proved that she and Pete are still the best bouncers in the Silly Army.

Feck Off lived up to his name when he blew up last Sunday. RIP.

We started games proper with that traditional opener, Big Tennis, before moving on to Hockey. As ever this was a long game with much midfield play and occasional goalmouth scrambling. We eventually decided to play to three, and the red team chipped home the winner. While the rest of the club was playing jolly hockey sticks, Rich was busy building a rocket sculpture from the barrels and planks – we expect his Turner Prize is in the post.

Sticky Ball action, where the greens took on the red/blues and won.

After a spot of Dodgeball we played Sticky Ball, a lack of red bibs meaning the greens took on the blue and reds. The greens won the first game, the blue/reds made a comeback in the second, but it was the greens who were more co-ordinated to take the match.

Another new game followed, a strange idea of Pete’s that followed the donation of several sets of bucket stilts from Inspieration. Stilt Football is easier said than done, and most of the Sillies spent most of the time trying to keep their feet on. Even the natural footballers Paul and Greg were struggling with this game and after we have eventually scored one goal each, a draw was agreed.

"OK, so there's a ball over there - now how the heck do we get to it?"

Next up was Impossiball, the game of large, cumbersome nets and soft balls that is incredibly difficult to score in. This was a game won by the reds, largely thanks to the skill of Alex (whom we believe is in the New Zealand Impossiball Olympics squad).

It was Alex who suggested the next game, too. It’s muddy, wet, cold and February, so of course the Silly Army jumped at the chance to get down on all fours and line up as if waiting some kind of gynaelogical procedure. The game was the Crab Race and the idea was to race on all fours across a small piece of ground. Ras and Alex seemed adept at this game, leaving the rest of the field far behind them.

The Silly Army welcomes you with open legs.

There was time for more Big Tennis, won by Helen’s team, before darkness fell and we had to pack up.

The Silly Army meet in King’s Park every Sunday at 1pm and play a range of games – you don’t need to be any good at sport to join us! We also meet on Wednesdays at the YMCA in Westover Road – come along and join us.

The Sunday sessions are free, Wednesday sessions cost £5 to cover hire of the hall.

Come to Silly Army and you can do this too...

Pictures by Chris and Ras.

Silly Army start 2011 with record turnout

The Silly Army have kicked off 2011 with record turnouts at both Sunday and Wednesday games sessions. Apologies for the lack of blogging of late, and thank you to everyone who has been turning up to Silly sessions and making them so much fun.

Gearing up for a game of hockey.

Last Sunday, Pete arrived with an extra pair of goals, kindly donated by the people at the YMCA, who had just bought a new set. This meant that we could set up two pitches should enough players turn up , or we could play a four way game. Obviously, we opted for the latter.

After a spot of Big Tennis, we first decided to play together and had a game of Sticky Ball. We’re still having a spot of bother with non-sticky sticky pads and both the yellow and blue teams were thwarted by s lack of stickiness on several occasions. Eventually, the yellow team won the first game and while the blues equalised in the second, the yellows eventually took that game too to win the match.

Then it was time to try a new game, one of Pete’s strange inventions, a four-way hockey match. Going by bib colour instead of the usual stick colour, teams of reds, yellows, greens and blues took to the pitch with five or six players aside. Each team had a simple objective; be the first to score three goals in any goal but their own. So that everyone had a vague idea of which way they were going, a each goal was also bedecked with a bib.

Dodgeball is hard enough with one ball - try it with four!

What followed was something resembling a cross between a live action version of the popular Risk boardgame and Benny Hill style chase as battles were fought out first in one goalmouth then another.

The blue team quickly took the lead (the score being 1-0-0-0) before Pete was quick to capitalise on the scramble in front of goal to score for the yellows (1-0-0-1). Duncan applied good pressure for the reds and with help from Helen caused the goal mouth confusion that led Ras, for the yellows, to shoot past his own keeper, losing that team their only point.

The blues had the best grasp of this new game and were the first to reach three points, just in time as there were now so many players on the pitch that we had run out of hockey sticks, latecomers resorting to playing with squash racquets (Tim) or hovering on the touchline (Paul).

This was a record breaking winter turnout for Silly Army and came close to our all-time record. So that everyone got to see some action, we decided to split into two sets, one playing Combi Ball and the other regular Hockey.

While a giant, chaotic game of Mass Dodgeball took place at one side of the field, on the other the committee set about dividing the playing space in two. The reds and yellows then took to the pitch for Combi while the greens and blues played Hockey, before swapping over.

Combi Ball is one of our own inventions.

While the greens and blues slogged on in a 0-0 deadlock, the yellows took a fast lead in Combi and had victory in their sights in the first half of the game. However, then the tide turned somewhat against them, as an insistence on going for glory shots (and missing!) saw them squander their lead as the reds started playing as more of an efficient team.  As the yellows failed repeatedly to secure the two points needed for a win, the reds came back to take the game, and deservedly so.

The blue team won the Hockey match and while the reds and yellows took straight to the pitch for the second game, the greens and blues took a breather/smoking break.

In a tight Hockey match, the yellows went ahead only for the reds to come back to leave the score precariously balanced at 4-4. However, it was the yellows that managed to chip home the winning goal. The blues and greens failed to report who had won their Combi game, and went on to play Crumbs & Crows.

Running around and being silly is good for you!

After some more Big Tennis, Karl unveiled a new touch-rugby style game, using the large hoops as goals. We once again formed into two teams of yellow and blue. A fast moving game, there was a bit of confusion over tagging and who was allowed to do what – a particularly valiant defence attempt must go to K and Lisa, who chased Chris all the way down the field to tag him just in front of goal.

We decided the game needed a bit more work but like the idea.

On Wednesday evening, we had a lower turnout than usual but welcomed another new player to the fold. We enjoyed a genteel game of Badminton, followed by some smashing Unreal Tennis. A rough and ready game of Netball followed before a long and tough game of Missile Command. We finished off with some Handball in which the red team, despite being first one then two players down, won a comfortable victory.

Come and join the Silly Army in King’s Park this Sunday from 1pm for free sports and games. We’re always keen to welcome new members!

Ice, eh? Ice, eh? Ice, eh? Skating around at Boxing Day games

An icy pitch and a shed that seemed to be emitting water caused consternation for the Silly Army’s K and Pete when they arrived to set up for Boxing Day games, as well as giving them the opportunity to stomp in icy puddles. A quick review of the pitch conditions led to the decision to slide everything left a bit on to greener grass, where it was slightly less treacherous to unload the Silly Army kit.

We were soon joined by Dave, who was nearly thwarted by the ice, but luckily Silly people bounce and he was unharmed.

Helen, Clarkson, Duncan and Paul soon joined for much merriment on a crispy pitch. Under the watchful eye of a slow moving helicopter, the games commenced.

Big Tennis was the order of the day, the ball freshly pumped and suitably dirty, it actually bounced better on the frozen ground.  Move of the day goes to Helen, K and Dave for the ‘Squealing Bundle’ formation, that somehow or another got the ball over the net.

There was a lack of wind in King’s Park (one can only assume it has Christmas off) so we played Silly Badminton. Move of that game has to go to Pete for hitting himself in the face – it had no impact on play or his ability to hit the shuttle cock, but self-flagelation is always entertaining to watch.

Next it was time for a roundaround and we played Passing Sticky Ball (in which every player has to touch the ball). Duncan’s expert marking was a boon to the blue team; everybody’s cack handed catching was a bonus to nobody. After an eternity, during which Pete got bored and wandered off to even out the sides, the blues eventually claimed victory, though Helen disputed this with the shake test, nobody listened to her on account of fearing the game would go on for ever.

To finish up we played Three Man Hockey (having lost Clarkson) and despite some deft moves from Paul for the reds, it was the yellows who emerged victorious, 10-9. Man of the match here has to be Pete, not just for a spectacular solo effort fighting his way through a sea of red players, but also for not being thwarted by an open goal – there’s a first time for everything!

The Silly Army will be playing in the YMCA hall this Wednesday, and back in the park next Sunday. Come, join us!

Baby it’s cold outside… But not too cold for games!

Wrapped up warm, the Silly Army come out to play.

In bitterly cold wind, a well wrapped up Silly Army took to the park on Sunday for more silly sports and games.

When Dave, K and Pete stood surveying the chilly park at 1pm the wondered if they’d get many players – but never doubt the Silly Army troops, they were soon turning out in force (and several layers of clothing).

Starting with a toe-numbingly cold game of Big Tennis, it was quickly decided that we should play a runaround, firstly because there were now lots of players and secondly in the hope of defrosting our tootsies.

We started with hockey and despite the yellow team featuring some of the best hockey players, including dynamo Steph, Alex, Paul and Karen, the red team’s combination of the ever-speedy Giles, all-over-the-pitch Greg and surprisingly-fast-when-he-wants-to-be (usually when there’s chocolate to be chased down) Pete meant the play was quite balanced with spells of activity at both ends of the pitch. Both teams were playing together very well and everyone was able to make a real contribution to the game, when the hard-to-control ball allowed, of course.

The reds went ahead and the yellows soon equalised, the score fairly quickly moving to 3-3. However, it was the yellows who managed to chip two more past the red defence and keeper K to win 5-3.

The Silly Army version of Handball

After a spot of Double Dodge, where Steph and Giles were among the best at surviving their friends’ efforts to knock them out.

We lost Richard and Alan to Bike Club, while the rest of us played Sticky Ball. Here the yellow team had the winning combination, winning the first game quickly while the blue team had good movement but couldn’t get their balls to stick. The yellow team won the first game 3-0 and while the blues managed to get two on the board in the second game they were beaten 3-2 in the end.

The idea is to get your hands to the ball. Though with the whole heads-at-groin-level thing, you have to avoid headbutting anyone in them.

Next up was Combi Ball. Still smarting from being on the losing side of the notorious 21-0 defeat a few weeks ago, the blue team’s Pete was quick to chip in some ground level goals to open the scoring. For a while play was quite even again, although the yellows were playing much better as a unit, making full use of space and all team members. Top prize has to go to the incredibly versatile Paul, however, the first person in the history of Silly Army to score a kicked goal in the high net, securing 10 points and a win for his team. Only Ras has touched on this before, and then only in practice, not in active play. The rare sighting Lee spent an entire games session in the summer trying to achieve this elusive goal – we think he’s gone off somewhere with a large hoop and a ball and is still practising.

There was just enough time, and we had just enough feeling in our fingers, to play Impossiball, the game of home-made large lacrosse style nets. K gave a great demonstration of how not to do a throw-in in Impossiball after thrice lobbing the ball off the pitch. However, she redeemed herself a little by forming a good up-front partnership with Esther for a goal.

Balls up!

Remembering to add the exclusion zones about halfway through the game made it a little easier to score and this proved to be the blue team’s game, winning 5-3 after latecomer Nick provided reinforcements.

Then it was time to pack up and head home once more, curse these dark nights.

It was great to see so many players turning out for Wednesday games at the YMCA this week. We played UnReal Tennis (the indoor version of Big Tennis, using the walls like in Real Tennis…) with the largest number ever recorded.

Netball allowed Helen, Alex and Paul to really show off their shooting skills on the green team, while Tori, Sabine and Pete excelled for the reds. It’s great to see, or rather hear, that Lisa’s fantastically distracting “war cries” are still in fine operation, excellent for putting the other side off!

“It’s coming right for him!” Nobody has the heart to tell Rob an alien is about to pounce on his head. They just stand and watch.

Handball is a crazy game played with a googly faced ball that never quite does what you want. This was a game won by the red team, clearly more experienced in punching things with a face on them…

There was time for some indoor Loopy Lobbing, which is clearly Giles’s game, before it was time to go out into the cold.

Thanks to everyone for continuing to support us at Sunday and Wednesday games. We are really pleased to see so many people turning up to play. We will be in the park this Sunday, snow or no snow, and in the YMCA hall again next Wednesday. Come along and join us!

The Silly Army line dancing class really needs some practice!