Silly Army in the Sunshine

The Silly Army enjoyed a sun drenched afternoon in King’s Park this Sunday in the longest games session of the season, which left all of the Sillies aching for more (and most of them aching for a hot bath and some muscle rub).

After a busy few weeks it was great to get some new toys out in the park, not least the Giant Net that Pete has been perfecting for Really, Really Big Tennis – his latest game invention. While the giant net may still need a little work, it provides not only a great game (in which you struggle to see your opponents through the net) but also an effective anti-Chav barrier to keep out undesirable elements.

We began games with a traditional Big Tennis game, before moving on to enjoy or endure one of the longest Hockey games in living memory.

The clocks going forward and noisy pussy cats were among the reasons for Sillies being late, but gradually the field of players kept growing. It was good to welcome back newer recruits including Mark and Catherine, gluttons for more punishment, and to welcome a host of new members to the club – let’s hope they come back for more.

Five points were reached pretty quickly by the yellow team in Hockey, but with so many players arriving it was decided to play on to 10 – a decision some of the older members in particular would live to regret.

The red team was going from strength to strength and Pete couldn’t decide which team to be on to maintain his losing streak, which confused everyone (not least himself). The reds clawed five back and though the yellows scored a couple more it was not long before the reds took the lead. There was much deadlock before it was decided by old bones Dave and Pete that, with the teams tied on 8-8, the next goal would win. Kaye in the yellow goal squared up to counterpart Pete in the red, and I am pleased to report the best woman won as the yellows scored the winner.

After some Double Dodgeball we played the new version of Sticky Ball for the second week, complete with the chance to get multiple balls into play thanks to the central multiball hole. The blues quickly took the lead and won the first game, before the yellows came back to win the second. However, the blues played better as a team to win the third and take the match.

After an exceptionally confusing game of Crumbs & Crows (when is it not confusing?) we stopped for some well-earned tea and cake, home made cakes courtesy of Spencer in his chef’s trousers.

Next up was Combi Ball, for once quite a well balanced game with the lead frequently changing between the yellows and blues. New player Lauren in particular was a natural sharp shooter for the yellows, while K surprised herself more than anyone else by scoring a football goal for the blues. It was eventually the blues that took the lead, in no small part due to the partnership of Graham and Pete up front. Catherine also excelled for the yellows.

After a long experiment with the Really, Really Big Tennis game, we started losing players and retreated to the Big Tennis pitch. Big Tennis feels very small indeed after Really, Really Big Tennis, but we played on until we got too stiff to move.

A great Sunday in the park – come and join The Silly Army this Sunday from 1pm.

Rainy days on Sundays always get me down

The last Sunday in February was another disappointingly wet and chilly one for the Silly Army. With rain, hail and sun plus a bone-chilling wind, it was impossible to tell whether anyone would turn up for games at all.

K and Pete unpacked the toys on a bright but cold afternoon, only to find themselves packing them all away again 15 minutes later when the skies opened. Karl arrived and helped with the clear-up before it was decided unlikely for anyone to come out to play, so as swiftly as he arrived young Karl departed.

The kit as best protected as possible, the remaining two huddled miserably in the car for 20 minutes staring at a steaming heap of woodchip, waiting in case anyone else turned up. Joined by a well-wrapped-up Mimi and then Dave, Pete and K texted the members they thought might be brave enough to face the journey to tell them they were leaving – by which time the skies had cleared once more.

So as not to waste the day entirely, we tested Pete’s latest invention – a very long, very high tennis net. Though it didn’t work quite the way he wanted, it still provided a good object over which to have a knock-about, and confused the unfortunate Chris, who believed the council had cordoned off our corner of the park!

With Chris, Steph, Richard and Ras stepping out to brave the conditions we attempted a game of Very Long Tennis with three aside. Unfortunately the wind picked up and the net came down as one of the central posts cracked in two. Then the heavens opened again and we played a new game – how many people can we cram in Dave’s car?

When the weather cleared up some more we played some regular Big Tennis, joined by Nick and Helen, before it got too cold to continue.

Let’s hope for better weather conditions this Sunday! The Silly Army meet in King’s Park every Sunday from 1pm. Come along and join us!

Silly Army Games For Party On Boscombe Pier

The Silly Army are organising the games for Boscombe’s Party on the Pier on Saturday 12 March. In partnership with Inspieration Friends of Boscombe Pier group, the Sillies will be running a combination of It’s A Knockout and Crystal Maze style games for teams of five.

We’re still looking for teams to take part – anyone aged 18 or over is welcome to try out the games, that range from fishing for giant Velcro fish to giant Shove Ha’Penny, Bridging the Gap to Unexploded Bomb.

Pete, Kaye and Dave have been busy making new toys for the big day, helped by Pat (who must be commended for his superb fish), Rob and Alan. Many of the games are made from recycled materials.

Deadline for team registration is 5th March, so get in fast. To register, please email admin@inspieration.org or telephone 07812 163624.

There will also be music from Gugge and a chance to try trikke carve riding.

Silly Army – A Load Of Old Planks

K and Steph prepare to give Pete a sound planking.

After being rained off the previous week, last Sunday The Silly Army were back in King’s Park with a vengeance, and had some new games to try to boot.

The Bournemouth sports club for adults are organising the games for Party on the Pier on Boscombe Pier on March 12th, and Pete, Dave and K have been busy devising and building games for the last couple of months, ably assisted by Pat, Robert and Alan.

So last Sunday the Silly Army trailer rolled up not just with the standard goals, balls and sticks, but also with barrels and planks not seen since the great raft non-victory of August 2010.

While Dave gets his thrills plank standing, we all know Helen is thinking those three little letters: W T F?

These are part of the Bridging The Gap challenge, getting from one piece of ground to the other without touching feet down, using only the barrels and planks. Cue much arguing as the Sillies attempted to work out the best way to complete the challenge. After much deliberation, it was unanimously decided that Dave was best at standing on planks.

We also attempted the Spacehopper Steeplechase, with newly constructed jumps. Here we mourned the sad loss of a much prized hopper, Feck Off, who had been suffering from a slow puncture (bravely borne) for some time now, and eventually blew up when Steph sat on him. Despite this mishap, Steph soon proved that she and Pete are still the best bouncers in the Silly Army.

Feck Off lived up to his name when he blew up last Sunday. RIP.

We started games proper with that traditional opener, Big Tennis, before moving on to Hockey. As ever this was a long game with much midfield play and occasional goalmouth scrambling. We eventually decided to play to three, and the red team chipped home the winner. While the rest of the club was playing jolly hockey sticks, Rich was busy building a rocket sculpture from the barrels and planks – we expect his Turner Prize is in the post.

Sticky Ball action, where the greens took on the red/blues and won.

After a spot of Dodgeball we played Sticky Ball, a lack of red bibs meaning the greens took on the blue and reds. The greens won the first game, the blue/reds made a comeback in the second, but it was the greens who were more co-ordinated to take the match.

Another new game followed, a strange idea of Pete’s that followed the donation of several sets of bucket stilts from Inspieration. Stilt Football is easier said than done, and most of the Sillies spent most of the time trying to keep their feet on. Even the natural footballers Paul and Greg were struggling with this game and after we have eventually scored one goal each, a draw was agreed.

"OK, so there's a ball over there - now how the heck do we get to it?"

Next up was Impossiball, the game of large, cumbersome nets and soft balls that is incredibly difficult to score in. This was a game won by the reds, largely thanks to the skill of Alex (whom we believe is in the New Zealand Impossiball Olympics squad).

It was Alex who suggested the next game, too. It’s muddy, wet, cold and February, so of course the Silly Army jumped at the chance to get down on all fours and line up as if waiting some kind of gynaelogical procedure. The game was the Crab Race and the idea was to race on all fours across a small piece of ground. Ras and Alex seemed adept at this game, leaving the rest of the field far behind them.

The Silly Army welcomes you with open legs.

There was time for more Big Tennis, won by Helen’s team, before darkness fell and we had to pack up.

The Silly Army meet in King’s Park every Sunday at 1pm and play a range of games – you don’t need to be any good at sport to join us! We also meet on Wednesdays at the YMCA in Westover Road – come along and join us.

The Sunday sessions are free, Wednesday sessions cost £5 to cover hire of the hall.

Come to Silly Army and you can do this too...

Pictures by Chris and Ras.

Ice, eh? Ice, eh? Ice, eh? Skating around at Boxing Day games

An icy pitch and a shed that seemed to be emitting water caused consternation for the Silly Army’s K and Pete when they arrived to set up for Boxing Day games, as well as giving them the opportunity to stomp in icy puddles. A quick review of the pitch conditions led to the decision to slide everything left a bit on to greener grass, where it was slightly less treacherous to unload the Silly Army kit.

We were soon joined by Dave, who was nearly thwarted by the ice, but luckily Silly people bounce and he was unharmed.

Helen, Clarkson, Duncan and Paul soon joined for much merriment on a crispy pitch. Under the watchful eye of a slow moving helicopter, the games commenced.

Big Tennis was the order of the day, the ball freshly pumped and suitably dirty, it actually bounced better on the frozen ground.  Move of the day goes to Helen, K and Dave for the ‘Squealing Bundle’ formation, that somehow or another got the ball over the net.

There was a lack of wind in King’s Park (one can only assume it has Christmas off) so we played Silly Badminton. Move of that game has to go to Pete for hitting himself in the face – it had no impact on play or his ability to hit the shuttle cock, but self-flagelation is always entertaining to watch.

Next it was time for a roundaround and we played Passing Sticky Ball (in which every player has to touch the ball). Duncan’s expert marking was a boon to the blue team; everybody’s cack handed catching was a bonus to nobody. After an eternity, during which Pete got bored and wandered off to even out the sides, the blues eventually claimed victory, though Helen disputed this with the shake test, nobody listened to her on account of fearing the game would go on for ever.

To finish up we played Three Man Hockey (having lost Clarkson) and despite some deft moves from Paul for the reds, it was the yellows who emerged victorious, 10-9. Man of the match here has to be Pete, not just for a spectacular solo effort fighting his way through a sea of red players, but also for not being thwarted by an open goal – there’s a first time for everything!

The Silly Army will be playing in the YMCA hall this Wednesday, and back in the park next Sunday. Come, join us!

Chilly Army – Playing out until after dark

The Silly Army Flag - we sallute you (and Steph, who made you!) Picture: AD

The Silly Army beat reports of heavy rain and enjoyed another gloriously sunny, if rather chilly, day of games in King’s Park on November 7.

We started with Big Tennis, the lengthening grass in our little corner of the park adding further ambiguous bounces to the already unpredictable ball, and prompting the call from Matt for ‘a goat and a steam roller’. Unfortunately, nobody had remembered to pack either of these items, so a challenging game ensued. Strangely, the blinding sun in players’ eyes proved to be an advantage, as it was the team on the sunny side of the pitch that won both games. Steph’s team comfortably won the first game, while Dave’s enjoyed a similarly resounding victory in the second.

First up on the big pitch was Combi Ball, although we almost forgot to set up the side goals. The blue team were soon wishing that we had forgotten to play the game entirely as the most embarrassing defeat of Silly Army ensued. The yellows were all over the blues and won 20-0 thanks to some sharp shooting from Ras, Steph and Tori among others, and a particularly fine football goal from Dave. The blue team, meanwhile, were prompted by their leader Pete to try to get at least one point on the board – and promptly failed in that mission. Well done, yellow team, on earning your place in the Silly History Books.

Ras is one of the top scorers at Combi Ball. Picture: AD

Next up was Dodgeball, which rapidly evolved into Double Dodge despite lower numbers than in recent weeks. After that we played Hockey, which was well battled and evenly matched with a decent amount of play at both ends of the pitch. Dave’s idea of starting from the centre after a goal also meant there was more even play. In the end it was the yellows who won, but the game was close.

The committee have been thinking (shock, horror!) that it would be a good idea to try out a wider variety of games. So it was that Steph’s Teapot It was played. Two players are linked like a teapot – one the handle, one the spout, while a cat chases a mouse around the pitch. The mouse links on to a handle and the spout has to run off – sounds simple, but confused the whole of the Silly Army good and proper. Once we got the hang of it it was a great game, however, despite looking from a distance like some kind of messed up speed dating event…

Pete forgets the high stick rule in hockey. Picture: AD

After a brief tea stop, Sticky Ball came next and was a very long match – it seemed impossible for either team to score and it may be time to replace the sticky goals. Particular kudos must go to the blue team’s Rob and Pete, who were so busy trying to prove the goal at their end wasn’t sticky that they were still testing it as the yellows scored at their end! Also to K of the blues who realised too late it’s not easy to catch a ball with your shades in your hand.

Because of time and light constraints, and the fact the blue team once again failed miserably to score, we only played one game of Sticky Ball this week and the yellows won 3 balls to 0.

Another new game came next, or rather an old game resurrected. Loopy Lobbing proves how committed the Silly Army are to recycling, making use as it does of the old discs that surrounded sticky pads gone to that great Sticky Ball pitch in the sky.

Each player is armed with three discs and the objective is to knock out other players by lobbing discs at them, without getting hit yourself. The result was something of a quickfire massacre. Ras’s technique of mass lobbing worked rather well, while Pete learned the hard way that there are no friends in Loopy Lobbing after an ill-advised union with Dave resulted in his untimely demise.

Balls! Picture: AD

After that there was still enough light and energy to play a couple more games. We opted for Impossiball, and the blue team finally found there forte, scoring three goals without answer. The yellows got two back but the blues scored two more for a well deserved victory.

Monkey Toss was the last game of the day and was a true walkover as Pete’s team went on the offensive and scored victory in just three runs – clearly, these guys have been practising their tossing.

The Silly Army meets every Sunday in King’s Park from 1pm, and every Wednesday in the YMCA on Westover

Impossiball involves large, unwieldy nets and a flighty ball. Picture: KI

Road, Bournemouth, from 7pm. Come and join us!

Picture credits: AD – Aleksandra Dimitrova; KI – Kaye Inglis

Another sunny Sunday Silly session!

The Silly Army last Sunday.

Despite being described by some nay-sayers at Bournemouth Council as an “underused resource”, King’s Park was again busy on Sunday afternoon as footballers, cyclists, dog walkers, families and runners made the best of the gloriously crisp, sunny day to enjoy the benefits of spending time in green space.

Big Tennis - by far the best way to start a Sunday afternoon in King's Park.

In their new spot in the far corner, The Silly Army were of course out in force, and it was super to see lots of new players as well as many familiar faces. Welcome, Alex, Nick, Matt, Sue and Visiting John – we hope you’ll come and play with us some more!

As has become a tradition with Silly Army, we started our park games session with a game of Big Tennis. The new players all took to this game surprisingly well, quickly showing some of the old hands how it should be done. Due to various late night games, drinking sessions and emergency 1am peppermint tea deliveries, some of the old guard were a little off the ball, and the ball itself was quite frequently off the court as we whacked it here, there and everywhere. However, some good rallies were eventually had, and Karen’s team were the most alert to claim a deserved victory.

Dave proves he has the legs for a netball skirt.

First up on the big pitch was Double Netball, a recently invented game with two very high, very small netball hoops in which you have to toss your balls.

This is a fast game that soon had everybody warmed up in the chilly air. This is a game where the girls tend to excel – Helen in particular an excellent shooter – but the boys proved they were just as comfortable in netball skirts (well, according to what we’ve heard about some of them…) and a tight, frantic game ensued, eventually won by the blue team.

While Dave organised a game of dodgeball, Mrs Doyle’s tea shop opened early – but not for the usual reason of a well-earned tea break. Oh no, the next game was one that hadn’t been played for a while and was new to many of the more recent Silly Army members.

English Football is truly the Beautiful Game. It’s played the way football was intended to be played – with a cup of tea, a saucer and a strategically placed biscuit. The object of the game is to score standard football goals, without spilling your tea or getting a soggy biscuit. Cue lots of mincing as players attempt to keep up with the ball without losing any of the precious brown stuff.

Viv was spectacularly fouled as the ball knocked her cup and saucer clean out of her hand, while Pete played by the book and gained some advantages – drinking his tea, getting a refill and eating not just his own but other team members’ biscuits.

English Football also requires that each player carries an Excuse Me card, which can be presented once to an opposition player, who must oblige by stepping aside. However, not many of the Sillies played this card to their advantage, too focused on keeping their saucers clean. Despite having tea junkies Pete and K on their team, the blue team lost out to the yellows.

There's something wrong with this football game... That's right, everyone needs a nice cup of tea!

Tea was not required for an evenly matched game of hockey, where K’s late night peppermint antics saw her being not particularly on form in the yellow goal. Both the red and yellow strike forces were on good form, though, and K eventually woke up enough to defend in golden goal time by kneeling on the ball, not in the slightest intimidated by Pete’s (joking?!) threat to put leg and ball in the goal. The yellow team struck gold soon after and won the game.

Sticky Ball came next and was again quite evenly matched. The yellows got off to a great start but it was the blues who played better and won the game.

After tea break proper, we played Tchoukball and here the yellow team started off playing far better. Steph, Karen and Paul are among the best players at this game and all were on target. The blues soon picked things up and began to catch up, but this was another yellow victory.

Despite being pursued by two giant shadows, Helen is not distracted during Impossiball.

Next up was another game we hadn’t played for a while, Impossiball. This is a lacrosse style game with home-made racquets that make the transition of the ball somewhat difficult to control. New girl Alex adopted a particularly entertaining method of moving the ball – dragging it behind her along the ground inside the racquet. This proved a rather effective target, and she proved a sharp shooter – scoring an excellent through the hoop goal (worth two points). Yellows however scored the winning goal.

There was time for some tossing with a tense Monkey Toss match, blessedly free of wind this week, which meant the flying monkeys flew better. This was another very close game and it all came down to the last toss. K proved that tossing monkeys is one of her few sporting talents, thus crowning Pete’s team Top Tossers and negating the need for a toss off.

Impossiball by name...

More big tennis was played to round the day off and at 6.30pm it was time to trundle home before it got dark.

On Wednesday a selection of Sillies enjoyed more indoor games at the YMCA. A newly designed missile game was followed by Unreal Tennis, involving the ball bouncing off the walls (and also involving quite a lot of ducking as the ball moves rather fast).

We also played Bouncing Volleyball, and Netball where the green team won comfortably – Helen proving once again what an excellent shot she is. Pete meanwhile proved his girlie credentials by tying with Tori as the best shooter for the red team.

The Silly Army hope a giant ice rink doesn't land on their heads.

The Silly Army will be meeting in King’s Park again from 1pm this Sunday. We will be playing Randomiser, Big Tennis, Combi Ball, Cladwhacking, Hockey, Budge, Monkey Toss and other games – come along and join us.

Apologies for the lack of blog activity last week. The Silly Army committee has been extremely hard at work organising paperwork, fighting the ice rink plans and planning a series of activities to ensure winter is far from boring – including The Silly Army Christmas Party (yay!). Details will follow in Dave’s mailout shortly.

Alex provided a great news write-up of his first experience of Wednesday games. Read it here.

 

 

 

Pete and Dave look quite the happy newlyweds in this shot, and all their friends look happy for them. All except Alan, who is clearly coveting Karen's cup of tea.

Rain fails to stop play at Silly Army

Despite the torrential downpour at noon on Sunday, The Silly Army carried on regardless for their weekly games session in King’s Park. It takes more than a spot of rain to stop the Sillies, and noble trooper Silly Dave even dragged himself from his sick bed to join in the games, along with the formalities of the Silly Army EGM to reorganise the committee (a crueler person might say the committee was never very organised in the first place!)

Though initially it was just Dave and K in the park contemplating the rain clouds, they were soon joined by Pete and the trailler of toys – always useful when having a games session. Steph was next to brave the weather and we set about setting up the pitches.

Many had been in doubt that games would run because of the weather, but Pete mocked their lack of faith that the gods would shine the sun on the Silly Army, and rightly so as no sooner had we set the pitches up the sun came out.

The ground was somewhat sodden, and someone or another had decided to set up the volleyball net next to a large puddle of mud, which proved a formidable challenge for any players on that side of the net as they tried to avoid falling in it. Luckily, they all succeeded, although the ball was not so fortunate and was soon a truly sticky ball.

Greg proved something of a one-man machine at Big Tennis, throwing himself all over the court and skillfully avoiding landing in the mud. Meanwhile, K proved she should probably stick to playing with her left hand…

When enough players arrived, we took to a slightly less muddy pitch for Hockey. The ground was still rather slippery and almost everyone ended up falling over, some several times. This was a tough match with only nine players, and Jez soon became the most coveted player on the pitch as he swapped from red to yellow and back again.

In the end it was the red team who won 5-4.

Next up was Sticky Ball, where the damp conditions again caused havoc as some of the balls refused to stick. Because there were so few players we opted for the passing version of the game that Greg had dreamt up – all players on a team had to touch the ball before an attempt could be made at scoring. With an extra player and better marking, the yellow team were easy winners, two matches to nil.

We stopped for tea and held the EGM to elect the committee to their new positions. Dave was elected Chairman, Pete Treasurer and K Secretary and Press/Publicity Officer. Official business over, we could then get on with the important matter of drinking tea.

After tea and Suggestive Biscuits, we opted for another running game and played Double Hoop Netball. Scoring proved challenging for both teams, although again Jez was the star player. The blue team proved better at marking and tactics and went on to win a comfortable victory.

We played Splat, before another couple of games of Big Tennis – in which the combination of Pete, K and Terminator proved no match for Paul and Jez. When the net collapsed we decided it was time to pack up early – unfortunately for Robert who turned up just as we were getting ready to leave.

Wednesday night saw the first indoor games session of the winter, at the YMCA in Bournemouth. Despite initial worries that we wouldn’t have many players, turnout was excellent and we played a range of net games, including Bouncing Volleyball, SurReal Tennis and Frisbee Toss.

Several balls and frisbees were temporarily lost to the balcony, while new player Dean was almost lost out of the fire exit when he fell over backwards.

A game of Netball got everybody hot and sweaty with lots of running around. Both teams were evenly matched and it was the green team who were the first to ten points.

Schoonball, a terrifically scary form of Dodgeball using plastic racquets to defend yourself from a deluge incoming balls, was the last game of the night and was an exhilarating way to end the evening.

Thanks to everyone who came to Wednesday games; we’re going to make it a weekly occurrence.

The Silly Army will be meeting this Sunday from 1pm in King’s Park. Check out our website for more details.

Silly Army: Return of the Machine (and Cladwhacking)

It was an historic day indeed for The Silly Army last Sunday as we saw the return of two top players who’d been missing for some weeks. Helen, aka the Score Machine, had recovered enough from her Volleyball injury to rejoin the troops for some games, and it just so happened she turned up in the middle of her specialist game, StickyBall.

Two machines: one game - StickyBall.

We also welcomed back Ras, who had been out of the country for the last month. Dodgeball just isn’t the same without his hopping, skipping and impossible dodging. It was also great to see Tori, Viv and Rob, some of our newest recruits, back for some more punishment fun; even better they had brought more new members with them.

This was probably just as well as some of the longer serving members were flagging. Barry was somewhat worse for wear after a day and night on the lager, while Chris was feeling so poorly he barely played at all. The Silly Flu also seemed to be plaguing some of the members, with K and Dave coughing and spluttering their way through the afternoon.

As is the way these days, we began with Big Tennis. The wind is certainly an advantage, or disadvantage depending on what side of the net you’re standing on, in our new court – as is the fact Pete can’t lay out an even sized court if you gave him a measuring tape. One side is always bigger than the other.

Terminator suggested swapping ends of the pitch halfway through, which certainly helped even out the scoring, but for the second week in a row we ended on one game each.

Big Tennis is The Silly Army's most popular game.

With fresh legs arriving we played Hockey, and snot-nosed K was given a real workout in the red goal. The yellow team were by far the stronger on paper, but the reds battled hard, Mike, Greg and Pete proving nifty players despite Greg being repeatedly de-sticked. Terminator, Ras and Steph were on fire for the yellows, however, and despite a valiant battle by the reds it was the yellows who won the match.

After some Dodgeball it was time for StickyBall, and the game had just got underway when the Machine turned up to lend her talents to the blue team. The fact half the blues were distracted by chatting while the yellows scored three goals in succession didn’t help the blue campaign, and the yellows seized the game quickly.

It was time for a very special tea and cake break as Mrs Doyle’s tea shop was this week accompanied by Dave’s Fantastic Bakery – a chocolate cake whipped up for Karl and Richard’s birthdays. We also had some vegan cupcakes from Mrs Doyle, so it was a very full Silly Army that took to the pitch to play CombiBall when tea break was over.

A belly full of tea and cake does not particularly complement running around chasing balls, and the greedy bunch on the blue team were soon feeling the effects of their halftime binge, the yellows with super-scoring Ras and Dave going quickly ahead.

However, the blues began to fight back with some great shooting by the Machine and impressive football goals from K and newbie Emma. The most impressive goal of the day has to be shared, however: Jez managed to boot the ball all the way from his own half into the open goal. Moments later, proving that anything a man can do a girl can do better, Steph did the same from further up the pitch. The blues were back in the game.

Sadly, despite these super shots, it was not enough to outsmart the yellow team, who won comfortably with a high goal.

How to play Tchouckball. Sort of.

A quick game of Splat enabled everyone to cool down before another old friend returned in the shape of Cladwhacking. This is a game that divides the Silly Army – you either love it or hate it. But many of the newer members gave it a go and got stuck in whacking each other with foam tubes. This time, it was the blues who were victorious.

Monkey Toss was next, again popular with those who hadn’t played it before, and becoming a real old favourite. Ras’s taunting monkey waving always entertains, and some clever diversion techniques by Pete’s team meant they were the top tossers.

Up for more running around, we played Tchouckball, a tough game as numbers were starting to drop off. The yellow team proved most successful at working the pitch, with particular skill from Terminator.

Once again we wrapped up with more Big Tennis before heading home for dinner.

The Silly Army meets every Sunday in King’s Park from 1pm. Come and join us!

Space hopper 100m – close, but no cigar

On Saturday 18 September, a Silly Army delegation enjoyed a day out at Fit Christchurch. While there they attempted to break the World Record for 100m on a space hopper, and invited members of the public to give it a try too.

Pete prepares his inflatable friends for the day ahead.

Throughout the day several members, and hundreds of members of the public young and old, bounced along the 100m track, accompanied by Silly Army foot patrol sprinting (in some cases backwards) to time and film the record attempts.

Steph and Pete proved they were the best bouncers, Steph just a second off the record time of 30.2 seconds and Pete a few points of a second later in their best runs – time to get into training; if they hop everywhere for the next year they’ll smash the record no problem. Now may be the time to gloss over the fact that on what was probably their best time (and quite possibly a world record breaker) not only did K and Alex manage to mess up their ‘synchronised’ timers, but cameraman Alan also missed the start of the filming…

So the Silly Army were close, but no cigar to the 100 metre world record. We will all be in serious training for our next attempt, even if some of us are just learning how to use a stopwatch.

The camera crew prime themselves for action, though they're missing one vital ingredient...

The space hoppers put in an appearance at Sunday games, although anyone who had been to Fit Christchurch was not in the mood for much bouncing.

Sunday also saw The Silly Army moving into their new home at the far side of the park (after being told off for wearing out the football pitches!). Hammering in the goal posts, we were pleased to discover this rocky outpost was just as full of stone and strange lumps of metal as the rest of the park – so we soon felt at home. There is also a large pile of woodchips next to our new pitch, which gives a fresh, pine scent to the whole area and provides a great landmark to point members towards. Although it was quite entertaining watching Sam driving round in circles for ten minutes trying to find us…

We started games, as ever, with Big Tennis, where dynamic Karen proved a real asset to Steph’s team, propelling them to a resounding victory despite being recruited half way through the game. However, changing ends proved this team’s undoing, allowing Pete’s team to take the second game. Unusually for The Silly Army, we agreed to draw because there were now increasing numbers of people and it was time to play a runaround.

A large queue of record attempters quickly formed.

There then ensued the longest game of Hockey in Silly Army history (perhaps we should try a world record attempt at that…)

As more and more players came to join us, we had to extend the pitch to accommodate them all. Pete and K had laid a short, fat pitch, which meant there was a lot of midfield battling but not many goals. We stopped to extend the pitch, skilfully avoiding a fox egg that was now millimetres from the yellow goal, and played on.

The yellow team went ahead by two goals, but despite protestation from the reds that the sides weren’t evenly matched, Karen got two goals back to make things even.

The yellows scored another, while Dave for the reds kept pressuring the yellow goal. Even more players turned up and for a long time the action was contained in the newly extended midfield. About an hour into the game, Pete abandoned his yellow defensive position to go and lay out a Dodgeball pitch, in the hope that someone would score soon. However, he returned to position just at the right time to prevent a sneaky red attack.

Eventually, Dave and Pete decided that the “next goal wins” rule would apply – perhaps a little unfairly on the yellows, who were a goal up at the time. K in the yellow goal was not going to let anything through and at last the yellows scored the winner. After more than an hour of playing, all the players should take credit for a hard-fought, evenly matched game.

Christchurch: Where hoppers go to die. We suffered several casualties in the field.

It was time for something more sedate, and the Dodgeball circle that had been laid out earlier came in useful. Pete unveiled his new balls – one pink, one purple, both with silly slogans written on them and the purple one prone to deflating. Double Dodge was the order of the day and much squealing, jumping around and artful dodging ensued.

With so many players it was decided to play another runaround, and Stickyball was the order of the day. The yellows won the first game before Karen defected to the blues, helping in no small way to their victory in the second game. Many of the new players were particularly good at this game – it’s a shame our best new catcher was visiting from Scotland!

Both teams fought hard in the deciding game, but it was the blues who snatched it.

After tea break, it was time to mount hoppers once more (after we’d blown the accursed things up!) Space Hopper Polo was the name of the game, but being full of tea and biscuits and with the best hopperers still hoppered out from Fit Christchurch, it was going to be a short game.

Dave won something in the raffle. We didn't realise it was a Silly Army personal shopper...

In fact, it was a one-goal wonder, and it was the blues that scored that all-important point, much to the chagrin of Karl on the yellow team, the only player with enough bounce to play on.

After that exertion there was enough time for a quick game of Splat, the shooting game, in which K and Pete managed to draw as losers by shooting each other at exactly the same time in the final duel. Then there was just enough time to play more Big Tennis as the numbers began to dwindle before it was time to pack up and head home for another week.