Strictly Come Hockey – a new Silly Army game?

 

Steph designed this fab banner for The Silly Army.

 

The Silly Army had to share King’s Park with the Bournemouth Multi-Cultural Mela festival last weekend, which meant we were treated to a wide variety of music as we played. A host of Asian, African and bizarrely Michael Jackson melodies accompanied our games and led to some funky dancing on the pitch, particularly during hockey – could Strictly Come Hockey be a new Silly Army game?

As well as the music, an unexpectedly sunny day greeted the Sillies on Sunday. For this reason (and because some of us were tired after a particularly challenging Saturday beach session playing American Aqua Football and drinking tea) we decided to start with a ‘gentle’ game of sticky ball.

Rookie mistake – anyone who’s played will know there’s no such thing as gentle sticky ball, and a long match ensued. The yellow team were all over the blues in the first game, due in part to blue team members wandering off the pitch for a mothers’ meeting.

Back at full complement the blues staged a 3-0 comeback in the second game, meaning that the third and final game had everything to play for. The yellows were fastest out of the blocks and put two on the board, but the blues weren’t done yet and replied with two of their own.

This game was tightly contested and went on for some time without scoring, the heat clearly affecting everyone’s passing and shooting ability, but at last the yellows scored that crucial third goal to claim the match.

 

The Silly Army pedal car is shaping up.

 

While we were playing, a pitch invasion occurred courtesy of Richard and the pedal car, which he, Pete and Alan took for a test drive at Ringwood that morning. Although it’s currently without a body, the car is a fabulous feat of engineering and everyone who worked on it should be proud of themselves – you can see it in action in the Ringwood Kart Race on Sunday July 11.

Our quest for a gentler game continued with dodgeball, which we played next. The pill ball had been recaptured, found cowering in fear at the back of the Silly garage, and was welcomed back into the fold for a few games of double dodge.

Next we played hockey, where some seriously funky dance moves were seen (particularly from Dave). This was a tight game of well-matched teams and soon surpassed sticky ball in terms of the longest game in Silly Army history.

The red team got off to a flying start with some notable play up front by Helen and Pete and some great defending courtesy of Duncan and Terminator. However, the yellows staged a comeback through Lee and Steph and again the game could have gone either way. It was the red team who clinched the match after another long session.

Next we played combi ball. This was notable for two things: a remarkable comeback from the blue team, and Lee’s remarkable persistence in trying to score a kicked goal in the high net.

The yellow team got off to a flying start and quickly put several points on the board. Ras, one of combi’s best players, was quick to score, as was Helen, making her combi ball scoring debut.

 

Armed and ready to attack you with missiles (they're a friendly bunch really...)

 

The blues included Dave and Pete, also good at scoring high goals, plus Greg who’s one of the best footballers. However, for a long time it seemed impossible for them to score, despite Lee’s continued valiant/crazy (delete as applicable) attempts to get a prized kick goal.

Eventually, after recruiting Spencer, the blues started to get some points back and staged a remarkable comeback to sit at 18-20. The yellows threw a point away by scoring in a closed goal, making the game even tighter, but eventually (after what felt like a very long time for those of us eager for tea break) the yellows scored their crucial last goal.

Tea break over and the teams suitable refreshed with tea and Battenburg, we set up the pitch for Monkey Toss:Extreme.

Team Lee squared up to Team Helen to find the best tossers in the Silly Army. It must have been the heat, or a lack of tossing practice, because many of our monkey tossers failed to toss accurately.

Team Helen struggled against the wind and were comprehensively beaten in the first round, but came back for a draw in the second. By the third game tiredness was starting to show and Team Lee proved themselves top tossers.

Everyone has agreed to go home and practice their tossing this weekend.

 

Pete is really scared of Pointers - he's taking no chances!

 

After more tea, we experimented with a few missile games and discovered it’s more fun to throw missiles at your opponents than at small cones, and that clads don’t do much to defend you against missile attack.

Wanting to make the most of the weather and play on as long as possible, we next played Dutch rounders (you have to run even if you don’t hit the ball and the fielders must pass the ball base to base). Helen’s team proved far superior as Kathy’s team were very quickly out.

Finally we had a game of all against all space hopper cricket, where Chris’s technique of running with the ball bouncing off his bat was very effective.

The Silly Army is an alternative Bournemouth sports club for anyone aged 18+. We meet at King’s Park every Sunday afternoon from 1pm and Wednesday evening from 7pm for a range of sports and games. We welcome new members at any time.

 

"Screw you guys, I'm going home!"

 

If you haven’t done so already, sign our petition against the building of an ice rink at King’s Park. We’ll have nowhere to play and Bournemouth will lose a large piece of green space used by sports groups, festivals, fairs and members of the public – don’t let it happen!

Sun and silliness abound at Silly Army

The Silly Army were blessed with another glorious sunny Sunday for their weekly games meet. The good weather meant that the Bournemouth sports club was blessed with a record turn out of 26 players (plus a couple of spectators who came to enjoy the sunshine and watch the Sillies in action).

It was nice to see the warm weather tempting out some players who have been missing in action for a few weeks, all refreshed and ready for some Silly action. If you haven’t played with us for a while, come and say hello sometime soon – we miss you!

We kicked off with a game of volleyball, played with a softer ball for the sake of those with delicate wrists (that being all of us who remember the winter “frozen volleyball” incident). Many of us at been practising volleyball and other net games at Helen’s beach birthday party the previous day, but I am pleased to report there was no significant improvement in our skills. Pete’s team were comprehensive wieners.

Next up was hockey, where the rather dry, dusty pitch proved perilous for some players. Particular concern was caused when Terminator suffered a malfunction and was forced to withdraw from the game. Without him, the red team promptly fell to pieces – literally, in many cases, as more and more of their number limped off with bumps, twists and strains.

Luckily, none of them were serious (certainly none serious enough to warrant an injury badge) but the red team were thoroughly thrashed by the yellows. The thrashing was a long time coming, however, as all the players struggled with ball control in the heat and dust, and it was a tired bunch who lined up to play dodgeball.

Rumours that the pill ball has escaped from the trailer on the way home may indeed be true, so there was no double dodge this week. We wish the pill ball well in its new free range home.

Combi-ball followed, disproving Pete’s theory that “if you build it, they won’t come” – the belief that putting up combi-ball nets means that not many players will turn up.

This was more of an impressive battle than the hockey, as although the yellow team surged ahead in the beginning, the blues showed signs of staging a comeback. Dave’s dogged determination to score through the hoop eventually starting to pay off. However, sharp shooter Pete was on form for the yellows and they took the game.

Hot weather always brings monkeys out to play and Sunday was no exception. This meant that for the first time in 2010 we played the legendary Monkey Chase. A game of strategic thinking, fast running and monkey cuddling, the blue team, headed by Sam and Ras, proved by far the best at capturing monkeys and won the game 2-0.

Monkey chase is a long game, but it was followed by an even longer one in a seemingly never-ending sticky ball contest. The blues won the first game, only for the yellows to reply swiftly by winning the second game three balls to nil. Come the third game and the decider and the Sillies entered a sticky ball deadlock, with nobody able to score the final goal. Tea break was tantalisingly close but seemed impossible to reach, until at last the blues broke through and claimed victory.

Following the weekly dose of tea and cake we played a final net game, perhaps our biggest misnomer to date, ‘Careful Tennis’. Played with a small ball and with the threat of losing a life every time you hit a ball out, the careful element was ignored by Kathy, whose ability to hit the ball through the net is astounding – and particularly surprising for the unfortunate Dave, who copped a careful tennis ball in the face.

We were joined by a couple of passing players tempted in by our strange antics. The teams played another close game but when team Pete lost their captain due to whacking his balls too hard too often, team Dave marched on to victory – even after Helen managed to eliminate herself from the game in similar fashion, by overwhacking her balls.

The Silly Army is an alternative Bournemouth sports club for adults who want to play like kids. We meet every Sunday at 1pm and Wednesday at 7pm at King’s Park.

The Silly Army are tossers…

Cheeky monkeys - the stars of our new game, Monkey Toss.

…Monkey tossers, of course! Monkey Toss made its debut proper and Monkey Toss: Extreme was premiered in King’s Park last Sunday at the Silly Army Bournemouth sports club.

Glorious sunshine meant conditions were perfect for tossing magnetic monkeys as it was just too hot for very much running around.

Tossing seems to have been uppermost in the minds of chief games inventors Pete and Dave of late, as we started with another game that involved throwing things – this time rockets – at each other.

Incoming! As Karl and Pete choose their weapons, Alex goes in for the kill.

Missile Command made use of the Silly Army’s collection of home-made hula hoops and a box of rockets picked up by our chief inventors earlier in the week. Played in teams, the hula hoops acted as bases while the rockets were launched, lobbed and variously pelted across the field in an attempt to knock these bases out.

Though it needed a few rounds of testing to make the game run more smoothly – including adding balls and space hoppers to the bases for easier to monitor targets – Missile Command is shaping up to be a good game, with a real fear factor when the rockets fly towards you.

After a quick hula hoop skipping race – in which Alex and Karl demonstrated the benefits of long legs compared with Kathy and Mike’s shorter ones – we decided to try a running around game and played hockey.

This was tough in the heat, but new player Karen was impressive, particularly in her displays of falling over – surely a Silly Army natural! We had some new balls from Tesco and these took a bit of getting used to. The game was close as everyone suffered in the heat and we agreed to play first to five. It was the yellow team who claimed victory.

After a few rounds of dodge ball in the shade to allow everyone time to recover, another close match followed as we played sticky ball. Alex’s pitch-long throwing helped the blues win the first game while Terminator and Jamie’s on-target shooting claimed the second game for the yellows.

While the rest of her team launch rockets, Kathy attempts to distract the opposition by pretending to be a scarecrow.

Giles suffered from being accidentally landed on by Pete (a scary fate indeed) in the third game and decided that was his cue to leave early, leaving the yellows a player down. Another impressively long throw from Alex, caught by star shooter Helen leading to a goal, showed the blues meant business, but ultimately the yellows worked as a tighter unit to claim the game and the match.

During tea break, some players limbered up for Monkey Toss. Give Pete wood, colourful metal and a bunch of magnetic monkeys and it’s only a matter of time before he creates something to play with – surely he’s missed his calling as a Blue Peter presenter.

"This, sir, is how one tosses one's monkeys."

The aim is to throw monkeys on to the metal with points awarded (by Monkeymaster Dave) for the best position or arrangement of monkeys. Quite how the scoring system works only the Monkeymaster knows,

After we had got our breath back and enjoyed a squirting from Karl’s water pistol, we played another variant of Monkey Toss – Monkey Toss:Extreme, which utilises both of the newly created goals.

Teams had to transport their monkeys from one end of the pitch to the other while two of the opposing team tried to catch them and steal their charges. Any monkeys that successfully reached their destination were then tossed towards the monkey toss goals. Any monkeys that missed the board were handed to the opposition team.

Extreme monkey toss in action.

A game of deception, running and hiding your monkeys, Alex once again proved that fast legs win matches, and it was Alex’s team that got the most monkeys on the board – enough to spell the word “Toss.”

Cladwhacking came next, Omar showing great agility and an a surprising amount of energy to help the yellows win.

We tried some more Missile Command to demonstrate it to the latecomers before space hopper cricket. This was really Alex and Karl’s game, Terminator also putting in an impressive performance to ensure their team thrashed Pete and Steph’s team 65-18.

Before the rest of the gang arrived. Kathy and Pete had been busily constructing a circle of trampettes for another new game – pinning them all into the rocky ground producing some language almost as colourful as the trailer.

Alex just loves throwing stuff. Dave, meanwhile, loves holding up nets.

The Circle of Doom is a form of dodgeball where the aim is to bounce the ball off the trampettes and hit your opponent, knocking them out.

Catching the ball was not allowed, which made things much more interesting because it goes against natural instinct.

Afterwards we invented another ball/trampette game. Quadrant Ball saw players standing in different segments of a circle, bouncing a ball of a trampette and attempting to make their opponents miss it.

When the ball was missed, the opponent in question had to move round one segment; if the ball bounced out, the thrower had to move round one segment. Once you had been round the circle and were back to your starting section, you were eliminated. Most impressive knock-out of the day was awarded to Pete, whose ball hit the side of the trampette and bounced over his own head, thus eliminating himself.

The Silly Army meets at King’s Park, Bournemouth, every Sunday afternoon from 1pm and every Wednesday from 7pm. Come along and join us. Visit our website for more information and more detailed description of the games we like to play.

Silly Army enter the magic circle

Argh, a scary rope circle! Don't get dragged in!

Despite dire forecasts of rain, Bournemouth sports club The Silly Army enjoyed a good turnout for games in King’s Park this Sunday. It was great to see some new faces; we really hope you enjoyed playing games with us and will come and join us again soon.

We gave the Monkey Toss monkeys a day off this week, but that didn’t mean the Sillies had to stand around waiting with nothing to do while we set up the pitch. Pete had been busy with felt tip pens and paper creating a Silly Bingo game (rumours that Pete is a pensioner have been greatly slightly not really exaggerated).

Everyone was given a card full of names of Silly people, some regular attendees and some rare sightings, and the objective was to cross off names as those people turned up to score a line. Silly Bingo ran for much of the session as members came and went. Rumours that the prize was “a bit crap” can’t possibly be commented on here…

Games proper began with hockey, where new players Nick and Miranda showed considerable skill, even with our silly soft ball. A hard game on a hard pitch, eventually the yellows seized victory.

Alan was busy filming us in action for the upcoming Christchurch Community Celebration and got some great action shots of dodgeball and double dodge, our second game of the day.

Argh! It's got me!!!

A clattering match of sticky ball came next, the yellow team soundly thrashing the blues by two games to nil, earning the blue team the nickname ‘Blosers’ – which was unfortunately going to dog them all day.

Crumbs and crows, the chasing game that’s the easiest way to confuse Silly Army members, ended dramatically with the entire crows side being converted to crumbs. This had never happened before and Crumbmaster Dave was unsure how to proceed – so we decided to play combi ball instead.

Several of the new players also proved very good at combi, which isn’t the easiest game to pick up. This was one of the closer contests of the day and despite a few players swapping sides during the game the blue team won a hard fought victory.

We played a few new games that involved mental and physical strength this week, one of the most entertaining of which was a ‘Circle of Death’ (or at least a circle of rope) on the ground. Everyone joined hands in a circle – aw! – but there was no love lost as the aim of the game was to drag your friends into the circle without ending up inside it yourself.

This isn’t easy, especially with sweaty hands, as you are both eliminated if you break the circle. Steph and Alex were the last two standing and agreed on a draw.

We also played a game called My View where the objective was to drag players over to your side of the line. Having been thoroughly stretched between Karl and Pete, your correspondent can confirm that she knows what being a wishbone feels like.

Pete enters the park through a portal. He can also be hired for jumping out of birthday cakes.

Much hilarity ensued when we tried to test our mental agility by playing a throwing and catching game. You were supposed to remember the order you threw and caught in, which proved just too much for most of our little brains. The throwing and catching race game proved a little easier to follow, except when the ball changed direction.

The space hoppers were out in force so we had a game of space hopper polo, in which the blues were once again trounced by the yellows, despite some valiant bouncing.

Keeping up the tradition of the day, the yellows also claimed a resounding victory in the cladwhacking. While some of the Silly Army cladwhacked, Lisa led the others in a hula hoop session, where some of Alan’s nifty moves were blamed for distracting the blue cladwhackers.

We ended the day with an improvised game of space hopper cricket, using a hockey stick in lieu of bales. Here at last the blue team shone, claiming a good, solid victory, largely down to an impressive innings from Rich and Pete.

"What, what, chaps. What is that over there?" "Well, sir, I'd say it's fun and silliness, every Sunday from 1pm."

The Silly Army meets at King’s Park, Bournemouth, every Sunday afternoon from 1pm and every Wednesday from 7pm. Come along and join us any time throughout the sessions. You’ll find us behind the playground at the Ashley Road entrance. Visit our website for more information and more detailed description of the games we like to play.

For this game, you need tea and a biscuit – English Football makes Silly Army debut

"It's really not that wet..." Duncan and Pete try to tempt Dave out to play.

Silly Army members had a busy week inventing games and building new toys in the run-up to last Sunday’s weekly games fixture.

While several club members got together for a game planning meeting, leaders of the pack Dave and Pete spent time making a set of large hula hoops. Hulaing and hula skipping races were just two of the games set to make their debut, along with a sport involving cups and saucers, tea, chocolate biscuits and ‘Excuse Me’ cards… More of which later.

So when, as we started to set up on Sunday, the heavens opened and what looked like sleet started to fall from the sky, there were rumblings of concern that not many people would turn up.

But adverse weather doesn’t stop the Silly Army.

One idea for the home made hula hoops - human hoopla.

The sleet and rain was quick to pass and while we waited for others to turn up, the early birds tested out the hula hoops, hula skipping and space hopper jousting (involving trying to knock each other off hoppers using cladwhackers).

Soon there were enough players for a game of four aside hockey and playing on a full-sized pitch meant we soon got warm. The low numbers meant everyone got a good run around and the yellow team won the first match of the day. Once again, in what is becoming a Silly Army tradition, Pete decided to swap sides halfway through the game to ensure he remained a loser.

Combi-ball was a victim of the strong wind that plagued King’s Park all afternoon, so the next game of the day was stickyball. Even here the wind posed problems, spinning the goals around and taking the balls in odd directions. Despite this, and despite Kathy entirely forgetting the rules, the blue team romped home to a comfortable victory.

"Hmm, this football is fun, but something's missing..."

After a spot of dodgeball, it was time to debut a new game, for which the aforementioned tea and biscuit were required. Christened “English Football”, this is a true gentleman’s pastime, with no running or tea spilling allowed. Each player has to carry their teacup and saucer without letting any tea spill – regular saucer checks were put in place to ensure no fouling occurred – while playing an otherwise “normal” game of football.

To ensure gentlemanly conduct reigned supreme, every player was also issued with an “Excuse me” card, which could only be played once but which, when used, meant whoever it was played on had to step aside.

"...Ah, yes, that's better." Every game of football should be played with tea.

Although it was generally agreed that this game would be more fun on a warmer day (our tea went cold) it was immensely entertaining and is sure to be added to the regular Silly Army repertoire. Once again, the blue team claimed victory.

After such a polite and dainty sport, it was only right our next game was something a little more physical. It was time to bring out the big, red tubes for cladwhacking. We hadn’t cladwhacked for a few weeks, so everyone was hungry for a bit of whacking action. Though the wind played havoc with our balls and cladwhackers, the blue team were victorious once more.

Bouncing in the face of adversity, the space hoppers came out to play once again this week, and we enjoyed a game of space hopper polo. It’s good to be able to report that there were no casualties in the hopper department this week (except Dave’s trousers…)  This game also saw the most dramatic comeback of the day. Proving this was a true blue Sunday, the blue team bounced – and we mean that literally – back from being 4-1 down to win 5-1.

A swift tea break and game of boules followed, along with some hula lessons for Kathy and Pete from hulaing experts Mimi and Steph.

For the uninitiated, this is cladwhacking in action.

There was still time for a couple more games, so we took the wind head on and played space hopper cricket, competing all against all. Pete was the clear winner, followed by Terminator second then Steph third. The rest of us failed miserably to score a single run!

We played another game of hockey, this time won by the red team and thankfully played on a shorter pitch, before it was time to pack up and head home.

Bournemouth’s Silly Army meets at King’s Park every Sunday afternoon from 1pm. Come along and join us any time throughout the afternoon. You’ll find us behind the playground at the Ashley Road entrance. Visit our website for more information.

Jumping through hoops, and eating lots of cake, at Silly Army

They're controlling that ball with the power of their minds...

The social side of the Silly Army sports and social club was out in force this weekend, as Cake Patrol went into overdrive. With chocolate cakes from Penny and ‘Terminator’ Alan, lemon drizzle from Kathy and chocolate crispies from Karl, there was more than enough cake to go around – along with the ubiquitous tea. And really, what better way is there to spend a Sunday afternoon than eating cake, drinking tea then burning it off with some extremely silly exercise?

First game of the day was sticky ball, where the supermarket giants Sainsbury’s and Tesco went head to head in the trial of the new sticky pads. Results of the test proved suitably inconclusive (in other words, all the new pads were suitably sticky) but we did particularly favour the new tiny balls, which could travel practically the length of the whole pitch.

The yellow team convincingly hammered the blues, leading to spurious claims by Pete some nameless members of the blue team that “Sticky ball doesn’t count.”

Dodgeball and double dodge followed, with much posing and being slapped in the face by large, inflatable balls.

The recently resurrected combi ball saw the dynamic combination of Ras and Karl ensuring another yellow victory, despite Helen and Kath’s valiant cheer leading efforts for the blues. Pete, however, enjoyed losing so much that he switched sides to the blue team halfway through – now there’s an example of true Silly Spirit.

Budge, the newly introduced ‘simple’ tag game that confuses everybody, turned into the ‘Make Simon run in circles’ game, and Ras again proved himself a champion chaser and chasee – even performing his classic dodgeball hop and still not getting caught.

A long and hard-fought game of hockey was won by the red team, after which it was time for tea and cake break.

The Silly Army were being filmed this week, by Alan for our website and by Mike for his journalism course. During the break Silly members old and new were interviewed on camera. It was also during the break that Karl showed off his amazing gymnastic skills by somersaulting through a combi-ball side goal. While we were wowed by his flexibility, he’d better be careful or we’ll turn this into a game!

Karl will jump through hoops for a slice of cake.

Popular demand saw the return of the space hoppers; lack of trailer space meant we had to blow them all up, turning our intermission into tea, cake and inflating break.

After the break, we tested out a new variant of tchoukball, involving four goals each with a trampoline. The verdict is still open on how well this game worked and general agreement was that it required a few tweaks to flow more smoothly. The teams had mixed around a lot but yellow was clearly the colour of the day as the yellow team again took victory.

More popular demand saw a sticky ball rematch, to give some of the late arrivals the chance to play this popular game. Everybody’s shooting seemed a little off target, perhaps because the new balls were smoother than usual, but Terminator eventually took matters into his own hands and scored the winner for the yellows.

Dreadnaught, not looking at all well as Pete takes him out for a test run.

The final game of the day was spacehopper polo, and it was in preparation for this that tragedy struck. While rounding up the hoppers, which were doing their utmost to escape, it was noticed that not only had Feck Off lost an eye, but Dreadnaught had been fatally wounded. Rather than watch him suffer an agonising death from a slow puncture, it was decided that euthanasia was by far the kindest option, and so it was that Pete vigorously pumped him until he popped.

Mike's convinced it's all going to be OK - but this isn't mouth to hopper resuscitation

After a moment’s reverence, in which a traditional Silly Army burial was eschewed in favour of resurrecting him as a carnival hat, space hopper polo rounded off the day with a final rousing yellow victory.

Despite calls for space hopper cricket, it turned out only Kathy and Terminator wanted to play, and two person cricket was never going to work. So instead, we played a fun game of ‘how the heck to we squeeze everything into the trailer’.

RIP, Dreadnaught - a moment of reflection for a fallen comrade, pumped to death (it's what he would have wanted...)

The Silly Army meets at King’s Park every Sunday afternoon from 1pm. Come along and join us any time throughout the afternoon. You’ll find us behind the playground at the Ashley Road entrance. Visit our website for more information – come on, be silly and play with us!

Sun, sea and Silly Army

Come to Silly Army. We give you hand maidens.*

OK, so maybe at King’s Park we’re a little far from the sea, but Bournemouth sports club The Silly Army made full use of the sunshine for their weekly dose of whacky sports and games last Sunday.

The Sillies were also delighted to find that the normally ubiquitous Bournemouth wind was all-but absent at the start of the afternoon, enabling us to bring out one of our favourite but underused toys, the giant frisbee.

Although there was only the slightest breeze, the unpredictable nature of the frisbee’s flightpath led to a much running around staring at the sky, quite often in the wrong direction.

Playing scramble rules (by which the first to a grounded frisbee gains possession) gave the game a real competitive edge, although scoring proved rather tricky again on account of the wind. Eventually, and with many of the older members exhausted, the blues claimed victory.

After some dodgeball and double dodge, another old favourite was reintroduced when we took to the pitch for combi ball. Combi ball, for the uninitiated, combines netball, football and three different types of goals.

Switching players around proved fatal for the blue team, who were soundly beaten by the yellows. However, the blues were quick to console themselves with some of Gemma’s delicious chocolate crispy cakes.

The gorgeous weather meant anyone who fancied a break from running around was able to sit enjoying a chat and picnic in the sunshine. Just make sure you bring plenty of water or juice with you – you’ll need it!

Next we played a game that most six year olds can master, but many of the Silly Army struggled with. Called budge, it’s a form of tag that involves standing in lines and passing a “budge” down the line to the front player, who is then chased until they reach the end of another line.

We practise our ball skills, even during tea break.

Many of the ranks were distracted from this game by a pitch invasion of what looked suspiciously like town planners intending to invade our green and pleasant land and cover it with an evil ice rink. However, after a kamikaze mission by Glorious Leader Pete, we established they were in fact quite amicable and planning a community festival.

After more refuelling, the teams took to the pitch once more for a game of sticky ball. Because of a large turnout of players and even sharp shooters Ras and Helen finding themselves off target more than usual, this was the longest sticky ball game in living memory and gave everyone the chance for a really good runaround. Eventually, the yellow team claimed victory once more.

Crumbs and crows, the chase game guaranteed to confuse everybody, was next, with additional silliness added by chasing each other while hopping like a rabbit, walking like a zombie or mincing.

We stopped again to take onboard some tea and cake while Alan 3, the only one who remembered to bring a chair, enjoyed some cake and grapes from his army of handmaidens.

Then it was time for hockey, where the yellow team unleashed their secret weapon in the shape of Robert and comprehensively won the game.

Turn those frowns upside down at Silly Army!

The last game of the day was four person tennis, in which Team Terminator unleashed their secret weapon in the shape of Pete playing his ‘Loser’s banjo’ (that’s not a euphemism) to distract the other team. The tactic worked, although many of the balls didn’t, and Team Terminator beat Team Helen two games to one.

Bournemouth’s Silly Army meets at King’s Park every Sunday afternoon from 1pm. Come along and join us any time throughout the afternoon. You’ll find us behind the playground at the Ashley Road entrance. Visit our website for more information – come on, be silly and play with us! Just make sure you bring plenty of water and sun cream if the weather is sunny.

*You won’t really get hand maidens. But you will have fun.

Silly Army hop to it

Lining up for a heat of the Hopper Grand National

And they’re off… Forget the Grand National; it was all about space hoppers this weekend as the Silly Army staged the Hopper National, the world’s least famous steeplechase, on the hallowed King’s Park turf.

The 3.30 at King’s Park was won by Pete, riding thoroughbred Tally Oh. Of this historic victory, the most successful jockey in the history of space hopper racing said… nothing, as it took too long to get his breath back.

Young blood Giles and Jez also enjoyed victories in other races, but Pete retained his crown, even proving that his expert hoppering can beat a man running the course – as Giles found to his cost. Further proof then that there is no other Silly Army member so skilled at sitting on their backside…

A man with legs; a man on a space hopper. Who will win this epic battle...

...Why the man on the hopper, of course. The Hopper King reigns eternal

The hoppers were back later in the day for a traditional English game of cricket. Using a space hopper as a bat and a fitness ball as a cricket ball, a jolly spiffing time was had by all (even though there was no tea; there was cake). Team Lisa thrashed Team Dave 32 runs to 15, largely thanks to Ras’s ability to whack the ball into the car park – even Sweetpea herself attempting to make a catch but ultimately heading the ball in the wrong direction.

Hockey was a popular choice of game on Sunday, played at the start and end of the day. The yellow team enjoyed victory in the first match, including a superbly dirty goal that involved holding down the red keeper. The reds, however, came back and won the second game using slightly cleaner tactics.

The arrival of new bibs in bright red and green caused predictable confusion and the prospect of playing sticky ball with three teams instead of the usual two, as we began the game with reds, blues and greens on the pitch. Eventually deciding on greens and reds, three tough games saw the reds claim victory, despite the fact their ‘medium’ sized bibs were more akin to oversized summer dresses on many of the players.

Cladwhacking was the usual excuse for some friendly chasing and beating each other with soft foam tubes – a Silly Army tradition – and was won by the greens, although by the end there was less clad and more whacking as we all began to beat each other with joyous abandon. When Dave made the mistake of collapsing in a heap, the game transformed into ‘Whack A Dave.’* Methinks he’ll choose his sunbathing spot more carefully in the future.

This is perhaps our strangest sport from a spectator’s perspective, as several tube wielding players gather round another who has bent over to collect the ball, ever-ready for that player to make a move so they can start whacking him/her.

It's just not cricket... (It's space hopper cricket)

We also played dodgeball, double dodge with a strange pink sausage, and resurrected space invaders – which saw another resounding victory for the green team, and a few spectacular own goals.

Making the most of the weather, Silly Army members also enjoyed some time sitting around socialising, aided and abetted by cake and cookies (special thanks to Gemma for the lemon drizzle!)

Get fat, get fit – the choice is yours. At Silly Army you can combine both.

Bournemouth’s Silly Army meets at King’s Park every Sunday afternoon from 1pm. Come along and join us any time throughout the afternoon. You’ll find us behind the playground at the Ashley Road entrance. Visit our website for more information – come on, be silly and play with us!

*Your correspondent would like to clarify that no Daves were hurt in the making of this afternoon.

Playing away all weekend

That's just not cricket - no really, it isn't. It's cladwhacking and it's great fun.

The last weekend of March was a very Silly one indeed for the Silly Army faithful, many of whom started playing on Friday evening and didn’t stop until Sunday afternoon.

As well as the weekly games at Kings Park, the Silly Army enjoy a great social scene and like nothing more than meeting regularly to shoot each other – what better way to spend your Friday evening? We’re talking, of course, about LaserQuest, an occasional fixture in the Silly calendar. Joining forces with members of The Improvables drama group, the Sillies enjoyed three rounds of ‘friendly’ fire – the highlight of the night for many seeing esteemed leader Pete get beaten by a girl. Twice.

Saturday saw a trip to Hengistbury Head for a birthday celebration and more games, including good old fashioned British bulldog and not quite so traditional (but just as good) pig rounders. Like many Silly Army games, pig rounders evolved from the need to have something to play with. After the rounders ball disintegrated following some particularly vigorous whacking, it was almost time for tantrums as we wondered how to finish the game.

Luckily, the squeezy pig that had been acting as a base stepped in and bravely sacrificed himself for the cause, losing his squeaker and stuffing in the process, but allowing us to play on. The game was finished and the tantrums saved for the dog that weed on our ball bag (enough to make anyone angry).

After this, we played the sitting down and eating chocolate cake game, a particular favourite of mine.

Many Sillies reconvened for board games a few hours later, involving eating a lot more chocolate cake, lying on the floor and contorting each other into strange positions.

Heavy rain was forecast for Sunday afternoon, but Mother Nature smiled on the Silly Army once more as the showers stayed off until the last games of the day. Being able to use two pitches was a real bonus as it enabled us to spread our games out more, and a small but dedicated few met to play a range of net and field games.

We kicked off with a game of frisbee volleyball, quite a challenge in the wind. Hockey – played on an extra-long pitch – was a close-fought affair, eventually won by the reds.

Dodgeball was followed by a vigorous sticky ball contest, won by the yellow team despite Lisa’s vision of a blue victory. A slower game of dead ball always brings out the wicked side of the Sillies as they decide which of their friends to knock the arms and legs off, and a final runaround of cladwhacking saw the strain of three days solid of playing starting to take its toll on some of the older members.

The last net game of the day, a kind of four person tennis, saw Dave’s team soundly thrash Pete’s team and order was restored in the world once more (not that I’m biased).

The Silly Army meets at Kings Park every Sunday afternoon, on the pitches opposite the pavilion. Click here to contact us, and come along to play with us soon!

Come rain, come shine, come have a Silly time…

One of our slower games, the facial hair growing contest. These two have been here since 1912.

Despite the hideous weather of Friday and Saturday, sun shone on Kings Park last Sunday and the Silly Army basked in its shiny glory for more crazily sporty (or should that be sportily crazy?) fun and games.

The Boscombe Monsoon of the preceding two days may have been partially responsible for the lower than expected turnout, but there were still plenty of willing victims players for a series of fun games.

We kicked off with a good, hard cladwhacking, with a few tweaks to the rules in an attempt to prevent an all out whack-fest like we saw last week. It worked and the game flowed more smoothly, although I’m pleased to report there was still plenty of opportunity to beat your friends with a large tube. Once again the yellow team hammered the blue team, which is becoming something of a Silly Army tradition.

Dodgeball gave your corespondent her moment of glory by successfully knocking over one of the esteemed leaders, while Ras amused everybody by performing a daredevil hop – only to eliminate himself by hopping out of the circle before a ball had been thrown.

The blue team staged a shocking comeback in the next game, stickyball, thanks to great team work and Helen’s sharp shooting. We then played deadball, a kind of sadist’s dodgeball that involves all against all in an attempt to knock off opponents’ arms and legs before eventually killing them (all of these metaphorical, of course). Mike proved so good at this game that I believe he’s still up there bouncing around that circle now…

Hockey was up next and the reds staged a valiant comeback, but sharp shooter Steph and the rest of the yellows took the glory. There was just time for some spacehopper polo before everybody’s legs gave out and hometime once again came far too soon.

Come rain, come shine, come invasion of evil space robots, you’ll always find the Silly Army at King’s Park on Sunday afternoons. Come along and join us – you’re guaranteed to smile.

Click for directions.