Seven hours Silly – Silly Army keep it up for seven hours

“You know, we’ve been playing for seven hours,” remarked Lee at the end of another mammoth Silly Army sports and games session on Sunday. Indeed we had and it just goes to show, even in sweltering temperatures, Silly Army men and ladies can keep it up for seven hours – now that’s stamina.

Sunday was a scorcher and a day for net games.

Because it was another very hot day, the Sillies opted to play a lot of net games. We also spent a lot of time squirting each other with water pistols – very refreshing!

But we started with the trampette game invented by Mimi, K and Pete a few weeks ago, involving a dodgeball trapped between two trampettes, with the object being to bounce a ball off either the trampettes or the dodgeball so the team on the opposite side can’t catch it.

The unpredictability of the bounce from the dodgeball adds great entertainment value as the ball frequently bounces over the head of the player throwing it – which Alex learned to his cost.

Dave and Pete’s team took a clear lead while Alex and Lee learned how to control their balls, but eventually their team battled back. Mike’s mere presence on the pitch spurred them on to victory.

Next we limbered up to the big net. Volleyball and Big Tennis were the order of the day, with the Dave-Pete-Lee triangle proving a successful position.

When at last we decided to brave the heat and play a runaround game, it was suggested that we picked teams for hockey the way it was done in school. Because he suggested it, Lee was naturally left on the bench until last.

Terminator’s red team contained a lot of the better hockey players, including Steph and Pete. However, everyone’s game was heat-affected, and it was Alex’s yellow team who won the match.

The yellow and blue bibs had been eschewed by giant reds and greens this week, which cause a moral dilemma for ‘I’m always yellow’ Terminator. Despite the fact he had to be red, Termy’s team were still winners at Sticky Ball.

It was time to break for tea and us tea lovers were delighted that Mrs Doyle’s kitchen now contained a third flask, meaning there was ample to go around. Giles, the man with endless energy, literally skipped tea break by skipping through it.

Tead up, caked up we played some more Big Tennis while the pitch was set up for tchoukball.

Tchouckball: it's not as scary as it looks.

Tchoukball made a welcome return after some weeks’ absence. We had to go over the rules again as many of the group hadn’t played before.

Tchouk involves bouncing an odd shaped ball off a trampette for another member of your team to catch. Again, the bounce of the ball can be deceptive, which makes this game quite challenging.

The red team got off to a flying start but the greens started to catch up as they got a better grasp of the game and K made a series of good interceptions.

The closest game of the day was Monkey Toss. Pete’s team nearly peaked too soon by carrying too many monkeys too early; Giles’s team even had to do two runs in a row at one point. However, their tossing let them down and they underestimated the cunningness of The Silly Army’s very own Dick Dastardly and his team.

We're a bunch of (monkey) tossers.

Once Team Pete had some monkeys back, their superior tossing ability meant a draw was forced. There was only one thing to do: toss off!

Pete’s team got more on the board and earned the coveted title of Top Tossers.

A rotating tennis game led to much confusion and an eventual pitch invasion, where more Big Tennis was played.

We broke again for tea and then tried a missile game, Missile Attack. With tennis balls on top of cones we lobbed missiles at each other with gay abandon. Pete’s team led until Termy’s team called for a change of course due to wind advantage.

Space hopper cricket came next, with Terminator, Giles, Steph and Spencer recording scores while the rest of us went out for nothing.

More net games were played into the evening, with Long Tennis making an appearance after we had packed up the court, and we played on until pensioners Pete and Dave collapsed in a heap. We then sat around in the park for a while enjoying a beautiful evening.

Running out of batteries can be a problem for older members. Here, Steph ponders where she's left the Pete Charger.

On Wednesday we had a low turnout, but six of us meant there was enough for three-a-side volleyball (which Steph’s team were champions of, staging a dramatic comeback twice in a row to enable Termy’s team to twice snatch defeat from the jaws of victory).

Greg suggested playing Side by Side Hockey, with two goals beside each other. It was another game of dramatic comebacks, as the red team fought back from several goals down to win 10-9. Chants of ‘In your face’ echoed around King’s Park.

Sticky Ball was more of a cut and dry affair, although we did introduce a new rule for three-a-side that every player on a team had to touch the ball before a goal could be scored. This forced players to think more about their own position and where to throw the ball, and ensured everyone played an active role in the game. The Mixed T-shirts beat the Silly T-shirts 3-1.

Afterwards we moved into the car park, playing basketball, where the Silly T-shirts were once again beaten by the Mixed Ts.

There is no Silly Army in King’s Park for the next two Sundays. On Sunday August 1 we will be taking part in the Mudeford Lifeboat Fun Day Raft Race in aid of the RNLI/Mudeford Life Boat. The theme is Chimp’s Tea Party and K and Mimi are busy making monkeys of themselves, or making monkey masks at least. If you’re on the team please grab some kind of eveningwear from your nearest charity shop; if you’re not on the team please come down and support us at Mudeford Quay from 11am on Sunday.

Want to look this dashing? The Department of Rather Stupid Outfits can help.

The following week Silly Army will be taking part in the Bournemouth Carnival and the theme will be Silly Sports. The Department of Rather Stupid Outfits are working on things to wear here too – let us know if there is a costume you would like and we will do our best to make it.

Games take place as usual next Wednesday and we’re on the beach on Saturday. Check the email updates and website for details.

Netting fun with the Silly Army

After a week’s break for the Pedal Kart Grand Prix, Bournemouth sports club for adults The Silly Army were keen to get back on the hallowed turf of King’s Park (before any evil planners stick a nasty ice rink on top of it).

Jolly hockey sticks.

Pete, Dave, K and Steph had been getting crafty in the past few weeks, making new uber-long netted racquets that look suspiciously like the things used to scoop poo out of swimming pools (yes, they really are called poo nets) and The Sillies spent the first couple of hours working out games to play with them.

We tried a variant of giant tennis, which resulted in several headings of the ball, and which Lee and K found easier when they abandoned the net. Then we tried a lacrosse style boys versus girls match (thanks to Kiwi Alex, Ras and Reece for becoming honorary girls to even out the numbers – we trust the surgery wasn’t too painful). This was a very experimental game, which we played for an hour and ten minutes with several different rules and methods of scoring. Ultimately it was the girls’ team who were the first to five in possibly the longest game we have ever played (our first session of Kubb not withstanding).

Though it needs work, this was a very popular game with the girls, perhaps because the large, unwieldy racquets eliminated height and speed advantage.

Sunday was a hot day so we decided to cool off with a spot of dodgeball before playing sticky ball. This was a closely contested game with a frustrating lack of sticking in the goals at one end. The yellows won the first game, the blues the second before the yellows rallied and took the match, with plenty of ‘In your face’ signals to the bluesers.

Hockey was another long slog game, with two teams that didn’t look even on paper but managed to successfully stop each other from scoring for a long time.

Pete and Ras put on a particularly impressive display for the reds while Steph and the other Alex were on form for the yellows.

This was another game that went on for a long time, the unexpected scorcher of a day taking its toll on ability to hit the ball and on tempers, which got a little frayed in the heat. However, we were all soon friends again after a break for tea and biscuits.

Next up was a game of Monkey Toss, in which Lee’s team challenged Ras’s team to find the best tossers in the Silly Army. Monkey Toss is a sneaky, stealthy game which relies on your ability to hide your monkey, evade capture and then toss your monkey off the goal line at the end.

Though it was a close call once more, it was eventually established that Lee’s team were the top tossers.

Come and mess around in the sea with us on Saturday.

After a brief spot of Big Ball Tennis we played Giant Tennis, although we kept the pitch a little shorter this time. Days as warm as Sunday were made for net games and we finished off with a spot of badminton at the high net, rotating players on and off.

A few of the Sillies stayed out playing Space Hopper Cricket, while the older members were becoming too stiff to move.

The Silly Army met again on Wednesday evening for more net games, including a lot of Big Ball Tennis and Volleyball.

Despite the red team taking a 3-1 lead at hockey, the yellow team came hurtling back to win 5-4. Sticky Ball was best not talked about from the point of view of the blue team, who were quickly and efficiently hammered by the yellows.

Alex came up with the idea of playing Tag using the whole park space, which was an excellent way of getting some running in, and of getting a stitch for some of the Sillies. We had a Slow Bike Race which Alan and Rich showed their prowess at, and Steph invented a cone picking up game tag game that the yellow team once again won – even when they went a player down.

Captain Pete and his motley crew build a vessel capable of shivering the hardest of timbers.

The Silly Army will be at the beach near Bournemouth Pier this Saturday at 12.30pm, practicing for the Mudeford Raft Race in aid of the RNLI. Come and join us for a drift along the coast, or come and play in the park this Sunday from 1pm. We will be practising for the Space Hopper 100m World Record attempt this Sunday.

Silly Army 18th in British Pedal Car Grand Prix

Handsome devils: The Silly Army's glorious pedal car team. Unfortunately there wasn't a category for Best Hats.

Congratulations to the Silly Army Pedal Car Team of Pete, Alex, Alan and Richard, who achieved an impressive 18th place finish in the British Pedal Car Grand Prix at Ringwood this Sunday. They were 18th of all cars, and 16th of the adult teams, completing 37 laps in two hours.

The boys in car 52 had been hard training for at least minutes before the race. The car, which the four had constructed over the past few months, performed well and looked great. Although heavier than some of the other entrants it was not the heaviest car in the race and all of the racers put in sterling performances.

Fueled by the athlete’s diet of doughnuts, ice cream and chocolate, the team were happy with their 18th place finish. Had the steering column not come loose, requiring a few minutes of emergency repair work, team Silly Army would have finished even further up the board.

The large contingent of Silly Supporters and monkeys who turned out to cheer the team on were very proud of the boys.

Of the team’s 18th/16th place finish, Chief Monkey said: “Enough already, where’s me medal?”

The Queen waves to loyal subjects.

Huge congratulations to Silly Army star and banner designer extraordinaire Steph, whose Squeals on Wheels team finished 9th overall and won the Ladies’ race with an impressive 41 laps.

You can read the full results list here.

Turning on the waterworks for Silly Army summer season

Pete can't resist the amazing waves of the Boscombe Surf Reef. Boy just has to plank surf.

The Silly Army had a busy time last weekend as not only did we play our regular Sunday games in the park, we also launched the Good Ship Monkey Trumpet in preparation for the Mudeford raft race.

Early Saturday afternoon saw a pair of planks (Pete and K) turn up at Boscombe Pier with a car full of barrels, planks and rope to construct our raft for the first session of raft practice. The rest of the team were arriving later, leaving this pair to get tied in knots, but they soon proved there’s at least once brain cell between them as they quickly assembled a raft (albeit after initially forgetting to attach the barrels). Pete did all the hard work and was soon drawing a crowd of admirers for his handy raftsmanship.

Dave and Helen joined soon after and we had a semblance of a team. However, it quickly became apparent that our Glorious Leader might have ‘mis-underestimated’ his team as Helen and K struggled with Lesson 1: Getting on the raft.

Eventually, after much leaping and bouncing in choppy waters, and the construction of a stirrup mounting system, the whole team successfully mounted, Lex arriving just in time to join in. Going forward proved the next problem, and a few more rowing lessons may be needed – although putting Dave at the back to propel the Monkey Trumpet might be a better option…

After much paddling round in circles, falling off and losing a barrel (retrieved) and an oar (sadly no longer with us) we abandoned ship and instead enjoyed a game of American Aqua Football. However, the choppy sees flipped the goals once too often and consigned them to the bin. Hopefully not the last we’ll see of this game.

We attempted some barrel bobbing and plank surfing and learned that one plank on top of another does not a successful mission make. Rafting needs a bit more practice, but we all had an immense time trying. Next week’s lessons will include Staying on the Raft and Going in a Forwards-ish Direction.

This week’s homework is to learn the following knot, the Trucker’s Hitch.

Giles is on the ball for the yellow team.

Sunday saw a lower than average turnout due to holidays and the lure of the beach. We brought the trampettes and Pete, K and Mimi soon invented a new game, which involved nailing down a net-covered dodgeball at the centre of a trampette circle. The aim is to bounce the ball off the trampettes or the dodgeball so your opposing team can’t catch it. Thanks to its shape and inflation, the dodgeball puts an interesting spin on the ball and catches your opponents out, and everyone agreed this was a good game.

Giles and K experimented with a trampette chase game, although they both found that the trampettes get rather slippy when you run on them.

Next we played giant football, although the wind soon put paid to using the giant ball, which rolled half way to Ringwood when caught in the breeze. A girls v boys penalty dispute broke out, and we switched the ball for the volleyball at half time. To keep things interesting, if you kicked the ball off the pitch you went off and couldn’t come back on until an opposition player did the same. This resulted in Karl being a one-man team at one point – and scoring a spectacular goal. The yellow team proved better footballers no matter what size their ball.

We played hockey and again the increasingly strong wind was a major factor. Some great goalkeeping helped keep the reds in the game and they were the eventual wieners.

Dodgeball saw the construction of a strange ‘house’ shape complete with en-suite bathroom. Stay in there at your peril, however – as Giles was quick to discover. Karen also utilised the under-used ‘melon eating’ technique to stay in the game a little longer.

It's big. It's Sillly. It's tennis. It's Big Silly Tennis.

Sticky ball was a whitewash, or more accurately a green wash, as the green team took all the points while the blues failed to get their balls in order.

Because of the wind, we decided not to put up the big net, instead going for Big Tennis – which encompasses three tennis courts. With a fairly small selection of players, we found the court had some dead zones (particularly where K was standing…) but played several games, enabling us all to practice our ball control and whacking skills. Karl and Terminator showed particular skill at this game.

Pete made a bag kite to make the most of the windy weather – the wind, of course, promptly died down so he didn’t get to fly it. Awwww…

Please note… There will be NO GAMES IN THE PARK this Sunday because the Silly Army will be entering the Ringwood Pedal Car Grand Prix. Alex, Richard, Pete and Alan will be pedaling their little legs off – come along and support them!

There will be raft practice on Saturday from 12.30pm at Boscombe pier. Come along and help us fall in the sea…

Just whack it! A Terminator serve captured on camera.

We’ll be back in the park from 7pm on Wednesday.

Now for some thank yous… Thanks to Helen and Alan ‘Clarkson’ for getting up and doing two car boot sales over the weekend, raising money for the Silly Army coffers. Thanks to Alan for making a fabulous promotional DVD, and to the amazingly creative Steph for banners, t-shirts and flags. Big thumbs up to Richard, Alan and Pete for constructing the pedal car. Thanks to Dave for handling all the boring paperwork and keeping us all ‘in the loop’. Thanks to Pete for tirelessly lugging all the equipment around and for building the raft.

And thanks to all of you who come and play with us – we hope you enjoy yourselves as much as we do. If you’ve never played with us before, come along and try it this Wednesday night – it’s fun, free, and fabulous!

England 5 Germany 3 in Silly Army World Cup

Engerland!

Germany.

Forget those over-paid flops in South Africa; never mind the debates about technology and disallowed goals. There was only one game that mattered on Sunday afternoon; that was the Silly Army Giant Football World Cup.

Mimi invented the game and came pre-prepared with a bag of papers with England or Germany written on them to ensure entirely random team selection.

Pete Couch on the ball for Engerland.

Kicking off at the same time as that other England-Germany game, the teams limbered up to play football with a giant abs ball bearing the title of a Dead Kennedys song, I Kill Children. No children were harmed during the first half, but the Germans’ spirits were quickly dented as England took the lead. Because of the size of the ball compared with the size of the nets, there were no keepers, meaning both teams had to play defensively.

The Germans equalised, before a neat move by Pete Couch was chipped in by Kayene Rooney to make it 2-1 to England. Germany equalised once more but Emile Stephski made it 3-2 before the break.

After traditional half-time refreshments of tea, lemon cake and chocolate, the ball was switched for a volleyball and keepers were introduced.

Five minutes into the game, Pete Couch was nominated to switch sides and become a German. However, Pete Mertesacker had little luck on the other side, and England had the advantage for most of the game.

C'mon Engerland!

Emile Stephski was on fire while Terminator Schweinsteiger plugged away for Germany and was rewarded with a goal. However, despite being a player down for the majority of this half, England were the better team and won the game 5-3. Stephski was named man of the match and raised the prized World Cup. We’re all expecting our call-ups to the other England squad in the very near future…

Silly Football gave us a real runaround, but for the rest of the afternoon the Silly Army played gentler games as they sweltered in exceptional temperatures. King’s Park was bathed in glorious sunlight and though we set up the pitch for hockey, we quickly decided it was too hot to play it.

After quite a lot of sitting around feeling a little lethargic (Terminator, Helen, Kathy and Pete were feeling the effects of spending a whole day playing at Dubnium the previous day) we played some net games.

Emile Stephski lifts the Silly World Cup for Engerland.

Careful volleyball was up first, similar to careful tennis, you lost a life every time you knocked the ball out. Pete is clearly the lucky charm in this game as his team won both times, despite mixing the sides up. This despite an interesting technique of catching the ball rather than volleying it… Kathy, meanwhile, attributed a slight improvement in technique to imagining the wall was someone who had pissed her off before whacking it (naming no names).

Grunting was a winning technique for Big Tennis. This is a game in which Terminator in particular excels and his team were wieners.

There was just time for a spot of knock-about badminton before the 3pm kick-off of World Cup football.

Big tennis - big balls, high net, lots of grunting.

After football there was more tea, before playing Kubb. Consulting the rules this time, we discovered not just how to spell it but also how it should be played so it didn’t go on forever.

This is a game of strategic and precision tossing, not of monkeys for once but of blocks and sticks of wood. Kathy eliminated her own team by knocking over the team in the first round, but made up for it in the second with some sticks on target.

A few of us were man enough to brave the heat for sticky ball, bibbed players taking on the non-bibbed. However, a three a side game on the hottest day of the year proved too much for the non-bibbed team of Alan, Pete and Kathy, and the bibbed brigade of Steph, Karen and Terminator duly wiped the floor with them.

Playing kubb in the sun.

There was time for some more net games as the Sillies played on into the evening. A great day of silliness was had by all, and it was one that none of us wanted to end.

The Silly Army is a Bournemouth sports club that meets every Sunday and Wednesday in King’s Park. Come along and join us!

Silly Army caption competition

Just for fun, we thought we’d launch a Silly Army caption competition, as we have a knack of taking ‘interesting’ photographs during games. We’ll pick our favourite and publish it on the blog next week. To get you started, here’s our first image. Leave a comment on the blog, or via Facebook. We’ll put some of our favourites on the main Silly Army website…

Tactics. Deviousness. Tossing monkeys. Another Silly Army Sunday

Happy as two pigs in... What could these two possibly be building?

The Silly Army spent Saturday night on Southbourne beach, playing games, enjoying a barbecue and making some rather interesting sand sculptures. This meant many of the Bournemouth sports and games club members were a little tired come Sunday games, but because we’re all solar powered we were soon rejuvenated by the glorious day that greeted us. There was also some kind of Jehovah’s Witness convention in Dean Court, meaning that instead of ethnic music this week we were treated to hymns as we played.

Things got off to a leisurely start with a game of ‘hunt the cigarettes’ as Dave had lost his. We never found them but rumours that some higher power was smiling on us abounded after Pete discovered a rouge tenner – a nice boost to Silly Army funds.

Members were slow to arrive so we started off with some hula hooping, which Pete has clearly been practising. After we’d all swung our hips for a while, we were joined by Alex, who brought a veritable bag of goodies on his bike.

Alex assumes the position...

Not only did he have a bag of water bombs, he also came armed with a leg catapult (which looks alarmingly like surgical stirrups when put on). Alex and Duncan had soon worked out a game involving firing the water bombs with the catapult; Duncan nobly volunteered to be the target while Alex assumed the somewhat ungainly firing position to shoot bombs at him.

Once the water bombs were spent, Pete, Alex and Duncan spent much time firing missiles and balls of various shapes and sizes – the leg catapult could just prove to be a winner; the position you must assume to use it not so much.

Games proper began with Monkey Toss:Extreme, which it is quickly becoming clear is mostly an excuse to call your friends ‘useless tossers’ should they miss the target.

This is a sneaky game of tactics, deviousness and tossing monkeys, and the more we play it the more strategies are starting to emerge.  Team Dave quickly took an impressive lead as Pete’s team played and lost too many monkeys too soon. But it should never be said this team, including Kathy, Terminator, Alex and Helen, lacks tossers, and thanks to some sneakery Dick Dastardly would be proud of, Team Pete staged a comeback to ensure this was a game that mattered.

Chris and Pete stage a pump off - foot pump v hand pump. Chris had the best pump action.

Hockey was next and was a tough, long game in the heat. The yellow team were dominant for most of the game with the vast majority of action taking place in the red half. A spectacular goal keeping balls-up by Kathy didn’t help the red team’s cause, and while Esther, Pete and Duncan in particular fought a valiant game up front for the reds, the yellows took the game, with Alex and Omar in particular showing great speed and skill and an overall great team effort.

We tried dodgeball in a triangular formation, which proved interesting and over very quickly when double dodge was introduced. A few rounds of standard, circular dodge were also played to keep traditionalists happy.

Sticky ball followed and again the heat seemed to be affecting people’s shooting abilities, as there were several missed goals from usually on-target strikers. Though the teams were quite closely matched, it was the yellows’ day and they were winners.

Sticky ball in progress. The yellows were the wieners this week.

Following tea, we played combi-ball, a game where scores can quickly be reversed. The yellow team got off to a flying start, but the blues staged a spectacular comeback for a closely fought battle. The blue team eventually took the game with a neat single-point side goal courtesy of Ras.

Dave had brought along a new game called Cub, which we played next. This involves throwing sticks at your opposing team’s knights (blocks of wood) and trying to knock them down without hitting the king in the middle.

It may have helped if we had read the rules properly, as we missed a crucial point about moving forwards so the game went on for an hour and a half. However, it was very entertaining and, now we know the rules, is sure to be a Silly Army regular fixture.

Cub is our newest game.

Though it was getting late and we’d packed many of the toys away, we wanted to play on, so we put up the net and played badminton (Helen knows how to play badminton!)

Ras also developed a game of his own using the cub toys like skittles and a volley ball to knock them down then tag people with. The Silly Army always welcomes game suggestions, so if you have any ideas what we can do with our toys please let us know and we’ll try them out!

We also held an EGM to vote on an amendment to the constitution and to vote Kathy on to the committee to handle press, PR and propaganda (more fool her).

The Silly Army meets in King’s Park, Bournemouth, every Sunday from 1pm and Wednesday from 7pm. We love new members so please come and join us, or bring a friend! We’ve got loads of social events and activities planned over the summer, too.

Join the Silly Army and you can do this too.

Strictly Come Hockey – a new Silly Army game?

 

Steph designed this fab banner for The Silly Army.

 

The Silly Army had to share King’s Park with the Bournemouth Multi-Cultural Mela festival last weekend, which meant we were treated to a wide variety of music as we played. A host of Asian, African and bizarrely Michael Jackson melodies accompanied our games and led to some funky dancing on the pitch, particularly during hockey – could Strictly Come Hockey be a new Silly Army game?

As well as the music, an unexpectedly sunny day greeted the Sillies on Sunday. For this reason (and because some of us were tired after a particularly challenging Saturday beach session playing American Aqua Football and drinking tea) we decided to start with a ‘gentle’ game of sticky ball.

Rookie mistake – anyone who’s played will know there’s no such thing as gentle sticky ball, and a long match ensued. The yellow team were all over the blues in the first game, due in part to blue team members wandering off the pitch for a mothers’ meeting.

Back at full complement the blues staged a 3-0 comeback in the second game, meaning that the third and final game had everything to play for. The yellows were fastest out of the blocks and put two on the board, but the blues weren’t done yet and replied with two of their own.

This game was tightly contested and went on for some time without scoring, the heat clearly affecting everyone’s passing and shooting ability, but at last the yellows scored that crucial third goal to claim the match.

 

The Silly Army pedal car is shaping up.

 

While we were playing, a pitch invasion occurred courtesy of Richard and the pedal car, which he, Pete and Alan took for a test drive at Ringwood that morning. Although it’s currently without a body, the car is a fabulous feat of engineering and everyone who worked on it should be proud of themselves – you can see it in action in the Ringwood Kart Race on Sunday July 11.

Our quest for a gentler game continued with dodgeball, which we played next. The pill ball had been recaptured, found cowering in fear at the back of the Silly garage, and was welcomed back into the fold for a few games of double dodge.

Next we played hockey, where some seriously funky dance moves were seen (particularly from Dave). This was a tight game of well-matched teams and soon surpassed sticky ball in terms of the longest game in Silly Army history.

The red team got off to a flying start with some notable play up front by Helen and Pete and some great defending courtesy of Duncan and Terminator. However, the yellows staged a comeback through Lee and Steph and again the game could have gone either way. It was the red team who clinched the match after another long session.

Next we played combi ball. This was notable for two things: a remarkable comeback from the blue team, and Lee’s remarkable persistence in trying to score a kicked goal in the high net.

The yellow team got off to a flying start and quickly put several points on the board. Ras, one of combi’s best players, was quick to score, as was Helen, making her combi ball scoring debut.

 

Armed and ready to attack you with missiles (they're a friendly bunch really...)

 

The blues included Dave and Pete, also good at scoring high goals, plus Greg who’s one of the best footballers. However, for a long time it seemed impossible for them to score, despite Lee’s continued valiant/crazy (delete as applicable) attempts to get a prized kick goal.

Eventually, after recruiting Spencer, the blues started to get some points back and staged a remarkable comeback to sit at 18-20. The yellows threw a point away by scoring in a closed goal, making the game even tighter, but eventually (after what felt like a very long time for those of us eager for tea break) the yellows scored their crucial last goal.

Tea break over and the teams suitable refreshed with tea and Battenburg, we set up the pitch for Monkey Toss:Extreme.

Team Lee squared up to Team Helen to find the best tossers in the Silly Army. It must have been the heat, or a lack of tossing practice, because many of our monkey tossers failed to toss accurately.

Team Helen struggled against the wind and were comprehensively beaten in the first round, but came back for a draw in the second. By the third game tiredness was starting to show and Team Lee proved themselves top tossers.

Everyone has agreed to go home and practice their tossing this weekend.

 

Pete is really scared of Pointers - he's taking no chances!

 

After more tea, we experimented with a few missile games and discovered it’s more fun to throw missiles at your opponents than at small cones, and that clads don’t do much to defend you against missile attack.

Wanting to make the most of the weather and play on as long as possible, we next played Dutch rounders (you have to run even if you don’t hit the ball and the fielders must pass the ball base to base). Helen’s team proved far superior as Kathy’s team were very quickly out.

Finally we had a game of all against all space hopper cricket, where Chris’s technique of running with the ball bouncing off his bat was very effective.

The Silly Army is an alternative Bournemouth sports club for anyone aged 18+. We meet at King’s Park every Sunday afternoon from 1pm and Wednesday evening from 7pm for a range of sports and games. We welcome new members at any time.

 

"Screw you guys, I'm going home!"

 

If you haven’t done so already, sign our petition against the building of an ice rink at King’s Park. We’ll have nowhere to play and Bournemouth will lose a large piece of green space used by sports groups, festivals, fairs and members of the public – don’t let it happen!

Sun and silliness abound at Silly Army

The Silly Army were blessed with another glorious sunny Sunday for their weekly games meet. The good weather meant that the Bournemouth sports club was blessed with a record turn out of 26 players (plus a couple of spectators who came to enjoy the sunshine and watch the Sillies in action).

It was nice to see the warm weather tempting out some players who have been missing in action for a few weeks, all refreshed and ready for some Silly action. If you haven’t played with us for a while, come and say hello sometime soon – we miss you!

We kicked off with a game of volleyball, played with a softer ball for the sake of those with delicate wrists (that being all of us who remember the winter “frozen volleyball” incident). Many of us at been practising volleyball and other net games at Helen’s beach birthday party the previous day, but I am pleased to report there was no significant improvement in our skills. Pete’s team were comprehensive wieners.

Next up was hockey, where the rather dry, dusty pitch proved perilous for some players. Particular concern was caused when Terminator suffered a malfunction and was forced to withdraw from the game. Without him, the red team promptly fell to pieces – literally, in many cases, as more and more of their number limped off with bumps, twists and strains.

Luckily, none of them were serious (certainly none serious enough to warrant an injury badge) but the red team were thoroughly thrashed by the yellows. The thrashing was a long time coming, however, as all the players struggled with ball control in the heat and dust, and it was a tired bunch who lined up to play dodgeball.

Rumours that the pill ball has escaped from the trailer on the way home may indeed be true, so there was no double dodge this week. We wish the pill ball well in its new free range home.

Combi-ball followed, disproving Pete’s theory that “if you build it, they won’t come” – the belief that putting up combi-ball nets means that not many players will turn up.

This was more of an impressive battle than the hockey, as although the yellow team surged ahead in the beginning, the blues showed signs of staging a comeback. Dave’s dogged determination to score through the hoop eventually starting to pay off. However, sharp shooter Pete was on form for the yellows and they took the game.

Hot weather always brings monkeys out to play and Sunday was no exception. This meant that for the first time in 2010 we played the legendary Monkey Chase. A game of strategic thinking, fast running and monkey cuddling, the blue team, headed by Sam and Ras, proved by far the best at capturing monkeys and won the game 2-0.

Monkey chase is a long game, but it was followed by an even longer one in a seemingly never-ending sticky ball contest. The blues won the first game, only for the yellows to reply swiftly by winning the second game three balls to nil. Come the third game and the decider and the Sillies entered a sticky ball deadlock, with nobody able to score the final goal. Tea break was tantalisingly close but seemed impossible to reach, until at last the blues broke through and claimed victory.

Following the weekly dose of tea and cake we played a final net game, perhaps our biggest misnomer to date, ‘Careful Tennis’. Played with a small ball and with the threat of losing a life every time you hit a ball out, the careful element was ignored by Kathy, whose ability to hit the ball through the net is astounding – and particularly surprising for the unfortunate Dave, who copped a careful tennis ball in the face.

We were joined by a couple of passing players tempted in by our strange antics. The teams played another close game but when team Pete lost their captain due to whacking his balls too hard too often, team Dave marched on to victory – even after Helen managed to eliminate herself from the game in similar fashion, by overwhacking her balls.

The Silly Army is an alternative Bournemouth sports club for adults who want to play like kids. We meet every Sunday at 1pm and Wednesday at 7pm at King’s Park.

The Silly Army are tossers…

Cheeky monkeys - the stars of our new game, Monkey Toss.

…Monkey tossers, of course! Monkey Toss made its debut proper and Monkey Toss: Extreme was premiered in King’s Park last Sunday at the Silly Army Bournemouth sports club.

Glorious sunshine meant conditions were perfect for tossing magnetic monkeys as it was just too hot for very much running around.

Tossing seems to have been uppermost in the minds of chief games inventors Pete and Dave of late, as we started with another game that involved throwing things – this time rockets – at each other.

Incoming! As Karl and Pete choose their weapons, Alex goes in for the kill.

Missile Command made use of the Silly Army’s collection of home-made hula hoops and a box of rockets picked up by our chief inventors earlier in the week. Played in teams, the hula hoops acted as bases while the rockets were launched, lobbed and variously pelted across the field in an attempt to knock these bases out.

Though it needed a few rounds of testing to make the game run more smoothly – including adding balls and space hoppers to the bases for easier to monitor targets – Missile Command is shaping up to be a good game, with a real fear factor when the rockets fly towards you.

After a quick hula hoop skipping race – in which Alex and Karl demonstrated the benefits of long legs compared with Kathy and Mike’s shorter ones – we decided to try a running around game and played hockey.

This was tough in the heat, but new player Karen was impressive, particularly in her displays of falling over – surely a Silly Army natural! We had some new balls from Tesco and these took a bit of getting used to. The game was close as everyone suffered in the heat and we agreed to play first to five. It was the yellow team who claimed victory.

After a few rounds of dodge ball in the shade to allow everyone time to recover, another close match followed as we played sticky ball. Alex’s pitch-long throwing helped the blues win the first game while Terminator and Jamie’s on-target shooting claimed the second game for the yellows.

While the rest of her team launch rockets, Kathy attempts to distract the opposition by pretending to be a scarecrow.

Giles suffered from being accidentally landed on by Pete (a scary fate indeed) in the third game and decided that was his cue to leave early, leaving the yellows a player down. Another impressively long throw from Alex, caught by star shooter Helen leading to a goal, showed the blues meant business, but ultimately the yellows worked as a tighter unit to claim the game and the match.

During tea break, some players limbered up for Monkey Toss. Give Pete wood, colourful metal and a bunch of magnetic monkeys and it’s only a matter of time before he creates something to play with – surely he’s missed his calling as a Blue Peter presenter.

"This, sir, is how one tosses one's monkeys."

The aim is to throw monkeys on to the metal with points awarded (by Monkeymaster Dave) for the best position or arrangement of monkeys. Quite how the scoring system works only the Monkeymaster knows,

After we had got our breath back and enjoyed a squirting from Karl’s water pistol, we played another variant of Monkey Toss – Monkey Toss:Extreme, which utilises both of the newly created goals.

Teams had to transport their monkeys from one end of the pitch to the other while two of the opposing team tried to catch them and steal their charges. Any monkeys that successfully reached their destination were then tossed towards the monkey toss goals. Any monkeys that missed the board were handed to the opposition team.

Extreme monkey toss in action.

A game of deception, running and hiding your monkeys, Alex once again proved that fast legs win matches, and it was Alex’s team that got the most monkeys on the board – enough to spell the word “Toss.”

Cladwhacking came next, Omar showing great agility and an a surprising amount of energy to help the yellows win.

We tried some more Missile Command to demonstrate it to the latecomers before space hopper cricket. This was really Alex and Karl’s game, Terminator also putting in an impressive performance to ensure their team thrashed Pete and Steph’s team 65-18.

Before the rest of the gang arrived. Kathy and Pete had been busily constructing a circle of trampettes for another new game – pinning them all into the rocky ground producing some language almost as colourful as the trailer.

Alex just loves throwing stuff. Dave, meanwhile, loves holding up nets.

The Circle of Doom is a form of dodgeball where the aim is to bounce the ball off the trampettes and hit your opponent, knocking them out.

Catching the ball was not allowed, which made things much more interesting because it goes against natural instinct.

Afterwards we invented another ball/trampette game. Quadrant Ball saw players standing in different segments of a circle, bouncing a ball of a trampette and attempting to make their opponents miss it.

When the ball was missed, the opponent in question had to move round one segment; if the ball bounced out, the thrower had to move round one segment. Once you had been round the circle and were back to your starting section, you were eliminated. Most impressive knock-out of the day was awarded to Pete, whose ball hit the side of the trampette and bounced over his own head, thus eliminating himself.

The Silly Army meets at King’s Park, Bournemouth, every Sunday afternoon from 1pm and every Wednesday from 7pm. Come along and join us. Visit our website for more information and more detailed description of the games we like to play.