Another sunny Sunday Silly session!

The Silly Army last Sunday.

Despite being described by some nay-sayers at Bournemouth Council as an “underused resource”, King’s Park was again busy on Sunday afternoon as footballers, cyclists, dog walkers, families and runners made the best of the gloriously crisp, sunny day to enjoy the benefits of spending time in green space.

Big Tennis - by far the best way to start a Sunday afternoon in King's Park.

In their new spot in the far corner, The Silly Army were of course out in force, and it was super to see lots of new players as well as many familiar faces. Welcome, Alex, Nick, Matt, Sue and Visiting John – we hope you’ll come and play with us some more!

As has become a tradition with Silly Army, we started our park games session with a game of Big Tennis. The new players all took to this game surprisingly well, quickly showing some of the old hands how it should be done. Due to various late night games, drinking sessions and emergency 1am peppermint tea deliveries, some of the old guard were a little off the ball, and the ball itself was quite frequently off the court as we whacked it here, there and everywhere. However, some good rallies were eventually had, and Karen’s team were the most alert to claim a deserved victory.

Dave proves he has the legs for a netball skirt.

First up on the big pitch was Double Netball, a recently invented game with two very high, very small netball hoops in which you have to toss your balls.

This is a fast game that soon had everybody warmed up in the chilly air. This is a game where the girls tend to excel – Helen in particular an excellent shooter – but the boys proved they were just as comfortable in netball skirts (well, according to what we’ve heard about some of them…) and a tight, frantic game ensued, eventually won by the blue team.

While Dave organised a game of dodgeball, Mrs Doyle’s tea shop opened early – but not for the usual reason of a well-earned tea break. Oh no, the next game was one that hadn’t been played for a while and was new to many of the more recent Silly Army members.

English Football is truly the Beautiful Game. It’s played the way football was intended to be played – with a cup of tea, a saucer and a strategically placed biscuit. The object of the game is to score standard football goals, without spilling your tea or getting a soggy biscuit. Cue lots of mincing as players attempt to keep up with the ball without losing any of the precious brown stuff.

Viv was spectacularly fouled as the ball knocked her cup and saucer clean out of her hand, while Pete played by the book and gained some advantages – drinking his tea, getting a refill and eating not just his own but other team members’ biscuits.

English Football also requires that each player carries an Excuse Me card, which can be presented once to an opposition player, who must oblige by stepping aside. However, not many of the Sillies played this card to their advantage, too focused on keeping their saucers clean. Despite having tea junkies Pete and K on their team, the blue team lost out to the yellows.

There's something wrong with this football game... That's right, everyone needs a nice cup of tea!

Tea was not required for an evenly matched game of hockey, where K’s late night peppermint antics saw her being not particularly on form in the yellow goal. Both the red and yellow strike forces were on good form, though, and K eventually woke up enough to defend in golden goal time by kneeling on the ball, not in the slightest intimidated by Pete’s (joking?!) threat to put leg and ball in the goal. The yellow team struck gold soon after and won the game.

Sticky Ball came next and was again quite evenly matched. The yellows got off to a great start but it was the blues who played better and won the game.

After tea break proper, we played Tchoukball and here the yellow team started off playing far better. Steph, Karen and Paul are among the best players at this game and all were on target. The blues soon picked things up and began to catch up, but this was another yellow victory.

Despite being pursued by two giant shadows, Helen is not distracted during Impossiball.

Next up was another game we hadn’t played for a while, Impossiball. This is a lacrosse style game with home-made racquets that make the transition of the ball somewhat difficult to control. New girl Alex adopted a particularly entertaining method of moving the ball – dragging it behind her along the ground inside the racquet. This proved a rather effective target, and she proved a sharp shooter – scoring an excellent through the hoop goal (worth two points). Yellows however scored the winning goal.

There was time for some tossing with a tense Monkey Toss match, blessedly free of wind this week, which meant the flying monkeys flew better. This was another very close game and it all came down to the last toss. K proved that tossing monkeys is one of her few sporting talents, thus crowning Pete’s team Top Tossers and negating the need for a toss off.

Impossiball by name...

More big tennis was played to round the day off and at 6.30pm it was time to trundle home before it got dark.

On Wednesday a selection of Sillies enjoyed more indoor games at the YMCA. A newly designed missile game was followed by Unreal Tennis, involving the ball bouncing off the walls (and also involving quite a lot of ducking as the ball moves rather fast).

We also played Bouncing Volleyball, and Netball where the green team won comfortably – Helen proving once again what an excellent shot she is. Pete meanwhile proved his girlie credentials by tying with Tori as the best shooter for the red team.

The Silly Army hope a giant ice rink doesn't land on their heads.

The Silly Army will be meeting in King’s Park again from 1pm this Sunday. We will be playing Randomiser, Big Tennis, Combi Ball, Cladwhacking, Hockey, Budge, Monkey Toss and other games – come along and join us.

Apologies for the lack of blog activity last week. The Silly Army committee has been extremely hard at work organising paperwork, fighting the ice rink plans and planning a series of activities to ensure winter is far from boring – including The Silly Army Christmas Party (yay!). Details will follow in Dave’s mailout shortly.

Alex provided a great news write-up of his first experience of Wednesday games. Read it here.

 

 

 

Pete and Dave look quite the happy newlyweds in this shot, and all their friends look happy for them. All except Alan, who is clearly coveting Karen's cup of tea.

Silly Army: Return of the Machine (and Cladwhacking)

It was an historic day indeed for The Silly Army last Sunday as we saw the return of two top players who’d been missing for some weeks. Helen, aka the Score Machine, had recovered enough from her Volleyball injury to rejoin the troops for some games, and it just so happened she turned up in the middle of her specialist game, StickyBall.

Two machines: one game - StickyBall.

We also welcomed back Ras, who had been out of the country for the last month. Dodgeball just isn’t the same without his hopping, skipping and impossible dodging. It was also great to see Tori, Viv and Rob, some of our newest recruits, back for some more punishment fun; even better they had brought more new members with them.

This was probably just as well as some of the longer serving members were flagging. Barry was somewhat worse for wear after a day and night on the lager, while Chris was feeling so poorly he barely played at all. The Silly Flu also seemed to be plaguing some of the members, with K and Dave coughing and spluttering their way through the afternoon.

As is the way these days, we began with Big Tennis. The wind is certainly an advantage, or disadvantage depending on what side of the net you’re standing on, in our new court – as is the fact Pete can’t lay out an even sized court if you gave him a measuring tape. One side is always bigger than the other.

Terminator suggested swapping ends of the pitch halfway through, which certainly helped even out the scoring, but for the second week in a row we ended on one game each.

Big Tennis is The Silly Army's most popular game.

With fresh legs arriving we played Hockey, and snot-nosed K was given a real workout in the red goal. The yellow team were by far the stronger on paper, but the reds battled hard, Mike, Greg and Pete proving nifty players despite Greg being repeatedly de-sticked. Terminator, Ras and Steph were on fire for the yellows, however, and despite a valiant battle by the reds it was the yellows who won the match.

After some Dodgeball it was time for StickyBall, and the game had just got underway when the Machine turned up to lend her talents to the blue team. The fact half the blues were distracted by chatting while the yellows scored three goals in succession didn’t help the blue campaign, and the yellows seized the game quickly.

It was time for a very special tea and cake break as Mrs Doyle’s tea shop was this week accompanied by Dave’s Fantastic Bakery – a chocolate cake whipped up for Karl and Richard’s birthdays. We also had some vegan cupcakes from Mrs Doyle, so it was a very full Silly Army that took to the pitch to play CombiBall when tea break was over.

A belly full of tea and cake does not particularly complement running around chasing balls, and the greedy bunch on the blue team were soon feeling the effects of their halftime binge, the yellows with super-scoring Ras and Dave going quickly ahead.

However, the blues began to fight back with some great shooting by the Machine and impressive football goals from K and newbie Emma. The most impressive goal of the day has to be shared, however: Jez managed to boot the ball all the way from his own half into the open goal. Moments later, proving that anything a man can do a girl can do better, Steph did the same from further up the pitch. The blues were back in the game.

Sadly, despite these super shots, it was not enough to outsmart the yellow team, who won comfortably with a high goal.

How to play Tchouckball. Sort of.

A quick game of Splat enabled everyone to cool down before another old friend returned in the shape of Cladwhacking. This is a game that divides the Silly Army – you either love it or hate it. But many of the newer members gave it a go and got stuck in whacking each other with foam tubes. This time, it was the blues who were victorious.

Monkey Toss was next, again popular with those who hadn’t played it before, and becoming a real old favourite. Ras’s taunting monkey waving always entertains, and some clever diversion techniques by Pete’s team meant they were the top tossers.

Up for more running around, we played Tchouckball, a tough game as numbers were starting to drop off. The yellow team proved most successful at working the pitch, with particular skill from Terminator.

Once again we wrapped up with more Big Tennis before heading home for dinner.

The Silly Army meets every Sunday in King’s Park from 1pm. Come and join us!

Silly Army members do it twice a week!

Dave demonstrates a new game - Monkey Toss.

It’s Wednesday. It’s cold, grey skied and raining. That can only mean one thing: Silly Summer is upon us.

The second week in May was an important one for the Silly Army as we re-launched our Wednesday evening “Silly Army Lite” games sessions. Running from 7pm to darkness and beyond, these shorter meets focus on net games and a few interesting adaptations of our Sunday repertoire. More about Silly Army Lite later; first, let’s take a look at what we got up to last Sunday.

Two magic words greeted the early arrivals at King’s Park on Sunday: Monkey Toss.

Monkey Toss was an idea dreamt up by fearless leaders Dave and Pete (who, quite frankly, spend too much time thinking about things to do with primates) while playing with a magnetic monkey one day.

They discovered that by tossing the monkey against something metal, they could achieve all manner of amusing positions. The idea quickly formulated to gather a troop of 12 magnetic monkeys, and some metal, and award points to players for the positions they achieved. Twelve sticky monkeys were quickly assembled and on Sunday the game was trialled by flinging the monkeys at Sweetpea (the world’s most beautiful, most colourful car).

This car is a babe magnet. For small, hairy, magnetic simian babes.

Testing the game proved popular – after all, who doesn’t enjoy tossing monkeys? – and resulted in Pete’s car becoming something of a babe magnet, albeit for babes with more body hair than he has…

When the serious silly games got underway, a tough game of hockey ensured that everyone was soon feeling energised knackered. This was a hard-fought and drawn out battle, eventually won by the yellow team.

Having been worn out by hockey, we opted for a few rounds of dodgeball and double dodge, where particular mention must go to new member Jamie for some spectacular dodges, including an impressive leap. Could dodgeball king Ras have found a rival for his crown?

Lining up for sticky ball.

Sticky ball followed and proved another tiring, well-contested encounter, which the blue team won two games to one.

Next came tchoukball, recently updated with the addition of two extra trampette goals to give a grand total of four. The yellow team proved best at communicating and working together to win this game.

After a short tea break, we played old favourite crumbs and crows (or is it crows and crumbs?), the game guaranteed to get everybody confused, but also sure to get everyone talking – to ask “So, are we crows, or crumbs?”

Crows and crumbs, for the uninitiated, is a chase game in which players are split into two teams, one crumbs, the other crows. When your team name is called, you run and the other team chases you. It’s a constant source of amusement how much confusion this game can cause!

How to play tchoukball, as demonstrated by our loveable leaders. Scary faces entirely compulsory when attempting to score.

After this “genteel” pastime, everyone was in the mood for a good, hard cladwhacking. Good and hard it was, too; another long game, involving lots of good-spirited combat and friendly whacking. This was won by the yellows, who comprehensively thrashed the blues.

Next it was time for a new variation on an old game; Space Invaders. Instead of two sets of cones to knock down, there were seven, each within an exclusion zone and each with one cone for the blue and one cone for the yellow team.

The yellows comprehensively won the first game, quickly adopting a team strategy. However, the blues staged a comeback in the second game after Pete started talking tactics. This was clearly the yellow team’s forte, however, and they eventually won the match.

Space Invaders proved unexpectedly tiring, so another tea break followed. We rounded off the day with a game of space hopper cricket, which once again saw individual against individual. This quickly became the Ras and Terminator show as their impressive space hopper batting saw Terminator declare at 20 runs, only for Ras to score 21. Helen also proved good at this game, while the rest of us battled it out for Golden ducks.

We reconvened on Wednesday evening for two games of hockey (won by the reds first and the yellows second), sticky ball (a yellow whitewash), and bigminton/Silly tennis (won by team Pete on both occasions).

We love to play hockey night and day.

The Silly Army meets at King’s Park, Bournemouth, every Sunday afternoon from 1pm and every Wednesday from 7pm. Come along and join us any time throughout the sessions. You’ll find us behind the playground at the Ashley Road entrance. Visit our website for more information.

We also like to go on social events and are holding a bike ride this Saturday, going from Boscombe to Corfe Castle. Contact us if you’d like to come along! Cycling up trees is entirely optional…

Pete loves bikes. Pete loves trees. So this has gotta work, right? Join us for our bike rides!

For this game, you need tea and a biscuit – English Football makes Silly Army debut

"It's really not that wet..." Duncan and Pete try to tempt Dave out to play.

Silly Army members had a busy week inventing games and building new toys in the run-up to last Sunday’s weekly games fixture.

While several club members got together for a game planning meeting, leaders of the pack Dave and Pete spent time making a set of large hula hoops. Hulaing and hula skipping races were just two of the games set to make their debut, along with a sport involving cups and saucers, tea, chocolate biscuits and ‘Excuse Me’ cards… More of which later.

So when, as we started to set up on Sunday, the heavens opened and what looked like sleet started to fall from the sky, there were rumblings of concern that not many people would turn up.

But adverse weather doesn’t stop the Silly Army.

One idea for the home made hula hoops - human hoopla.

The sleet and rain was quick to pass and while we waited for others to turn up, the early birds tested out the hula hoops, hula skipping and space hopper jousting (involving trying to knock each other off hoppers using cladwhackers).

Soon there were enough players for a game of four aside hockey and playing on a full-sized pitch meant we soon got warm. The low numbers meant everyone got a good run around and the yellow team won the first match of the day. Once again, in what is becoming a Silly Army tradition, Pete decided to swap sides halfway through the game to ensure he remained a loser.

Combi-ball was a victim of the strong wind that plagued King’s Park all afternoon, so the next game of the day was stickyball. Even here the wind posed problems, spinning the goals around and taking the balls in odd directions. Despite this, and despite Kathy entirely forgetting the rules, the blue team romped home to a comfortable victory.

"Hmm, this football is fun, but something's missing..."

After a spot of dodgeball, it was time to debut a new game, for which the aforementioned tea and biscuit were required. Christened “English Football”, this is a true gentleman’s pastime, with no running or tea spilling allowed. Each player has to carry their teacup and saucer without letting any tea spill – regular saucer checks were put in place to ensure no fouling occurred – while playing an otherwise “normal” game of football.

To ensure gentlemanly conduct reigned supreme, every player was also issued with an “Excuse me” card, which could only be played once but which, when used, meant whoever it was played on had to step aside.

"...Ah, yes, that's better." Every game of football should be played with tea.

Although it was generally agreed that this game would be more fun on a warmer day (our tea went cold) it was immensely entertaining and is sure to be added to the regular Silly Army repertoire. Once again, the blue team claimed victory.

After such a polite and dainty sport, it was only right our next game was something a little more physical. It was time to bring out the big, red tubes for cladwhacking. We hadn’t cladwhacked for a few weeks, so everyone was hungry for a bit of whacking action. Though the wind played havoc with our balls and cladwhackers, the blue team were victorious once more.

Bouncing in the face of adversity, the space hoppers came out to play once again this week, and we enjoyed a game of space hopper polo. It’s good to be able to report that there were no casualties in the hopper department this week (except Dave’s trousers…)  This game also saw the most dramatic comeback of the day. Proving this was a true blue Sunday, the blue team bounced – and we mean that literally – back from being 4-1 down to win 5-1.

A swift tea break and game of boules followed, along with some hula lessons for Kathy and Pete from hulaing experts Mimi and Steph.

For the uninitiated, this is cladwhacking in action.

There was still time for a couple more games, so we took the wind head on and played space hopper cricket, competing all against all. Pete was the clear winner, followed by Terminator second then Steph third. The rest of us failed miserably to score a single run!

We played another game of hockey, this time won by the red team and thankfully played on a shorter pitch, before it was time to pack up and head home.

Bournemouth’s Silly Army meets at King’s Park every Sunday afternoon from 1pm. Come along and join us any time throughout the afternoon. You’ll find us behind the playground at the Ashley Road entrance. Visit our website for more information.

Silly Army hop to it

Lining up for a heat of the Hopper Grand National

And they’re off… Forget the Grand National; it was all about space hoppers this weekend as the Silly Army staged the Hopper National, the world’s least famous steeplechase, on the hallowed King’s Park turf.

The 3.30 at King’s Park was won by Pete, riding thoroughbred Tally Oh. Of this historic victory, the most successful jockey in the history of space hopper racing said… nothing, as it took too long to get his breath back.

Young blood Giles and Jez also enjoyed victories in other races, but Pete retained his crown, even proving that his expert hoppering can beat a man running the course – as Giles found to his cost. Further proof then that there is no other Silly Army member so skilled at sitting on their backside…

A man with legs; a man on a space hopper. Who will win this epic battle...

...Why the man on the hopper, of course. The Hopper King reigns eternal

The hoppers were back later in the day for a traditional English game of cricket. Using a space hopper as a bat and a fitness ball as a cricket ball, a jolly spiffing time was had by all (even though there was no tea; there was cake). Team Lisa thrashed Team Dave 32 runs to 15, largely thanks to Ras’s ability to whack the ball into the car park – even Sweetpea herself attempting to make a catch but ultimately heading the ball in the wrong direction.

Hockey was a popular choice of game on Sunday, played at the start and end of the day. The yellow team enjoyed victory in the first match, including a superbly dirty goal that involved holding down the red keeper. The reds, however, came back and won the second game using slightly cleaner tactics.

The arrival of new bibs in bright red and green caused predictable confusion and the prospect of playing sticky ball with three teams instead of the usual two, as we began the game with reds, blues and greens on the pitch. Eventually deciding on greens and reds, three tough games saw the reds claim victory, despite the fact their ‘medium’ sized bibs were more akin to oversized summer dresses on many of the players.

Cladwhacking was the usual excuse for some friendly chasing and beating each other with soft foam tubes – a Silly Army tradition – and was won by the greens, although by the end there was less clad and more whacking as we all began to beat each other with joyous abandon. When Dave made the mistake of collapsing in a heap, the game transformed into ‘Whack A Dave.’* Methinks he’ll choose his sunbathing spot more carefully in the future.

This is perhaps our strangest sport from a spectator’s perspective, as several tube wielding players gather round another who has bent over to collect the ball, ever-ready for that player to make a move so they can start whacking him/her.

It's just not cricket... (It's space hopper cricket)

We also played dodgeball, double dodge with a strange pink sausage, and resurrected space invaders – which saw another resounding victory for the green team, and a few spectacular own goals.

Making the most of the weather, Silly Army members also enjoyed some time sitting around socialising, aided and abetted by cake and cookies (special thanks to Gemma for the lemon drizzle!)

Get fat, get fit – the choice is yours. At Silly Army you can combine both.

Bournemouth’s Silly Army meets at King’s Park every Sunday afternoon from 1pm. Come along and join us any time throughout the afternoon. You’ll find us behind the playground at the Ashley Road entrance. Visit our website for more information – come on, be silly and play with us!

*Your correspondent would like to clarify that no Daves were hurt in the making of this afternoon.