Snow stopping Silly Army! December games report

You could be forgiven for thinking The Silly Army sports and games club haven’t been up to much over the past few weeks due to the lack of blogging – but you’d be wrong. It’s been a busy few weeks indeed, hence the slow progress in reporting games activity. But we’ve still been out and about in the field and the YMCA Hall. Here is what we’ve been getting up to…

Sunday the 5th of December almost saw the most shocking defeat in the history of the Silly Army (even worse than the 21-0 Combi Ball fiasco) when Big Tennis came close to being a 21-0 defeat for the team featuring all three Silly Army committee members.

The ice man cometh...

Appallingly bad whacking from K, Pete and Dave (largely going backwards, sideways, upwards and indeed anywhere apart from over the net) and a few co-conspirators saw Steph’s team comprehensively wipe the floor with their opposition. The committee team did claw a few points back before skulking off with their tails between their legs to play Hockey.

There’s an unwritten rule at Silly Army that the colder the weather, the longer the Hockey match will be. That certainly played out this week as the toe-chillingly cold weather saw a very, very lengthy game indeed.

It was a well balanced game however, going to 4-4 before the red team eventually chipped the winning goal past yellow keeper K.

After a muddy, slippery game of Dodgeball, it was time for a slightly controversial game of Sticky Ball. The yellow team won the first game but the blues came back for the second. As players began to drift away, it was the blue team who kept their eyes on the ball for the final match to win 2-1.

As the light began to fade, there was just time for a game of Monkey Toss in which Alex’s team dunked the opposition.

Dave, dressed for the occasion.

Sunday 12th December saw the return of some old faces. Tim, on his apparently annual visit, fitted straight into the Big Tennis match and was soon filling in for the much missed Terminator giving Pete abuse.

Occasional guest London Dave dropped in too, but despite this combination Steph’s team won Big Tennis.

Hockey was a very close game and it was decided to play to 10 instead of 5. First the reds led 5-0 and it was decided to swap ends. The yellows came back and scored five in reply to take the score to 5-5 with all ten goals scored in the same end.

We swapped ends again and the yellows took the lead 8-6, despite Chris trying to confuse everyone by making up the score for his red team. The score went to 9-9 and the reds eventually won with an amazing goal from Tim.

Next we played Dodgeball, the yellows being all over the blues for the first game and the blues coming back for the second to take it to one a piece. But swift shooting from the yellows meant they won 2-1.

The Silly Army playing in the snow.

It’s been a long time since we played Randomiser, but that’s what we did next, bouncing a ball randomly off trampolines and the dodgeball, attempting to make the other team miss. There was much confusion as to what the actual score was after we ran out of fingers to count it on; we think Pete’s team won, but we’re really not sure.

Another game we haven’t played for a while, Space Invaders (the original version) came next. The object is to knock either one eyed or two eyed monsters, in the shape of traffic cones, off posts with a ball. The yellow team proved best at this, quickly demolishing the one-eyed monsters.

The yellow team also took victory in Tchoukball, possibly because they could see each other’s bibs better as it was getting rather dark by then.

Football in the snow.

On the 19th the ground was coated in ice and snow, but that was no deterrent to The Silly Army, who came out to play in surprising force.

Fresh snow fell as we set up, which meant  the first game of the day was snowball fighting – largely an excuse to throw snow at Dave.

We took to the pitch to play Snow Football, giving Pete the chance to demonstrate why he’s being called up for the England Squad with his spectacular open goal miss.

It was the blue team who eventually won this slippery game. After slippy Dodgeball, we played Sticky Ball, the yellows finding their ice shoes to win a comprehensive victory.

Impossiball proved a great game on ice as we skated around the pitch, the yellows again sliding their way to victory.

Impossiball on ice is rather entertaining.

Then it was time for icy Hockey, where despite freezing toes the yellow team beat the reds 5-4.

All too soon it was time to slip slide home.

The Silly Army would like to wish all our members and readers a Merry Christmas. We’ll be out to play on Boxind Day from 1pm.

Another sunny Sunday Silly session!

The Silly Army last Sunday.

Despite being described by some nay-sayers at Bournemouth Council as an “underused resource”, King’s Park was again busy on Sunday afternoon as footballers, cyclists, dog walkers, families and runners made the best of the gloriously crisp, sunny day to enjoy the benefits of spending time in green space.

Big Tennis - by far the best way to start a Sunday afternoon in King's Park.

In their new spot in the far corner, The Silly Army were of course out in force, and it was super to see lots of new players as well as many familiar faces. Welcome, Alex, Nick, Matt, Sue and Visiting John – we hope you’ll come and play with us some more!

As has become a tradition with Silly Army, we started our park games session with a game of Big Tennis. The new players all took to this game surprisingly well, quickly showing some of the old hands how it should be done. Due to various late night games, drinking sessions and emergency 1am peppermint tea deliveries, some of the old guard were a little off the ball, and the ball itself was quite frequently off the court as we whacked it here, there and everywhere. However, some good rallies were eventually had, and Karen’s team were the most alert to claim a deserved victory.

Dave proves he has the legs for a netball skirt.

First up on the big pitch was Double Netball, a recently invented game with two very high, very small netball hoops in which you have to toss your balls.

This is a fast game that soon had everybody warmed up in the chilly air. This is a game where the girls tend to excel – Helen in particular an excellent shooter – but the boys proved they were just as comfortable in netball skirts (well, according to what we’ve heard about some of them…) and a tight, frantic game ensued, eventually won by the blue team.

While Dave organised a game of dodgeball, Mrs Doyle’s tea shop opened early – but not for the usual reason of a well-earned tea break. Oh no, the next game was one that hadn’t been played for a while and was new to many of the more recent Silly Army members.

English Football is truly the Beautiful Game. It’s played the way football was intended to be played – with a cup of tea, a saucer and a strategically placed biscuit. The object of the game is to score standard football goals, without spilling your tea or getting a soggy biscuit. Cue lots of mincing as players attempt to keep up with the ball without losing any of the precious brown stuff.

Viv was spectacularly fouled as the ball knocked her cup and saucer clean out of her hand, while Pete played by the book and gained some advantages – drinking his tea, getting a refill and eating not just his own but other team members’ biscuits.

English Football also requires that each player carries an Excuse Me card, which can be presented once to an opposition player, who must oblige by stepping aside. However, not many of the Sillies played this card to their advantage, too focused on keeping their saucers clean. Despite having tea junkies Pete and K on their team, the blue team lost out to the yellows.

There's something wrong with this football game... That's right, everyone needs a nice cup of tea!

Tea was not required for an evenly matched game of hockey, where K’s late night peppermint antics saw her being not particularly on form in the yellow goal. Both the red and yellow strike forces were on good form, though, and K eventually woke up enough to defend in golden goal time by kneeling on the ball, not in the slightest intimidated by Pete’s (joking?!) threat to put leg and ball in the goal. The yellow team struck gold soon after and won the game.

Sticky Ball came next and was again quite evenly matched. The yellows got off to a great start but it was the blues who played better and won the game.

After tea break proper, we played Tchoukball and here the yellow team started off playing far better. Steph, Karen and Paul are among the best players at this game and all were on target. The blues soon picked things up and began to catch up, but this was another yellow victory.

Despite being pursued by two giant shadows, Helen is not distracted during Impossiball.

Next up was another game we hadn’t played for a while, Impossiball. This is a lacrosse style game with home-made racquets that make the transition of the ball somewhat difficult to control. New girl Alex adopted a particularly entertaining method of moving the ball – dragging it behind her along the ground inside the racquet. This proved a rather effective target, and she proved a sharp shooter – scoring an excellent through the hoop goal (worth two points). Yellows however scored the winning goal.

There was time for some tossing with a tense Monkey Toss match, blessedly free of wind this week, which meant the flying monkeys flew better. This was another very close game and it all came down to the last toss. K proved that tossing monkeys is one of her few sporting talents, thus crowning Pete’s team Top Tossers and negating the need for a toss off.

Impossiball by name...

More big tennis was played to round the day off and at 6.30pm it was time to trundle home before it got dark.

On Wednesday a selection of Sillies enjoyed more indoor games at the YMCA. A newly designed missile game was followed by Unreal Tennis, involving the ball bouncing off the walls (and also involving quite a lot of ducking as the ball moves rather fast).

We also played Bouncing Volleyball, and Netball where the green team won comfortably – Helen proving once again what an excellent shot she is. Pete meanwhile proved his girlie credentials by tying with Tori as the best shooter for the red team.

The Silly Army hope a giant ice rink doesn't land on their heads.

The Silly Army will be meeting in King’s Park again from 1pm this Sunday. We will be playing Randomiser, Big Tennis, Combi Ball, Cladwhacking, Hockey, Budge, Monkey Toss and other games – come along and join us.

Apologies for the lack of blog activity last week. The Silly Army committee has been extremely hard at work organising paperwork, fighting the ice rink plans and planning a series of activities to ensure winter is far from boring – including The Silly Army Christmas Party (yay!). Details will follow in Dave’s mailout shortly.

Alex provided a great news write-up of his first experience of Wednesday games. Read it here.

 

 

 

Pete and Dave look quite the happy newlyweds in this shot, and all their friends look happy for them. All except Alan, who is clearly coveting Karen's cup of tea.

Uphill struggle – Silly Army at Blackbushe Pedal Car race

Helen in action in Doris.

A Silly Army batallion made journey into the great unknown, otherwise known as Berkshire, last weekend to compete in the Blackbushe Pedal Car race.

On Friday evening three intrepid travellers, Rich, K and Pete, supported by a couple of monkeys, squeezed themselves and the pedal car into Pete’s magic vehicle Sweetpea and headed in the direction of Blackbushe.

It’s amazing how much one little car can carry and equally amazing how much stuff the three thought they needed for two nights of camping and two days of furious pedalling. Still, after getting caught in the rain during our last camping adventure, we weren’t taking any chances and brought equipment for every occasion.

First challenge of the day was getting everything to fit in the car, which me managed admirably. All packed and ready to go we headed Berkshirewards. We were somewhat alarmed by the sudden decision of the driver to stop, announce “I have a job to do!” and promptly disappear under the bonnet – especially as we just assumed he was going for a wee. He emerged seconds later with a couple of springs in his hands, evidently not vital to Sweetpea’s running as we managed to reach Farmborough without anything falling off.

The Silly Army don't have tanks - just double decker vehicles.

Finding the campsite proved a little tricky but excellent navigation skills meant we too just one wrong turn on a rather strange roundabout. We arrived at a scout centre, spied another pedal car parked outside and new we were in the right place.

The camping venue was amazing, and we had our own boutique suite among the trees where we set up camp and put Mrs Doyle to work making sausages, mushrooms and the ubiquitous tea for dinner. Thanks to some foresight we had brought some camping stoves this time, making the whole field kitchen experience a lot quicker and more pleasurable.

Saturday morning came and after more nosh we set off to find the circuit, and Helen, who had driven down at the crack of dawn.

Pete’s professional driver instincts kicked in and, despite suggestions from his fellow travellers that maybe, perhaps, just possibly following the car in front with a pedal car on its roof might be the best way to find the circuit, he opted for the optional detour, taking in great views of Farnborough airport and the M3. After a considerable time spent going round in circles (perhaps in preparation for the race) we found the circuit, and Helen who had just arrived.

Pete has a Chameleon in his slip stream.

We pitched up next to French team Chameleon and set about unloading Doris the pedal car and pitching day camp.

Observing the other racers it was quickly established there were few other entrants in the Gentleman’s Tourer category. The speedy machines of Apollo, Swebelli and others were in a slightly different class from Team Silly.

Unfortunately the Gentleman’s Tourer class has yet to be officially recognised; more unfortunately still Pete and Richard didn’t make very convincing women, so we couldn’t enter the ladies only class either. However, we were there to enjoy ourselves and as soon as we got out on to the circuit for some practices, it was clear it was going to be a fun day.

Doris was most probably the heaviest car there but that didn’t stop the Silly team enjoying themselves. On a scorching day, we had the foresight to bring a lot of water with us – we were going to need it.

First up were four 45 minute sprint races, where Helen was particularly impressive, recording consistent times over and over again. This put her in great steed for the final race of the day, the three hour endurance.

Richard in action.

Despite Doris’s weight and lack of upper gearing, we still managed to compete with some of the other heavier cars and finished 16th on the day – not a bad effort, especially as K and Helen were pedal car virgins.

Doris, however, suffered some serious spoke damage to her back wheel and this meant we had to rethink our plans of racing two cars between five competitors on the second day.

After packing up Helen headed back to Bournemouth while K, Rich and Pete went back to camp to unload the pedal car before setting out on another mission – operation chips.

Finding a decent chip shop in North Camp, we sat round the fire discussing plans for Sunday, a five hour endurance race. Alan and Steph were set to join us the next day and unfortunately couldn’t magic up a spare wheel for Doris at such short notice.

However, Steph was bringing her speedy Squeelz on Wheels car and we decided we’d chose the team by tossing a coin.

In the lead - woo, yeah!

On Sunday we packed up camp and found the circuit more easily. The weather was looking rather more grim and it was decided by the toss of a coin that K, not Pete, would complete the second day’s line-up. Pete was able to record our lap times and give us a good talking to if we were going too slowly.

The challenge for the faster racers was to complete the circuit in less than a minute and the gauntlet was accepted by Alan, who whizzed around in an amazing 59.8 seconds.

Best times for the rest were: Steph 103.3; Richard 102.5; K 1.11 – an impressive effort by all. There may have been faster times but our official recorder was lured by the call of chocolate and LEGO at the neighbouring market, then roped in to help in the lap counting booth.

Steph lines up for scrutineering, with a bit of ad-hoc weatherproofing!

Though the first hour and a half of racing seemed to go on for ever, when the team got into their rhythm the time flew by. Reports from the lap counter let us know which cars to chase down, and we were embroiled in a fun, friendly but competitive battle with our neighbours, the lovely Chameleon team.

A final push helped us leap up the ranks for a comfortable midtable position of 9th. With a lighter car it was great to be more competitive on the second day.

Thanks to everyone at Blackbushe for making us feel welcome and for a great weekend’s racing! We’ll be back with Doris, or perhaps a new car, when we’ve found a wheelchair to steel a wheel from…

Alan chases down our nearest rivals, Chameleon.

Reports from Dave back at the park, where he ran a mini games session, saw an unfortunate injury to the Score Machine Helen after slipping during volleyball (get well soon, we don’t know the score without you!) and some new faces who proved naturals.

Wednesday saw the last weekday games of the year, until we can find a sports hall. Still somewhat cack-handed K and Steph gave Pete and new recruit Mike a good run for their money at Big Tennis.

Hockey saw a yellow team victory after the reds made a good fight back from being 5-1 down, while Sticky Ball was another yellow team whitewash, the blues being outjumped, outmanouvered and out stuck at every opportunity.

We tried some more Big Tennis but by then the invasion of the midges had started, so it was time to pack up Wednesday sessions for another year.

Steph keeps smiling all through the five hour race!

The Silly Army will still be playing sports and games in King’s Park every Sunday from 1pm, come along and join us, and click on the link above for directions.

We’ll also be at Fit Christchurch next Saturday, attempting to break the Space Hopper 100m World Record. Come along and give it a try yourself!

*Official Blackbushe results hadn’t been published at time of writing.

The Silly Army – back in the park (and a whack in the back!)

The Silly Army were back in the park at last on Sunday, following a few weather and event enforced absences. For some, it had clearly been too long away, as legs, bottoms and various other body parts were mysteriously mistaken for hockey balls by certain players…

Giles shows how you're meant to play hockey - whacking the ball, not each other!

It was great to welcome some new members who had heard about the Sillies through the Bournemouth Echo. We quickly tempted them to join in with a game of Big Tennis (everyone’s favourite game right now) and they were so good we think they must be Big Tennis pros in disguise.

Steph and K both elected to play this game left-handed due to injuries, though both hoped not to injure their one remaining good arm. The ‘Kack-Handed Duo’, as they quickly branded themselves, were both on the same side and formed a great wonky armed allegiance, which turned out to be a winning formula in the first game. They came from several points down to win the first game. Terminator’s team were more successful in the rematch.

By now we had enough players to enjoy a run around game, so opted for Hockey. That was the cue for the rain gods to open the heavens upon us, and late arrival Lisa very wisely stayed in the car until the rain had stopped while the rest of us ran around getting wet. Lisa’s arrival was all that was needed to spur the red team into action, for no sooner had she set foot on the pitch than the reds had scored.

The yellows soon got one back, a wet ball and continued finger injuries making goal keeping rather tricky. Helen arrived to join the yellows, battling hard as always. However, we fear she may need to take a trip to SpecSavers as she mistook Dave’s leg and Pete’s thigh for the ball… Either that or she was just taking the excuse to give them a whack, and quite frankly, who wouldn’t? Whichever it was this was the cause of much hilarity, and thankfully both our esteemed leaders are thick skinned. K took a similar approach in the red goal, whacking Greg instead of the ball to concede a point.

It was the red team who were most on fire and they took victory. Pete decided we should only play to five points, probably so nobody else hit him with a hockey stick.

Dodgeball - a gentler game with silly poses.

Next up was a quieter game of Dodgeball, which our new players again proved good at. Then it was time to bib up for Stickyball and unfortunately for the blue team this was another yellow team massacre. Good passing and communication in the yellow team might be the secret, along with some excellent marking and players who can really jump.

Wet balls meant sticking was a bit of an issue for both teams, though the blues’ claim that their top goal wasn’t sticky was poo-pooed somewhat when the teams changed ends.

After Sticky Ball it was time for some tossing and Monkey Toss was the order of the day. Steph and K were named team captains and chose their favourite tossers. We went back to the running approach in lieu of the mincing we tried a few weeks ago, and with three runners it was hard to get monkeys through let alone toss them.

K’s team’s tossing was woefully off target, not helped at all by the wind, while Steph managed some very artistic monkey positioning. Team K came close to forcing a draw but it was Steph’s squad of top tossers who won the day.

Tossers.

Pete has been building strange metal things again, this time high, brightly coloured netball style goals with hoops on both sides. We are inventing a game provisionally called B’stard Ball, in which you will have a ‘Good’ and ‘Bad’ goal at each end. However, for this week, to practice using the nets we played a netball style game.

Helen was by far man of the match, with excellent shooting skills that were rarely off target. Pete’s team went for too many big point shots outside the exclusion zone early on, and also suffered from playing into the sunlight. Mimi and K made some good moves down the wing and Greg was the sharpest shooter for Pete’s team, but Helen’s side also had Kev, a midfield dynamo who seems able to intercept just about every shot going. Pete’s side did battle back valiantly, even with their captain off the pitch tackling children who were trying to steal our monkeys, but Helen’s shooting skills could not be bested.

After a tea break, we split into two groups – K and the boys played Missile Command, where Pete’s team excelled, while Lisa and Helen led the rest of the group in more Big Tennis.

As numbers began to dwindle when people’s tummies started rumbling for dinner, we all ended up on the Big Tennis court. The dynamic duos of Mimi and Terminator and Barry and Dave played the last game of the day, Mimi and Terminator claiming victory.

Pedal Car Alan and the rest of the team will be in action at Blackbushe Pedal Car race.

While the rest of us packed up, Mimi and Dave were left behind in the park with a volleyball to play basketball with – there’s no stopping the Silly Army when they get started!

The Silly Army members Pete, K, Helen, Rich, Alan and Steph are away at the Blackbushe Pedal Car championships this weekend – wish us luck! However, Dave will be running the regular session in King’s Park from 1pm on Sunday, so come along and play with him!

Seven hours Silly – Silly Army keep it up for seven hours

“You know, we’ve been playing for seven hours,” remarked Lee at the end of another mammoth Silly Army sports and games session on Sunday. Indeed we had and it just goes to show, even in sweltering temperatures, Silly Army men and ladies can keep it up for seven hours – now that’s stamina.

Sunday was a scorcher and a day for net games.

Because it was another very hot day, the Sillies opted to play a lot of net games. We also spent a lot of time squirting each other with water pistols – very refreshing!

But we started with the trampette game invented by Mimi, K and Pete a few weeks ago, involving a dodgeball trapped between two trampettes, with the object being to bounce a ball off either the trampettes or the dodgeball so the team on the opposite side can’t catch it.

The unpredictability of the bounce from the dodgeball adds great entertainment value as the ball frequently bounces over the head of the player throwing it – which Alex learned to his cost.

Dave and Pete’s team took a clear lead while Alex and Lee learned how to control their balls, but eventually their team battled back. Mike’s mere presence on the pitch spurred them on to victory.

Next we limbered up to the big net. Volleyball and Big Tennis were the order of the day, with the Dave-Pete-Lee triangle proving a successful position.

When at last we decided to brave the heat and play a runaround game, it was suggested that we picked teams for hockey the way it was done in school. Because he suggested it, Lee was naturally left on the bench until last.

Terminator’s red team contained a lot of the better hockey players, including Steph and Pete. However, everyone’s game was heat-affected, and it was Alex’s yellow team who won the match.

The yellow and blue bibs had been eschewed by giant reds and greens this week, which cause a moral dilemma for ‘I’m always yellow’ Terminator. Despite the fact he had to be red, Termy’s team were still winners at Sticky Ball.

It was time to break for tea and us tea lovers were delighted that Mrs Doyle’s kitchen now contained a third flask, meaning there was ample to go around. Giles, the man with endless energy, literally skipped tea break by skipping through it.

Tead up, caked up we played some more Big Tennis while the pitch was set up for tchoukball.

Tchouckball: it's not as scary as it looks.

Tchoukball made a welcome return after some weeks’ absence. We had to go over the rules again as many of the group hadn’t played before.

Tchouk involves bouncing an odd shaped ball off a trampette for another member of your team to catch. Again, the bounce of the ball can be deceptive, which makes this game quite challenging.

The red team got off to a flying start but the greens started to catch up as they got a better grasp of the game and K made a series of good interceptions.

The closest game of the day was Monkey Toss. Pete’s team nearly peaked too soon by carrying too many monkeys too early; Giles’s team even had to do two runs in a row at one point. However, their tossing let them down and they underestimated the cunningness of The Silly Army’s very own Dick Dastardly and his team.

We're a bunch of (monkey) tossers.

Once Team Pete had some monkeys back, their superior tossing ability meant a draw was forced. There was only one thing to do: toss off!

Pete’s team got more on the board and earned the coveted title of Top Tossers.

A rotating tennis game led to much confusion and an eventual pitch invasion, where more Big Tennis was played.

We broke again for tea and then tried a missile game, Missile Attack. With tennis balls on top of cones we lobbed missiles at each other with gay abandon. Pete’s team led until Termy’s team called for a change of course due to wind advantage.

Space hopper cricket came next, with Terminator, Giles, Steph and Spencer recording scores while the rest of us went out for nothing.

More net games were played into the evening, with Long Tennis making an appearance after we had packed up the court, and we played on until pensioners Pete and Dave collapsed in a heap. We then sat around in the park for a while enjoying a beautiful evening.

Running out of batteries can be a problem for older members. Here, Steph ponders where she's left the Pete Charger.

On Wednesday we had a low turnout, but six of us meant there was enough for three-a-side volleyball (which Steph’s team were champions of, staging a dramatic comeback twice in a row to enable Termy’s team to twice snatch defeat from the jaws of victory).

Greg suggested playing Side by Side Hockey, with two goals beside each other. It was another game of dramatic comebacks, as the red team fought back from several goals down to win 10-9. Chants of ‘In your face’ echoed around King’s Park.

Sticky Ball was more of a cut and dry affair, although we did introduce a new rule for three-a-side that every player on a team had to touch the ball before a goal could be scored. This forced players to think more about their own position and where to throw the ball, and ensured everyone played an active role in the game. The Mixed T-shirts beat the Silly T-shirts 3-1.

Afterwards we moved into the car park, playing basketball, where the Silly T-shirts were once again beaten by the Mixed Ts.

There is no Silly Army in King’s Park for the next two Sundays. On Sunday August 1 we will be taking part in the Mudeford Lifeboat Fun Day Raft Race in aid of the RNLI/Mudeford Life Boat. The theme is Chimp’s Tea Party and K and Mimi are busy making monkeys of themselves, or making monkey masks at least. If you’re on the team please grab some kind of eveningwear from your nearest charity shop; if you’re not on the team please come down and support us at Mudeford Quay from 11am on Sunday.

Want to look this dashing? The Department of Rather Stupid Outfits can help.

The following week Silly Army will be taking part in the Bournemouth Carnival and the theme will be Silly Sports. The Department of Rather Stupid Outfits are working on things to wear here too – let us know if there is a costume you would like and we will do our best to make it.

Games take place as usual next Wednesday and we’re on the beach on Saturday. Check the email updates and website for details.

Netting fun with the Silly Army

After a week’s break for the Pedal Kart Grand Prix, Bournemouth sports club for adults The Silly Army were keen to get back on the hallowed turf of King’s Park (before any evil planners stick a nasty ice rink on top of it).

Jolly hockey sticks.

Pete, Dave, K and Steph had been getting crafty in the past few weeks, making new uber-long netted racquets that look suspiciously like the things used to scoop poo out of swimming pools (yes, they really are called poo nets) and The Sillies spent the first couple of hours working out games to play with them.

We tried a variant of giant tennis, which resulted in several headings of the ball, and which Lee and K found easier when they abandoned the net. Then we tried a lacrosse style boys versus girls match (thanks to Kiwi Alex, Ras and Reece for becoming honorary girls to even out the numbers – we trust the surgery wasn’t too painful). This was a very experimental game, which we played for an hour and ten minutes with several different rules and methods of scoring. Ultimately it was the girls’ team who were the first to five in possibly the longest game we have ever played (our first session of Kubb not withstanding).

Though it needs work, this was a very popular game with the girls, perhaps because the large, unwieldy racquets eliminated height and speed advantage.

Sunday was a hot day so we decided to cool off with a spot of dodgeball before playing sticky ball. This was a closely contested game with a frustrating lack of sticking in the goals at one end. The yellows won the first game, the blues the second before the yellows rallied and took the match, with plenty of ‘In your face’ signals to the bluesers.

Hockey was another long slog game, with two teams that didn’t look even on paper but managed to successfully stop each other from scoring for a long time.

Pete and Ras put on a particularly impressive display for the reds while Steph and the other Alex were on form for the yellows.

This was another game that went on for a long time, the unexpected scorcher of a day taking its toll on ability to hit the ball and on tempers, which got a little frayed in the heat. However, we were all soon friends again after a break for tea and biscuits.

Next up was a game of Monkey Toss, in which Lee’s team challenged Ras’s team to find the best tossers in the Silly Army. Monkey Toss is a sneaky, stealthy game which relies on your ability to hide your monkey, evade capture and then toss your monkey off the goal line at the end.

Though it was a close call once more, it was eventually established that Lee’s team were the top tossers.

Come and mess around in the sea with us on Saturday.

After a brief spot of Big Ball Tennis we played Giant Tennis, although we kept the pitch a little shorter this time. Days as warm as Sunday were made for net games and we finished off with a spot of badminton at the high net, rotating players on and off.

A few of the Sillies stayed out playing Space Hopper Cricket, while the older members were becoming too stiff to move.

The Silly Army met again on Wednesday evening for more net games, including a lot of Big Ball Tennis and Volleyball.

Despite the red team taking a 3-1 lead at hockey, the yellow team came hurtling back to win 5-4. Sticky Ball was best not talked about from the point of view of the blue team, who were quickly and efficiently hammered by the yellows.

Alex came up with the idea of playing Tag using the whole park space, which was an excellent way of getting some running in, and of getting a stitch for some of the Sillies. We had a Slow Bike Race which Alan and Rich showed their prowess at, and Steph invented a cone picking up game tag game that the yellow team once again won – even when they went a player down.

Captain Pete and his motley crew build a vessel capable of shivering the hardest of timbers.

The Silly Army will be at the beach near Bournemouth Pier this Saturday at 12.30pm, practicing for the Mudeford Raft Race in aid of the RNLI. Come and join us for a drift along the coast, or come and play in the park this Sunday from 1pm. We will be practising for the Space Hopper 100m World Record attempt this Sunday.

Silly Army 18th in British Pedal Car Grand Prix

Handsome devils: The Silly Army's glorious pedal car team. Unfortunately there wasn't a category for Best Hats.

Congratulations to the Silly Army Pedal Car Team of Pete, Alex, Alan and Richard, who achieved an impressive 18th place finish in the British Pedal Car Grand Prix at Ringwood this Sunday. They were 18th of all cars, and 16th of the adult teams, completing 37 laps in two hours.

The boys in car 52 had been hard training for at least minutes before the race. The car, which the four had constructed over the past few months, performed well and looked great. Although heavier than some of the other entrants it was not the heaviest car in the race and all of the racers put in sterling performances.

Fueled by the athlete’s diet of doughnuts, ice cream and chocolate, the team were happy with their 18th place finish. Had the steering column not come loose, requiring a few minutes of emergency repair work, team Silly Army would have finished even further up the board.

The large contingent of Silly Supporters and monkeys who turned out to cheer the team on were very proud of the boys.

Of the team’s 18th/16th place finish, Chief Monkey said: “Enough already, where’s me medal?”

The Queen waves to loyal subjects.

Huge congratulations to Silly Army star and banner designer extraordinaire Steph, whose Squeals on Wheels team finished 9th overall and won the Ladies’ race with an impressive 41 laps.

You can read the full results list here.

England 5 Germany 3 in Silly Army World Cup

Engerland!

Germany.

Forget those over-paid flops in South Africa; never mind the debates about technology and disallowed goals. There was only one game that mattered on Sunday afternoon; that was the Silly Army Giant Football World Cup.

Mimi invented the game and came pre-prepared with a bag of papers with England or Germany written on them to ensure entirely random team selection.

Pete Couch on the ball for Engerland.

Kicking off at the same time as that other England-Germany game, the teams limbered up to play football with a giant abs ball bearing the title of a Dead Kennedys song, I Kill Children. No children were harmed during the first half, but the Germans’ spirits were quickly dented as England took the lead. Because of the size of the ball compared with the size of the nets, there were no keepers, meaning both teams had to play defensively.

The Germans equalised, before a neat move by Pete Couch was chipped in by Kayene Rooney to make it 2-1 to England. Germany equalised once more but Emile Stephski made it 3-2 before the break.

After traditional half-time refreshments of tea, lemon cake and chocolate, the ball was switched for a volleyball and keepers were introduced.

Five minutes into the game, Pete Couch was nominated to switch sides and become a German. However, Pete Mertesacker had little luck on the other side, and England had the advantage for most of the game.

C'mon Engerland!

Emile Stephski was on fire while Terminator Schweinsteiger plugged away for Germany and was rewarded with a goal. However, despite being a player down for the majority of this half, England were the better team and won the game 5-3. Stephski was named man of the match and raised the prized World Cup. We’re all expecting our call-ups to the other England squad in the very near future…

Silly Football gave us a real runaround, but for the rest of the afternoon the Silly Army played gentler games as they sweltered in exceptional temperatures. King’s Park was bathed in glorious sunlight and though we set up the pitch for hockey, we quickly decided it was too hot to play it.

After quite a lot of sitting around feeling a little lethargic (Terminator, Helen, Kathy and Pete were feeling the effects of spending a whole day playing at Dubnium the previous day) we played some net games.

Emile Stephski lifts the Silly World Cup for Engerland.

Careful volleyball was up first, similar to careful tennis, you lost a life every time you knocked the ball out. Pete is clearly the lucky charm in this game as his team won both times, despite mixing the sides up. This despite an interesting technique of catching the ball rather than volleying it… Kathy, meanwhile, attributed a slight improvement in technique to imagining the wall was someone who had pissed her off before whacking it (naming no names).

Grunting was a winning technique for Big Tennis. This is a game in which Terminator in particular excels and his team were wieners.

There was just time for a spot of knock-about badminton before the 3pm kick-off of World Cup football.

Big tennis - big balls, high net, lots of grunting.

After football there was more tea, before playing Kubb. Consulting the rules this time, we discovered not just how to spell it but also how it should be played so it didn’t go on forever.

This is a game of strategic and precision tossing, not of monkeys for once but of blocks and sticks of wood. Kathy eliminated her own team by knocking over the team in the first round, but made up for it in the second with some sticks on target.

A few of us were man enough to brave the heat for sticky ball, bibbed players taking on the non-bibbed. However, a three a side game on the hottest day of the year proved too much for the non-bibbed team of Alan, Pete and Kathy, and the bibbed brigade of Steph, Karen and Terminator duly wiped the floor with them.

Playing kubb in the sun.

There was time for some more net games as the Sillies played on into the evening. A great day of silliness was had by all, and it was one that none of us wanted to end.

The Silly Army is a Bournemouth sports club that meets every Sunday and Wednesday in King’s Park. Come along and join us!

Tactics. Deviousness. Tossing monkeys. Another Silly Army Sunday

Happy as two pigs in... What could these two possibly be building?

The Silly Army spent Saturday night on Southbourne beach, playing games, enjoying a barbecue and making some rather interesting sand sculptures. This meant many of the Bournemouth sports and games club members were a little tired come Sunday games, but because we’re all solar powered we were soon rejuvenated by the glorious day that greeted us. There was also some kind of Jehovah’s Witness convention in Dean Court, meaning that instead of ethnic music this week we were treated to hymns as we played.

Things got off to a leisurely start with a game of ‘hunt the cigarettes’ as Dave had lost his. We never found them but rumours that some higher power was smiling on us abounded after Pete discovered a rouge tenner – a nice boost to Silly Army funds.

Members were slow to arrive so we started off with some hula hooping, which Pete has clearly been practising. After we’d all swung our hips for a while, we were joined by Alex, who brought a veritable bag of goodies on his bike.

Alex assumes the position...

Not only did he have a bag of water bombs, he also came armed with a leg catapult (which looks alarmingly like surgical stirrups when put on). Alex and Duncan had soon worked out a game involving firing the water bombs with the catapult; Duncan nobly volunteered to be the target while Alex assumed the somewhat ungainly firing position to shoot bombs at him.

Once the water bombs were spent, Pete, Alex and Duncan spent much time firing missiles and balls of various shapes and sizes – the leg catapult could just prove to be a winner; the position you must assume to use it not so much.

Games proper began with Monkey Toss:Extreme, which it is quickly becoming clear is mostly an excuse to call your friends ‘useless tossers’ should they miss the target.

This is a sneaky game of tactics, deviousness and tossing monkeys, and the more we play it the more strategies are starting to emerge.  Team Dave quickly took an impressive lead as Pete’s team played and lost too many monkeys too soon. But it should never be said this team, including Kathy, Terminator, Alex and Helen, lacks tossers, and thanks to some sneakery Dick Dastardly would be proud of, Team Pete staged a comeback to ensure this was a game that mattered.

Chris and Pete stage a pump off - foot pump v hand pump. Chris had the best pump action.

Hockey was next and was a tough, long game in the heat. The yellow team were dominant for most of the game with the vast majority of action taking place in the red half. A spectacular goal keeping balls-up by Kathy didn’t help the red team’s cause, and while Esther, Pete and Duncan in particular fought a valiant game up front for the reds, the yellows took the game, with Alex and Omar in particular showing great speed and skill and an overall great team effort.

We tried dodgeball in a triangular formation, which proved interesting and over very quickly when double dodge was introduced. A few rounds of standard, circular dodge were also played to keep traditionalists happy.

Sticky ball followed and again the heat seemed to be affecting people’s shooting abilities, as there were several missed goals from usually on-target strikers. Though the teams were quite closely matched, it was the yellows’ day and they were winners.

Sticky ball in progress. The yellows were the wieners this week.

Following tea, we played combi-ball, a game where scores can quickly be reversed. The yellow team got off to a flying start, but the blues staged a spectacular comeback for a closely fought battle. The blue team eventually took the game with a neat single-point side goal courtesy of Ras.

Dave had brought along a new game called Cub, which we played next. This involves throwing sticks at your opposing team’s knights (blocks of wood) and trying to knock them down without hitting the king in the middle.

It may have helped if we had read the rules properly, as we missed a crucial point about moving forwards so the game went on for an hour and a half. However, it was very entertaining and, now we know the rules, is sure to be a Silly Army regular fixture.

Cub is our newest game.

Though it was getting late and we’d packed many of the toys away, we wanted to play on, so we put up the net and played badminton (Helen knows how to play badminton!)

Ras also developed a game of his own using the cub toys like skittles and a volley ball to knock them down then tag people with. The Silly Army always welcomes game suggestions, so if you have any ideas what we can do with our toys please let us know and we’ll try them out!

We also held an EGM to vote on an amendment to the constitution and to vote Kathy on to the committee to handle press, PR and propaganda (more fool her).

The Silly Army meets in King’s Park, Bournemouth, every Sunday from 1pm and Wednesday from 7pm. We love new members so please come and join us, or bring a friend! We’ve got loads of social events and activities planned over the summer, too.

Join the Silly Army and you can do this too.

Sun and silliness abound at Silly Army

The Silly Army were blessed with another glorious sunny Sunday for their weekly games meet. The good weather meant that the Bournemouth sports club was blessed with a record turn out of 26 players (plus a couple of spectators who came to enjoy the sunshine and watch the Sillies in action).

It was nice to see the warm weather tempting out some players who have been missing in action for a few weeks, all refreshed and ready for some Silly action. If you haven’t played with us for a while, come and say hello sometime soon – we miss you!

We kicked off with a game of volleyball, played with a softer ball for the sake of those with delicate wrists (that being all of us who remember the winter “frozen volleyball” incident). Many of us at been practising volleyball and other net games at Helen’s beach birthday party the previous day, but I am pleased to report there was no significant improvement in our skills. Pete’s team were comprehensive wieners.

Next up was hockey, where the rather dry, dusty pitch proved perilous for some players. Particular concern was caused when Terminator suffered a malfunction and was forced to withdraw from the game. Without him, the red team promptly fell to pieces – literally, in many cases, as more and more of their number limped off with bumps, twists and strains.

Luckily, none of them were serious (certainly none serious enough to warrant an injury badge) but the red team were thoroughly thrashed by the yellows. The thrashing was a long time coming, however, as all the players struggled with ball control in the heat and dust, and it was a tired bunch who lined up to play dodgeball.

Rumours that the pill ball has escaped from the trailer on the way home may indeed be true, so there was no double dodge this week. We wish the pill ball well in its new free range home.

Combi-ball followed, disproving Pete’s theory that “if you build it, they won’t come” – the belief that putting up combi-ball nets means that not many players will turn up.

This was more of an impressive battle than the hockey, as although the yellow team surged ahead in the beginning, the blues showed signs of staging a comeback. Dave’s dogged determination to score through the hoop eventually starting to pay off. However, sharp shooter Pete was on form for the yellows and they took the game.

Hot weather always brings monkeys out to play and Sunday was no exception. This meant that for the first time in 2010 we played the legendary Monkey Chase. A game of strategic thinking, fast running and monkey cuddling, the blue team, headed by Sam and Ras, proved by far the best at capturing monkeys and won the game 2-0.

Monkey chase is a long game, but it was followed by an even longer one in a seemingly never-ending sticky ball contest. The blues won the first game, only for the yellows to reply swiftly by winning the second game three balls to nil. Come the third game and the decider and the Sillies entered a sticky ball deadlock, with nobody able to score the final goal. Tea break was tantalisingly close but seemed impossible to reach, until at last the blues broke through and claimed victory.

Following the weekly dose of tea and cake we played a final net game, perhaps our biggest misnomer to date, ‘Careful Tennis’. Played with a small ball and with the threat of losing a life every time you hit a ball out, the careful element was ignored by Kathy, whose ability to hit the ball through the net is astounding – and particularly surprising for the unfortunate Dave, who copped a careful tennis ball in the face.

We were joined by a couple of passing players tempted in by our strange antics. The teams played another close game but when team Pete lost their captain due to whacking his balls too hard too often, team Dave marched on to victory – even after Helen managed to eliminate herself from the game in similar fashion, by overwhacking her balls.

The Silly Army is an alternative Bournemouth sports club for adults who want to play like kids. We meet every Sunday at 1pm and Wednesday at 7pm at King’s Park.