Snow stopping Silly Army! December games report

You could be forgiven for thinking The Silly Army sports and games club haven’t been up to much over the past few weeks due to the lack of blogging – but you’d be wrong. It’s been a busy few weeks indeed, hence the slow progress in reporting games activity. But we’ve still been out and about in the field and the YMCA Hall. Here is what we’ve been getting up to…

Sunday the 5th of December almost saw the most shocking defeat in the history of the Silly Army (even worse than the 21-0 Combi Ball fiasco) when Big Tennis came close to being a 21-0 defeat for the team featuring all three Silly Army committee members.

The ice man cometh...

Appallingly bad whacking from K, Pete and Dave (largely going backwards, sideways, upwards and indeed anywhere apart from over the net) and a few co-conspirators saw Steph’s team comprehensively wipe the floor with their opposition. The committee team did claw a few points back before skulking off with their tails between their legs to play Hockey.

There’s an unwritten rule at Silly Army that the colder the weather, the longer the Hockey match will be. That certainly played out this week as the toe-chillingly cold weather saw a very, very lengthy game indeed.

It was a well balanced game however, going to 4-4 before the red team eventually chipped the winning goal past yellow keeper K.

After a muddy, slippery game of Dodgeball, it was time for a slightly controversial game of Sticky Ball. The yellow team won the first game but the blues came back for the second. As players began to drift away, it was the blue team who kept their eyes on the ball for the final match to win 2-1.

As the light began to fade, there was just time for a game of Monkey Toss in which Alex’s team dunked the opposition.

Dave, dressed for the occasion.

Sunday 12th December saw the return of some old faces. Tim, on his apparently annual visit, fitted straight into the Big Tennis match and was soon filling in for the much missed Terminator giving Pete abuse.

Occasional guest London Dave dropped in too, but despite this combination Steph’s team won Big Tennis.

Hockey was a very close game and it was decided to play to 10 instead of 5. First the reds led 5-0 and it was decided to swap ends. The yellows came back and scored five in reply to take the score to 5-5 with all ten goals scored in the same end.

We swapped ends again and the yellows took the lead 8-6, despite Chris trying to confuse everyone by making up the score for his red team. The score went to 9-9 and the reds eventually won with an amazing goal from Tim.

Next we played Dodgeball, the yellows being all over the blues for the first game and the blues coming back for the second to take it to one a piece. But swift shooting from the yellows meant they won 2-1.

The Silly Army playing in the snow.

It’s been a long time since we played Randomiser, but that’s what we did next, bouncing a ball randomly off trampolines and the dodgeball, attempting to make the other team miss. There was much confusion as to what the actual score was after we ran out of fingers to count it on; we think Pete’s team won, but we’re really not sure.

Another game we haven’t played for a while, Space Invaders (the original version) came next. The object is to knock either one eyed or two eyed monsters, in the shape of traffic cones, off posts with a ball. The yellow team proved best at this, quickly demolishing the one-eyed monsters.

The yellow team also took victory in Tchoukball, possibly because they could see each other’s bibs better as it was getting rather dark by then.

Football in the snow.

On the 19th the ground was coated in ice and snow, but that was no deterrent to The Silly Army, who came out to play in surprising force.

Fresh snow fell as we set up, which meant  the first game of the day was snowball fighting – largely an excuse to throw snow at Dave.

We took to the pitch to play Snow Football, giving Pete the chance to demonstrate why he’s being called up for the England Squad with his spectacular open goal miss.

It was the blue team who eventually won this slippery game. After slippy Dodgeball, we played Sticky Ball, the yellows finding their ice shoes to win a comprehensive victory.

Impossiball proved a great game on ice as we skated around the pitch, the yellows again sliding their way to victory.

Impossiball on ice is rather entertaining.

Then it was time for icy Hockey, where despite freezing toes the yellow team beat the reds 5-4.

All too soon it was time to slip slide home.

The Silly Army would like to wish all our members and readers a Merry Christmas. We’ll be out to play on Boxind Day from 1pm.

Own Goals, Hard Balls And A (Monkey) Toss Off At Silly Army

It was a cold, damp and slippery King’s Park that greeted The Silly Army on Sunday afternoon, but despite the slightly overcast conditions there was a good turn-out of players enduring enjoying the crisp conditions.

Big Tennis is one of the most popular Silly Army games.

We were slightly late setting up due to some members enjoying enduring a thrilling Saturday evening sorting through the accounts in preparation for grant applications. However, many hands do light work make and  – after a random outbreak of Volleyball that was quickly tempered by hard balls – we soon had a game of Big Tennis underway, won by Team Helen.

With rapidly increasing numbers we opted to play a runaround next and went for Hockey. Despite the vast majority of the strongest Hockey Players being on the red team, this was a close fought and long match, with play being in one end for some time before switching to the other. Pete and Paul showed off excellent goal keeping skills in the red end while K took her usual position in goal for the yellows.

Jolly hockey sticks. Picture by Aleksandra Dimitrova.

After the score had been locked at 2-2 for some time, and because of increasingly limited time due to shortening days, we decided next goal would win and a brave battle ensued. The match was eventually sealed with the reds taking victory, thanks to a lovely blooper of an own goal from yellow dynamo Nick.

Following a spot of Double Dodgeball in a strangely shaped circle, where even Giles’s flexibility couldn’t save him in the slippery conditions, we played Combi Ball.

Because two balls are better than one. Particularly when they're both purple, and one is sausage shaped. Picture by Aleksandra Dimitrova.

Pete, remembering being on the losing side with the embarrassing score of zero last time we played this game, was determined to save some face this week and opened up the scoring with a nicely kicked goal for the blues. The yellow team made much better use of the field, however, and were better at finding space to quickly take the lead.

This wasn’t good enough for yellow player Helen, however, who bemoaned the scoring of an easy one pointer when she wanted to go for big points, much to the amusement of her own team. The old adage ‘every little helps’ clearly wasn’t on her mind!

The blues did a very good job of catching up, but it was the yellow team who got a deserved victory thanks to some sharp shooting. At least Pete and the rest of the bluesers could trudge off without egg on their faces, however, as they had played well, though they did have mud on their trousers due to lots of falling over (a Silly Army art form unto itself).

Sticky Ball looked like being a bit of an embarrassing defeat when the yellows shot out of the stocks and instantly scored three to take the first game. However, the blues battled back in the second game and for a long time nobody seemed to be able to get a ball on the board despite good play from both teams. K eventually opened the scoring for the blues on second attempt, but it was the yellow team who won this game too.

Loopy Lobbing, the game of throwing circular discs at each other, was next and top marks must go to Tori for her ‘Throw all and be damned’ method – which worked rather well! Helen and Alex also showed great skill at this game.

Team captains Tori and Viv got to chose who they thought were the best tossers in The Silly Army. A difficult choice indeed! Picture by Steph Mills.

Viv requested a tea break, but sadly our great Treasurer has vetoed tea for the time being, so we moved on to Monkey Toss. Tori and Viv were crowned team captains and the cringe-producing team picking method was employed.

Both girls picked well and, despite some off tossing from some of our top tossers to begin with, though Tori’s team took the lead Viv’s team forced a draw. That meant only one thing: it was time for a Toss Off.

Picking the windy end of the park (obviously) five tossers from each team lined up to chuck their mustard monkeys. However, Helen’s toss went horribly wrong and the resulting score was 5-4 to Tori’s team.

Shock of the game still has to be K managing to outrun Giles.

There was just enough time for another game of Big Tennis, during which Pete abandoned his team to join ‘Pedal Car’ Alan and Richard in Bike Club. But the neglected team of Viv, Giles and K proved they didn’t need their esteemed leader after all and won the game.

Silly Army games will be taking place tomorrow (Wednesday) in the YMCA, Westover Road, from 7pm – come and join us, it’s warm and great exercise!

There will also be regular Silly Army Sunday Games in King’s Park from 1pm this Sunday. Come along and toss monkeys – you know it makes sense.

Chilly Army – Playing out until after dark

The Silly Army Flag - we sallute you (and Steph, who made you!) Picture: AD

The Silly Army beat reports of heavy rain and enjoyed another gloriously sunny, if rather chilly, day of games in King’s Park on November 7.

We started with Big Tennis, the lengthening grass in our little corner of the park adding further ambiguous bounces to the already unpredictable ball, and prompting the call from Matt for ‘a goat and a steam roller’. Unfortunately, nobody had remembered to pack either of these items, so a challenging game ensued. Strangely, the blinding sun in players’ eyes proved to be an advantage, as it was the team on the sunny side of the pitch that won both games. Steph’s team comfortably won the first game, while Dave’s enjoyed a similarly resounding victory in the second.

First up on the big pitch was Combi Ball, although we almost forgot to set up the side goals. The blue team were soon wishing that we had forgotten to play the game entirely as the most embarrassing defeat of Silly Army ensued. The yellows were all over the blues and won 20-0 thanks to some sharp shooting from Ras, Steph and Tori among others, and a particularly fine football goal from Dave. The blue team, meanwhile, were prompted by their leader Pete to try to get at least one point on the board – and promptly failed in that mission. Well done, yellow team, on earning your place in the Silly History Books.

Ras is one of the top scorers at Combi Ball. Picture: AD

Next up was Dodgeball, which rapidly evolved into Double Dodge despite lower numbers than in recent weeks. After that we played Hockey, which was well battled and evenly matched with a decent amount of play at both ends of the pitch. Dave’s idea of starting from the centre after a goal also meant there was more even play. In the end it was the yellows who won, but the game was close.

The committee have been thinking (shock, horror!) that it would be a good idea to try out a wider variety of games. So it was that Steph’s Teapot It was played. Two players are linked like a teapot – one the handle, one the spout, while a cat chases a mouse around the pitch. The mouse links on to a handle and the spout has to run off – sounds simple, but confused the whole of the Silly Army good and proper. Once we got the hang of it it was a great game, however, despite looking from a distance like some kind of messed up speed dating event…

Pete forgets the high stick rule in hockey. Picture: AD

After a brief tea stop, Sticky Ball came next and was a very long match – it seemed impossible for either team to score and it may be time to replace the sticky goals. Particular kudos must go to the blue team’s Rob and Pete, who were so busy trying to prove the goal at their end wasn’t sticky that they were still testing it as the yellows scored at their end! Also to K of the blues who realised too late it’s not easy to catch a ball with your shades in your hand.

Because of time and light constraints, and the fact the blue team once again failed miserably to score, we only played one game of Sticky Ball this week and the yellows won 3 balls to 0.

Another new game came next, or rather an old game resurrected. Loopy Lobbing proves how committed the Silly Army are to recycling, making use as it does of the old discs that surrounded sticky pads gone to that great Sticky Ball pitch in the sky.

Each player is armed with three discs and the objective is to knock out other players by lobbing discs at them, without getting hit yourself. The result was something of a quickfire massacre. Ras’s technique of mass lobbing worked rather well, while Pete learned the hard way that there are no friends in Loopy Lobbing after an ill-advised union with Dave resulted in his untimely demise.

Balls! Picture: AD

After that there was still enough light and energy to play a couple more games. We opted for Impossiball, and the blue team finally found there forte, scoring three goals without answer. The yellows got two back but the blues scored two more for a well deserved victory.

Monkey Toss was the last game of the day and was a true walkover as Pete’s team went on the offensive and scored victory in just three runs – clearly, these guys have been practising their tossing.

The Silly Army meets every Sunday in King’s Park from 1pm, and every Wednesday in the YMCA on Westover

Impossiball involves large, unwieldy nets and a flighty ball. Picture: KI

Road, Bournemouth, from 7pm. Come and join us!

Picture credits: AD – Aleksandra Dimitrova; KI – Kaye Inglis

The Silly Army October 24 and 31

The Silly Army has had a busy few weeks, hence the slight lack of blogging activity. Here’s a quick round-up of the last two Sunday games sessions in October.

Two great minds prepare for battle on the hockey pitch... Picture by AD

Glorious Autumnal sunshine has boosted turnout in the last two weeks of October as many people have been out enjoying being chilly and Silly in the sun-blessed King’s Park.

Sunday October 23 saw a record turnout of 29 players, sending ledger keeper Pete into overdrive with his charts and statistics (yes, he really does keep them). It’s great to see so many people out enjoying the sunshine and the silliness.

As usual we started proceedings with a game of Big Tennis as Sillies gathered, but rapidly increasing numbers meant it was quickly time to play a runaround. It was also excellent that so many new members and recent recruits turned up to play.

There's no more beautiful sight than a man and his monkey... Picture: AD

We began with Sticky Ball, the yellow team playing most fluidly and working best as a team to win the first two games.

Dodgeball followed before we moved on to hockey. Here the red team suffered a bit of a massacre, red goalie K not on the ball at all, letting five in in succession for the team to be soundly beaten.

Next we played Combi Ball, which was a much closer affair and a hard-fought battle, the yellow team eventually claiming victory despite a brave battle by the blues.

Confusion abounded for everybody next with Crumbs & Crows, the chasing game. Doozer the monkey, who had turned up hoping for some Monkey Chase, took part in the game, helping Raz with his running and Pete with calling. Perhaps Doozer had more of an idea of what was going on in the game, as most of the Sillies remained entirely confused throughout (and ran in the wrong direction!)

The reds concede a goal in hockey. Picture: AD

Tchouckball was up next after tea break and the yellow team again took victory, covering more of the pitch most efficiently while the blue team relied on just a couple of players.

Then it was time for Double Netball and here the teams were far more evenly matched, the yellow team only just snaring victory.

Monkey Toss was the last game proper of the game and was another close call, this time Pete’s team clinching the win.

Lisa makes a pass during Combi Ball. Picture: AD

As numbers began to dwindle, the final game of the day involved experimenting with large hoops Pete and Dave had made during the week, with an outline game design involving running through them dribbling (dribbling a ball, not just dribbling, although the old men of the club are rather good at that!) After realising that when a team got possession, as the yellows did, it was pretty much impossible to get the ball back from them, the confused blue team decided this was a game in need of more work!

October 31 was another sunny Sunday and after Big Tennis we played Hockey. This was a very long and very evenly matched game: with the scores at 4-4 it was the red team who managed to shoot that all important point to win the match.

A battle ensues as the yellow team defend against the blues.

Sticky Ball followed Double Dodge and was similarly drawn out and even, with both teams finding it very difficult to score despite some good moves. The yellow team won the first match and the blues the second, at which point we decided it was time to opt for a draw – a very unusual occurrence in Silly Army!

Next up was netball and here the yellow team excelled to win comfortably. New players Mike and Paul got thoroughly stuck in to the game and the girls on the yellow team played well together to clinch victory.

After tea we tried Giant Football (football with the dodgeball) which is very difficult to control, particularly in the ubiquitous King’s Park wind, leading to the ball blowing all over the pitch. In the end this became a ‘first goal wins’ game, the yellow team scoring.

A Monkey Toss Action Shot. Now that's not something you see every day... Picture: AD

Monkey Toss was the final game of the day, complete with a humiliating school style team picking. Pete proved that not only is he a top tosser, he can spot a tosser at ten paces as he chose the winning side, comfortably beating Dave’s troop.

Top tosser. Picture: AD

The Silly Army meets in King’s Park every Sunday from 1pm and plays such silly games as these. Come along and join us!

More Silly Army pictures from October 24 and 31:

Alex the poser defends the yellow goal. Picture: AD

Games on Hallowe'en can have interesting results... Picture: SM

Dodgy geezers never break their pose, no matter what happens. Picture: SM

We welcomed a new member, Paul, and could tell he would fit in straight away. Pic: SM

Sam is confident of victory. Picture: SM

Picture Credits: AD – Aleksandra Dimitrova; SM – Steph Mills

Another sunny Sunday Silly session!

The Silly Army last Sunday.

Despite being described by some nay-sayers at Bournemouth Council as an “underused resource”, King’s Park was again busy on Sunday afternoon as footballers, cyclists, dog walkers, families and runners made the best of the gloriously crisp, sunny day to enjoy the benefits of spending time in green space.

Big Tennis - by far the best way to start a Sunday afternoon in King's Park.

In their new spot in the far corner, The Silly Army were of course out in force, and it was super to see lots of new players as well as many familiar faces. Welcome, Alex, Nick, Matt, Sue and Visiting John – we hope you’ll come and play with us some more!

As has become a tradition with Silly Army, we started our park games session with a game of Big Tennis. The new players all took to this game surprisingly well, quickly showing some of the old hands how it should be done. Due to various late night games, drinking sessions and emergency 1am peppermint tea deliveries, some of the old guard were a little off the ball, and the ball itself was quite frequently off the court as we whacked it here, there and everywhere. However, some good rallies were eventually had, and Karen’s team were the most alert to claim a deserved victory.

Dave proves he has the legs for a netball skirt.

First up on the big pitch was Double Netball, a recently invented game with two very high, very small netball hoops in which you have to toss your balls.

This is a fast game that soon had everybody warmed up in the chilly air. This is a game where the girls tend to excel – Helen in particular an excellent shooter – but the boys proved they were just as comfortable in netball skirts (well, according to what we’ve heard about some of them…) and a tight, frantic game ensued, eventually won by the blue team.

While Dave organised a game of dodgeball, Mrs Doyle’s tea shop opened early – but not for the usual reason of a well-earned tea break. Oh no, the next game was one that hadn’t been played for a while and was new to many of the more recent Silly Army members.

English Football is truly the Beautiful Game. It’s played the way football was intended to be played – with a cup of tea, a saucer and a strategically placed biscuit. The object of the game is to score standard football goals, without spilling your tea or getting a soggy biscuit. Cue lots of mincing as players attempt to keep up with the ball without losing any of the precious brown stuff.

Viv was spectacularly fouled as the ball knocked her cup and saucer clean out of her hand, while Pete played by the book and gained some advantages – drinking his tea, getting a refill and eating not just his own but other team members’ biscuits.

English Football also requires that each player carries an Excuse Me card, which can be presented once to an opposition player, who must oblige by stepping aside. However, not many of the Sillies played this card to their advantage, too focused on keeping their saucers clean. Despite having tea junkies Pete and K on their team, the blue team lost out to the yellows.

There's something wrong with this football game... That's right, everyone needs a nice cup of tea!

Tea was not required for an evenly matched game of hockey, where K’s late night peppermint antics saw her being not particularly on form in the yellow goal. Both the red and yellow strike forces were on good form, though, and K eventually woke up enough to defend in golden goal time by kneeling on the ball, not in the slightest intimidated by Pete’s (joking?!) threat to put leg and ball in the goal. The yellow team struck gold soon after and won the game.

Sticky Ball came next and was again quite evenly matched. The yellows got off to a great start but it was the blues who played better and won the game.

After tea break proper, we played Tchoukball and here the yellow team started off playing far better. Steph, Karen and Paul are among the best players at this game and all were on target. The blues soon picked things up and began to catch up, but this was another yellow victory.

Despite being pursued by two giant shadows, Helen is not distracted during Impossiball.

Next up was another game we hadn’t played for a while, Impossiball. This is a lacrosse style game with home-made racquets that make the transition of the ball somewhat difficult to control. New girl Alex adopted a particularly entertaining method of moving the ball – dragging it behind her along the ground inside the racquet. This proved a rather effective target, and she proved a sharp shooter – scoring an excellent through the hoop goal (worth two points). Yellows however scored the winning goal.

There was time for some tossing with a tense Monkey Toss match, blessedly free of wind this week, which meant the flying monkeys flew better. This was another very close game and it all came down to the last toss. K proved that tossing monkeys is one of her few sporting talents, thus crowning Pete’s team Top Tossers and negating the need for a toss off.

Impossiball by name...

More big tennis was played to round the day off and at 6.30pm it was time to trundle home before it got dark.

On Wednesday a selection of Sillies enjoyed more indoor games at the YMCA. A newly designed missile game was followed by Unreal Tennis, involving the ball bouncing off the walls (and also involving quite a lot of ducking as the ball moves rather fast).

We also played Bouncing Volleyball, and Netball where the green team won comfortably – Helen proving once again what an excellent shot she is. Pete meanwhile proved his girlie credentials by tying with Tori as the best shooter for the red team.

The Silly Army hope a giant ice rink doesn't land on their heads.

The Silly Army will be meeting in King’s Park again from 1pm this Sunday. We will be playing Randomiser, Big Tennis, Combi Ball, Cladwhacking, Hockey, Budge, Monkey Toss and other games – come along and join us.

Apologies for the lack of blog activity last week. The Silly Army committee has been extremely hard at work organising paperwork, fighting the ice rink plans and planning a series of activities to ensure winter is far from boring – including The Silly Army Christmas Party (yay!). Details will follow in Dave’s mailout shortly.

Alex provided a great news write-up of his first experience of Wednesday games. Read it here.

 

 

 

Pete and Dave look quite the happy newlyweds in this shot, and all their friends look happy for them. All except Alan, who is clearly coveting Karen's cup of tea.

Silly Army: Return of the Machine (and Cladwhacking)

It was an historic day indeed for The Silly Army last Sunday as we saw the return of two top players who’d been missing for some weeks. Helen, aka the Score Machine, had recovered enough from her Volleyball injury to rejoin the troops for some games, and it just so happened she turned up in the middle of her specialist game, StickyBall.

Two machines: one game - StickyBall.

We also welcomed back Ras, who had been out of the country for the last month. Dodgeball just isn’t the same without his hopping, skipping and impossible dodging. It was also great to see Tori, Viv and Rob, some of our newest recruits, back for some more punishment fun; even better they had brought more new members with them.

This was probably just as well as some of the longer serving members were flagging. Barry was somewhat worse for wear after a day and night on the lager, while Chris was feeling so poorly he barely played at all. The Silly Flu also seemed to be plaguing some of the members, with K and Dave coughing and spluttering their way through the afternoon.

As is the way these days, we began with Big Tennis. The wind is certainly an advantage, or disadvantage depending on what side of the net you’re standing on, in our new court – as is the fact Pete can’t lay out an even sized court if you gave him a measuring tape. One side is always bigger than the other.

Terminator suggested swapping ends of the pitch halfway through, which certainly helped even out the scoring, but for the second week in a row we ended on one game each.

Big Tennis is The Silly Army's most popular game.

With fresh legs arriving we played Hockey, and snot-nosed K was given a real workout in the red goal. The yellow team were by far the stronger on paper, but the reds battled hard, Mike, Greg and Pete proving nifty players despite Greg being repeatedly de-sticked. Terminator, Ras and Steph were on fire for the yellows, however, and despite a valiant battle by the reds it was the yellows who won the match.

After some Dodgeball it was time for StickyBall, and the game had just got underway when the Machine turned up to lend her talents to the blue team. The fact half the blues were distracted by chatting while the yellows scored three goals in succession didn’t help the blue campaign, and the yellows seized the game quickly.

It was time for a very special tea and cake break as Mrs Doyle’s tea shop was this week accompanied by Dave’s Fantastic Bakery – a chocolate cake whipped up for Karl and Richard’s birthdays. We also had some vegan cupcakes from Mrs Doyle, so it was a very full Silly Army that took to the pitch to play CombiBall when tea break was over.

A belly full of tea and cake does not particularly complement running around chasing balls, and the greedy bunch on the blue team were soon feeling the effects of their halftime binge, the yellows with super-scoring Ras and Dave going quickly ahead.

However, the blues began to fight back with some great shooting by the Machine and impressive football goals from K and newbie Emma. The most impressive goal of the day has to be shared, however: Jez managed to boot the ball all the way from his own half into the open goal. Moments later, proving that anything a man can do a girl can do better, Steph did the same from further up the pitch. The blues were back in the game.

Sadly, despite these super shots, it was not enough to outsmart the yellow team, who won comfortably with a high goal.

How to play Tchouckball. Sort of.

A quick game of Splat enabled everyone to cool down before another old friend returned in the shape of Cladwhacking. This is a game that divides the Silly Army – you either love it or hate it. But many of the newer members gave it a go and got stuck in whacking each other with foam tubes. This time, it was the blues who were victorious.

Monkey Toss was next, again popular with those who hadn’t played it before, and becoming a real old favourite. Ras’s taunting monkey waving always entertains, and some clever diversion techniques by Pete’s team meant they were the top tossers.

Up for more running around, we played Tchouckball, a tough game as numbers were starting to drop off. The yellow team proved most successful at working the pitch, with particular skill from Terminator.

Once again we wrapped up with more Big Tennis before heading home for dinner.

The Silly Army meets every Sunday in King’s Park from 1pm. Come and join us!

Silly Army compact

Alex gives the ball a good whack - trying to avoid the trees this time.

With the football season now well underway and the Boscombe Community Fair pulling in the punters, the Silly Army found themselves pressed for space in King’s Park last Sunday. However, there’s nothing the Sillies like more than a challenge and it was up to Pete, Dave and K to rapidly adapt their gameplan to fit the space available. Let’s just hope some of the doom mongers who deem King’s Park an ‘under-used space’ were out to see just how many people were out enjoying the park and the sunshine this weekend…

So it was that the Silly Army set up their games along the narrow edge of the park, beneath the trees. After laying out a long, thin hockey pitch there was a great new game for one of the members – Dog Egg Hunt. All the fun of an Easter egg hunt with less chocolate and more dog toffee, which was lovingly gathered using plastic bags and disposable gloves and deposited in the bin to ensure none of the players had an unpleasant, stinky experience. Dog owners of King’s Park take note: it really is that easy, not to mention much more fun if you clean up after your own dog. It certainly drew some curious looks from new members to be welcomed by a woman with a plastic bag of dog’s eggs.

As is rapidly becoming a Silly Army tradition, first game proper was Big Tennis. With Score Machine Helen sidelined for a few weeks, nobody was sure how we’d keep the score and there was the fear that we could just keep playing forever. However, between them and on opposing teams for fairness, K and Pete established that they could, just about, count to 21 (if they used all their fingers and one of their toes).

But early on it seemed we might not be scoring at all as a predictably vicious Terminator serve was thwarted by the location when the big tennis ball got stuck up a tree.

Cue another new game – Racquet Toss. The whole of the Silly Army lined up and threw their racquets towards the branches in the hope that the nice tree would give us our ball back. But the tree was not quick to bear fruit, and Barry further complicated matters when his racquet got stuck in the branches too.

Pete prepares one of his killer chip shots.

Eventually, in a hail of racquets, both ball and racquet were detatched and the game could continue. Pete’s team won one game and K’s the other before they abandoned counting and moved on to play hockey.

More members were joining now and hockey was proving interesting on a long, narrow pitch. Often there would be an invasion of footballers getting their ball back; just as frequently we had to retrieve our ball from their pitch.

A long game ensued as the ball frequently went out of play. However Pete’s team took the lead and it was decided halfway through to switch ends, as Terminator’s team were constantly playing uphill. Despite the change of ends it was Pete’s team who hammered more balls home to be the first to five.

After some Dodgeball, where many of our new members proved very adept at dodging, it was time to play Sticky Ball, again using the long, narrow pitch. Again a lot of the newcomers proved natural and again we missed Helen, Sticky Ball top scorer.

This was another long game and for once ended in an amicable draw, yellows winning the first game and blues the second. Then it was decided to break for tea.

Refreshed, the Sillies were able to spread out later in the afternoon and play Combi-Ball, which has been a missing fixture for some time. Dave, Pete and Termy are among the best scorers at this game and new members Mike and Harry showed some great football skills.

The blue team started slowly but were able to launch a bit of a comeback mission; however, the yellows took a comfortable victory.

Richard found the whole Tchoukball match fascinating!

Another game that’s been missing from our repetoire for a while is Tchoukball and that made a comeback next, both the blues and yellows playing equally well, although many of the old faithful had forgotten the rules. Without having exclusion zones the game was a little harder than many remembered, but it was tightly played and taken quickly to 4-4. As we were playing to five points everyone battled for the last goal and Chris excelled for the blue team to claim victory.

Following another brief tea stop, where Karl, Colin, Barry and K attempted to battle the wind and play frisbee, it was time for old favourite Monkey Toss. Steph, who had joined us late, is one of the best at this game and it was her team that got the most monkeys on the board.

There was time for a little more Big Tennis before it was time to pack up and head home for another week.

It was great to see so many new faces joining us; we hope you’ll come back for more!

This Saturday, a Silly Army delegation will be at Fit Christchurch hosting the attempt to break the Guinness World Record for 100m on a space hopper. We will be at The Quomps on Christchurch Quay from 10am to 4pm – come along and join us and give the record a go yourself.

On Sunday we will be back in the park for regular Silly Army games. We will be a little further over the field this time – past the football pitches, which have fixtures all season. Come along and join us from 1pm.

Tennis shots (C) Karen

Silly Army 15 August

Better late than never… The Silly Army enjoyed another sunblushed games session on Sunday 15 August, tempered by the fact that nobody remembered to bring the tea.

Big Tennis has proved the success story of the summer, becoming just about everyone’s favourite game. It just goes to show how much fun can be had with a high net, old tennis racquets and some giant yellow balls. Popular on Wednesday nights, the game is becoming increasingly prevalent on Sundays too, often being played at the start and end of Silly Army sessions.

So it was with Big Tennis we kicked off (or batted off? Whacked off?!) on Sunday 15 August. Whether it’s the passing, the large balls or the grunting that makes this game quite so popular nobody knows, although it’s suspected to be a combination of all three. There is certainly nothing else so guaranteed to send Helen into fits of hysterics, and nowhere else Chris would get away with shouting “Show us your grunt!”

Three games in and it was Pete’s team who proved the most adept at handling the big balls.

As it was hot and sunny, the silliest thing to do would be to run around. So that’s exactly what we did, with a hard-fought (some might say finger-breaking…) game of Hockey. The red and yellow teams were quite evenly matched but Karen B’s technique of limping around by the red goal, distracting the goalie then whacking in shots, proved rather effective – rather more effective than Reece shooting into his own goal for the reds! So it was the yellows that were the first to ten points and thus the wieners of the week.

Dodgeball was up next and despite the wind the Sillies played so hard they burst the dodgeball – another successful ‘cleaning out the garage’ mission complete. Someone should really start checking the length of Pete’s fingernails.

An old favourite, Sticky Ball, followed and the blue team continued its impressive losing streak. The amazing comback from being 2-0 down to win 3-2 was clearly just a glitch in the otherwise well-oiled Bluesers machine. With Sticky Ball pros such as Steph and Helen against you, it’s always going to be a tough game.

Next up it was time to get the strange new bats out, lovingly crafted from pipe and netting by Dave, Pete, Steph and K and quickly destroyed by the Sillies’ vigorous play. The game, of course, was Impossiball, which few people understand and fewer seem able to score at. Still, the unpredictability of where the ball will go (if you can even pick it up) and the crazy runaround nature of the game is exactly what Silly Army is about and we had much fun not scoring.

Particular kudos goes to Terminator, who was playing with the prototype larger netted bat, and managed to catch the ball between two bits of netting. The natural decision of how to proceed was to whack the ball out again.

This was a game where the blues, eventually, excelled, and we’ve managed to get a few rules nailed at last to make Impossiball a little more playable.

A question on many of our lips most of the time: Who are the best tossers in Silly Army? The strategic challenge and monkey chucking game Monkey Toss was up next and this week it was proved to be Dave’s team who were Top Tossers, despite Pete’s team acquiring an extra player midway through the match. At least most of Dave’s team’s success has to be attributed to the fact that, with Karen B carrying an injury, we decided that instead of running in this game we’d mince. Despite Pete’s best efforts as a Benny Hill body double, Dave’s mincing excelled all previously set standards and so it was his team claimed victory.

Dave was on a winning streak and, after some painfully misplaced sticks (naming no names except Terminator) Team Dave captured the castle and won Kubb too.

There was time for some Bouncing Volleyball, although by now K’s broken finger was making its presence felt. With double injuries for K and Karen B, it was no surprise that Pete’s team won.

All too soon it was time to pack up and go home/to A&E for another week.

The following Wednesday session saw the best turnout of players all summer. Let’s hope the weather and shortening days allow us a few more midweek games sessions before autumn truly sets in.

Come and join The Silly Army in King’s Park from 1pm this Sunday. Click here for directions.

Seven hours Silly – Silly Army keep it up for seven hours

“You know, we’ve been playing for seven hours,” remarked Lee at the end of another mammoth Silly Army sports and games session on Sunday. Indeed we had and it just goes to show, even in sweltering temperatures, Silly Army men and ladies can keep it up for seven hours – now that’s stamina.

Sunday was a scorcher and a day for net games.

Because it was another very hot day, the Sillies opted to play a lot of net games. We also spent a lot of time squirting each other with water pistols – very refreshing!

But we started with the trampette game invented by Mimi, K and Pete a few weeks ago, involving a dodgeball trapped between two trampettes, with the object being to bounce a ball off either the trampettes or the dodgeball so the team on the opposite side can’t catch it.

The unpredictability of the bounce from the dodgeball adds great entertainment value as the ball frequently bounces over the head of the player throwing it – which Alex learned to his cost.

Dave and Pete’s team took a clear lead while Alex and Lee learned how to control their balls, but eventually their team battled back. Mike’s mere presence on the pitch spurred them on to victory.

Next we limbered up to the big net. Volleyball and Big Tennis were the order of the day, with the Dave-Pete-Lee triangle proving a successful position.

When at last we decided to brave the heat and play a runaround game, it was suggested that we picked teams for hockey the way it was done in school. Because he suggested it, Lee was naturally left on the bench until last.

Terminator’s red team contained a lot of the better hockey players, including Steph and Pete. However, everyone’s game was heat-affected, and it was Alex’s yellow team who won the match.

The yellow and blue bibs had been eschewed by giant reds and greens this week, which cause a moral dilemma for ‘I’m always yellow’ Terminator. Despite the fact he had to be red, Termy’s team were still winners at Sticky Ball.

It was time to break for tea and us tea lovers were delighted that Mrs Doyle’s kitchen now contained a third flask, meaning there was ample to go around. Giles, the man with endless energy, literally skipped tea break by skipping through it.

Tead up, caked up we played some more Big Tennis while the pitch was set up for tchoukball.

Tchouckball: it's not as scary as it looks.

Tchoukball made a welcome return after some weeks’ absence. We had to go over the rules again as many of the group hadn’t played before.

Tchouk involves bouncing an odd shaped ball off a trampette for another member of your team to catch. Again, the bounce of the ball can be deceptive, which makes this game quite challenging.

The red team got off to a flying start but the greens started to catch up as they got a better grasp of the game and K made a series of good interceptions.

The closest game of the day was Monkey Toss. Pete’s team nearly peaked too soon by carrying too many monkeys too early; Giles’s team even had to do two runs in a row at one point. However, their tossing let them down and they underestimated the cunningness of The Silly Army’s very own Dick Dastardly and his team.

We're a bunch of (monkey) tossers.

Once Team Pete had some monkeys back, their superior tossing ability meant a draw was forced. There was only one thing to do: toss off!

Pete’s team got more on the board and earned the coveted title of Top Tossers.

A rotating tennis game led to much confusion and an eventual pitch invasion, where more Big Tennis was played.

We broke again for tea and then tried a missile game, Missile Attack. With tennis balls on top of cones we lobbed missiles at each other with gay abandon. Pete’s team led until Termy’s team called for a change of course due to wind advantage.

Space hopper cricket came next, with Terminator, Giles, Steph and Spencer recording scores while the rest of us went out for nothing.

More net games were played into the evening, with Long Tennis making an appearance after we had packed up the court, and we played on until pensioners Pete and Dave collapsed in a heap. We then sat around in the park for a while enjoying a beautiful evening.

Running out of batteries can be a problem for older members. Here, Steph ponders where she's left the Pete Charger.

On Wednesday we had a low turnout, but six of us meant there was enough for three-a-side volleyball (which Steph’s team were champions of, staging a dramatic comeback twice in a row to enable Termy’s team to twice snatch defeat from the jaws of victory).

Greg suggested playing Side by Side Hockey, with two goals beside each other. It was another game of dramatic comebacks, as the red team fought back from several goals down to win 10-9. Chants of ‘In your face’ echoed around King’s Park.

Sticky Ball was more of a cut and dry affair, although we did introduce a new rule for three-a-side that every player on a team had to touch the ball before a goal could be scored. This forced players to think more about their own position and where to throw the ball, and ensured everyone played an active role in the game. The Mixed T-shirts beat the Silly T-shirts 3-1.

Afterwards we moved into the car park, playing basketball, where the Silly T-shirts were once again beaten by the Mixed Ts.

There is no Silly Army in King’s Park for the next two Sundays. On Sunday August 1 we will be taking part in the Mudeford Lifeboat Fun Day Raft Race in aid of the RNLI/Mudeford Life Boat. The theme is Chimp’s Tea Party and K and Mimi are busy making monkeys of themselves, or making monkey masks at least. If you’re on the team please grab some kind of eveningwear from your nearest charity shop; if you’re not on the team please come down and support us at Mudeford Quay from 11am on Sunday.

Want to look this dashing? The Department of Rather Stupid Outfits can help.

The following week Silly Army will be taking part in the Bournemouth Carnival and the theme will be Silly Sports. The Department of Rather Stupid Outfits are working on things to wear here too – let us know if there is a costume you would like and we will do our best to make it.

Games take place as usual next Wednesday and we’re on the beach on Saturday. Check the email updates and website for details.

Netting fun with the Silly Army

After a week’s break for the Pedal Kart Grand Prix, Bournemouth sports club for adults The Silly Army were keen to get back on the hallowed turf of King’s Park (before any evil planners stick a nasty ice rink on top of it).

Jolly hockey sticks.

Pete, Dave, K and Steph had been getting crafty in the past few weeks, making new uber-long netted racquets that look suspiciously like the things used to scoop poo out of swimming pools (yes, they really are called poo nets) and The Sillies spent the first couple of hours working out games to play with them.

We tried a variant of giant tennis, which resulted in several headings of the ball, and which Lee and K found easier when they abandoned the net. Then we tried a lacrosse style boys versus girls match (thanks to Kiwi Alex, Ras and Reece for becoming honorary girls to even out the numbers – we trust the surgery wasn’t too painful). This was a very experimental game, which we played for an hour and ten minutes with several different rules and methods of scoring. Ultimately it was the girls’ team who were the first to five in possibly the longest game we have ever played (our first session of Kubb not withstanding).

Though it needs work, this was a very popular game with the girls, perhaps because the large, unwieldy racquets eliminated height and speed advantage.

Sunday was a hot day so we decided to cool off with a spot of dodgeball before playing sticky ball. This was a closely contested game with a frustrating lack of sticking in the goals at one end. The yellows won the first game, the blues the second before the yellows rallied and took the match, with plenty of ‘In your face’ signals to the bluesers.

Hockey was another long slog game, with two teams that didn’t look even on paper but managed to successfully stop each other from scoring for a long time.

Pete and Ras put on a particularly impressive display for the reds while Steph and the other Alex were on form for the yellows.

This was another game that went on for a long time, the unexpected scorcher of a day taking its toll on ability to hit the ball and on tempers, which got a little frayed in the heat. However, we were all soon friends again after a break for tea and biscuits.

Next up was a game of Monkey Toss, in which Lee’s team challenged Ras’s team to find the best tossers in the Silly Army. Monkey Toss is a sneaky, stealthy game which relies on your ability to hide your monkey, evade capture and then toss your monkey off the goal line at the end.

Though it was a close call once more, it was eventually established that Lee’s team were the top tossers.

Come and mess around in the sea with us on Saturday.

After a brief spot of Big Ball Tennis we played Giant Tennis, although we kept the pitch a little shorter this time. Days as warm as Sunday were made for net games and we finished off with a spot of badminton at the high net, rotating players on and off.

A few of the Sillies stayed out playing Space Hopper Cricket, while the older members were becoming too stiff to move.

The Silly Army met again on Wednesday evening for more net games, including a lot of Big Ball Tennis and Volleyball.

Despite the red team taking a 3-1 lead at hockey, the yellow team came hurtling back to win 5-4. Sticky Ball was best not talked about from the point of view of the blue team, who were quickly and efficiently hammered by the yellows.

Alex came up with the idea of playing Tag using the whole park space, which was an excellent way of getting some running in, and of getting a stitch for some of the Sillies. We had a Slow Bike Race which Alan and Rich showed their prowess at, and Steph invented a cone picking up game tag game that the yellow team once again won – even when they went a player down.

Captain Pete and his motley crew build a vessel capable of shivering the hardest of timbers.

The Silly Army will be at the beach near Bournemouth Pier this Saturday at 12.30pm, practicing for the Mudeford Raft Race in aid of the RNLI. Come and join us for a drift along the coast, or come and play in the park this Sunday from 1pm. We will be practising for the Space Hopper 100m World Record attempt this Sunday.