Rain fails to stop play at Silly Army

Despite the torrential downpour at noon on Sunday, The Silly Army carried on regardless for their weekly games session in King’s Park. It takes more than a spot of rain to stop the Sillies, and noble trooper Silly Dave even dragged himself from his sick bed to join in the games, along with the formalities of the Silly Army EGM to reorganise the committee (a crueler person might say the committee was never very organised in the first place!)

Though initially it was just Dave and K in the park contemplating the rain clouds, they were soon joined by Pete and the trailler of toys – always useful when having a games session. Steph was next to brave the weather and we set about setting up the pitches.

Many had been in doubt that games would run because of the weather, but Pete mocked their lack of faith that the gods would shine the sun on the Silly Army, and rightly so as no sooner had we set the pitches up the sun came out.

The ground was somewhat sodden, and someone or another had decided to set up the volleyball net next to a large puddle of mud, which proved a formidable challenge for any players on that side of the net as they tried to avoid falling in it. Luckily, they all succeeded, although the ball was not so fortunate and was soon a truly sticky ball.

Greg proved something of a one-man machine at Big Tennis, throwing himself all over the court and skillfully avoiding landing in the mud. Meanwhile, K proved she should probably stick to playing with her left hand…

When enough players arrived, we took to a slightly less muddy pitch for Hockey. The ground was still rather slippery and almost everyone ended up falling over, some several times. This was a tough match with only nine players, and Jez soon became the most coveted player on the pitch as he swapped from red to yellow and back again.

In the end it was the red team who won 5-4.

Next up was Sticky Ball, where the damp conditions again caused havoc as some of the balls refused to stick. Because there were so few players we opted for the passing version of the game that Greg had dreamt up – all players on a team had to touch the ball before an attempt could be made at scoring. With an extra player and better marking, the yellow team were easy winners, two matches to nil.

We stopped for tea and held the EGM to elect the committee to their new positions. Dave was elected Chairman, Pete Treasurer and K Secretary and Press/Publicity Officer. Official business over, we could then get on with the important matter of drinking tea.

After tea and Suggestive Biscuits, we opted for another running game and played Double Hoop Netball. Scoring proved challenging for both teams, although again Jez was the star player. The blue team proved better at marking and tactics and went on to win a comfortable victory.

We played Splat, before another couple of games of Big Tennis – in which the combination of Pete, K and Terminator proved no match for Paul and Jez. When the net collapsed we decided it was time to pack up early – unfortunately for Robert who turned up just as we were getting ready to leave.

Wednesday night saw the first indoor games session of the winter, at the YMCA in Bournemouth. Despite initial worries that we wouldn’t have many players, turnout was excellent and we played a range of net games, including Bouncing Volleyball, SurReal Tennis and Frisbee Toss.

Several balls and frisbees were temporarily lost to the balcony, while new player Dean was almost lost out of the fire exit when he fell over backwards.

A game of Netball got everybody hot and sweaty with lots of running around. Both teams were evenly matched and it was the green team who were the first to ten points.

Schoonball, a terrifically scary form of Dodgeball using plastic racquets to defend yourself from a deluge incoming balls, was the last game of the night and was an exhilarating way to end the evening.

Thanks to everyone who came to Wednesday games; we’re going to make it a weekly occurrence.

The Silly Army will be meeting this Sunday from 1pm in King’s Park. Check out our website for more details.

Silly Army: Return of the Machine (and Cladwhacking)

It was an historic day indeed for The Silly Army last Sunday as we saw the return of two top players who’d been missing for some weeks. Helen, aka the Score Machine, had recovered enough from her Volleyball injury to rejoin the troops for some games, and it just so happened she turned up in the middle of her specialist game, StickyBall.

Two machines: one game - StickyBall.

We also welcomed back Ras, who had been out of the country for the last month. Dodgeball just isn’t the same without his hopping, skipping and impossible dodging. It was also great to see Tori, Viv and Rob, some of our newest recruits, back for some more punishment fun; even better they had brought more new members with them.

This was probably just as well as some of the longer serving members were flagging. Barry was somewhat worse for wear after a day and night on the lager, while Chris was feeling so poorly he barely played at all. The Silly Flu also seemed to be plaguing some of the members, with K and Dave coughing and spluttering their way through the afternoon.

As is the way these days, we began with Big Tennis. The wind is certainly an advantage, or disadvantage depending on what side of the net you’re standing on, in our new court – as is the fact Pete can’t lay out an even sized court if you gave him a measuring tape. One side is always bigger than the other.

Terminator suggested swapping ends of the pitch halfway through, which certainly helped even out the scoring, but for the second week in a row we ended on one game each.

Big Tennis is The Silly Army's most popular game.

With fresh legs arriving we played Hockey, and snot-nosed K was given a real workout in the red goal. The yellow team were by far the stronger on paper, but the reds battled hard, Mike, Greg and Pete proving nifty players despite Greg being repeatedly de-sticked. Terminator, Ras and Steph were on fire for the yellows, however, and despite a valiant battle by the reds it was the yellows who won the match.

After some Dodgeball it was time for StickyBall, and the game had just got underway when the Machine turned up to lend her talents to the blue team. The fact half the blues were distracted by chatting while the yellows scored three goals in succession didn’t help the blue campaign, and the yellows seized the game quickly.

It was time for a very special tea and cake break as Mrs Doyle’s tea shop was this week accompanied by Dave’s Fantastic Bakery – a chocolate cake whipped up for Karl and Richard’s birthdays. We also had some vegan cupcakes from Mrs Doyle, so it was a very full Silly Army that took to the pitch to play CombiBall when tea break was over.

A belly full of tea and cake does not particularly complement running around chasing balls, and the greedy bunch on the blue team were soon feeling the effects of their halftime binge, the yellows with super-scoring Ras and Dave going quickly ahead.

However, the blues began to fight back with some great shooting by the Machine and impressive football goals from K and newbie Emma. The most impressive goal of the day has to be shared, however: Jez managed to boot the ball all the way from his own half into the open goal. Moments later, proving that anything a man can do a girl can do better, Steph did the same from further up the pitch. The blues were back in the game.

Sadly, despite these super shots, it was not enough to outsmart the yellow team, who won comfortably with a high goal.

How to play Tchouckball. Sort of.

A quick game of Splat enabled everyone to cool down before another old friend returned in the shape of Cladwhacking. This is a game that divides the Silly Army – you either love it or hate it. But many of the newer members gave it a go and got stuck in whacking each other with foam tubes. This time, it was the blues who were victorious.

Monkey Toss was next, again popular with those who hadn’t played it before, and becoming a real old favourite. Ras’s taunting monkey waving always entertains, and some clever diversion techniques by Pete’s team meant they were the top tossers.

Up for more running around, we played Tchouckball, a tough game as numbers were starting to drop off. The yellow team proved most successful at working the pitch, with particular skill from Terminator.

Once again we wrapped up with more Big Tennis before heading home for dinner.

The Silly Army meets every Sunday in King’s Park from 1pm. Come and join us!

Space hopper 100m – close, but no cigar

On Saturday 18 September, a Silly Army delegation enjoyed a day out at Fit Christchurch. While there they attempted to break the World Record for 100m on a space hopper, and invited members of the public to give it a try too.

Pete prepares his inflatable friends for the day ahead.

Throughout the day several members, and hundreds of members of the public young and old, bounced along the 100m track, accompanied by Silly Army foot patrol sprinting (in some cases backwards) to time and film the record attempts.

Steph and Pete proved they were the best bouncers, Steph just a second off the record time of 30.2 seconds and Pete a few points of a second later in their best runs – time to get into training; if they hop everywhere for the next year they’ll smash the record no problem. Now may be the time to gloss over the fact that on what was probably their best time (and quite possibly a world record breaker) not only did K and Alex manage to mess up their ‘synchronised’ timers, but cameraman Alan also missed the start of the filming…

So the Silly Army were close, but no cigar to the 100 metre world record. We will all be in serious training for our next attempt, even if some of us are just learning how to use a stopwatch.

The camera crew prime themselves for action, though they're missing one vital ingredient...

The space hoppers put in an appearance at Sunday games, although anyone who had been to Fit Christchurch was not in the mood for much bouncing.

Sunday also saw The Silly Army moving into their new home at the far side of the park (after being told off for wearing out the football pitches!). Hammering in the goal posts, we were pleased to discover this rocky outpost was just as full of stone and strange lumps of metal as the rest of the park – so we soon felt at home. There is also a large pile of woodchips next to our new pitch, which gives a fresh, pine scent to the whole area and provides a great landmark to point members towards. Although it was quite entertaining watching Sam driving round in circles for ten minutes trying to find us…

We started games, as ever, with Big Tennis, where dynamic Karen proved a real asset to Steph’s team, propelling them to a resounding victory despite being recruited half way through the game. However, changing ends proved this team’s undoing, allowing Pete’s team to take the second game. Unusually for The Silly Army, we agreed to draw because there were now increasing numbers of people and it was time to play a runaround.

A large queue of record attempters quickly formed.

There then ensued the longest game of Hockey in Silly Army history (perhaps we should try a world record attempt at that…)

As more and more players came to join us, we had to extend the pitch to accommodate them all. Pete and K had laid a short, fat pitch, which meant there was a lot of midfield battling but not many goals. We stopped to extend the pitch, skilfully avoiding a fox egg that was now millimetres from the yellow goal, and played on.

The yellow team went ahead by two goals, but despite protestation from the reds that the sides weren’t evenly matched, Karen got two goals back to make things even.

The yellows scored another, while Dave for the reds kept pressuring the yellow goal. Even more players turned up and for a long time the action was contained in the newly extended midfield. About an hour into the game, Pete abandoned his yellow defensive position to go and lay out a Dodgeball pitch, in the hope that someone would score soon. However, he returned to position just at the right time to prevent a sneaky red attack.

Eventually, Dave and Pete decided that the “next goal wins” rule would apply – perhaps a little unfairly on the yellows, who were a goal up at the time. K in the yellow goal was not going to let anything through and at last the yellows scored the winner. After more than an hour of playing, all the players should take credit for a hard-fought, evenly matched game.

Christchurch: Where hoppers go to die. We suffered several casualties in the field.

It was time for something more sedate, and the Dodgeball circle that had been laid out earlier came in useful. Pete unveiled his new balls – one pink, one purple, both with silly slogans written on them and the purple one prone to deflating. Double Dodge was the order of the day and much squealing, jumping around and artful dodging ensued.

With so many players it was decided to play another runaround, and Stickyball was the order of the day. The yellows won the first game before Karen defected to the blues, helping in no small way to their victory in the second game. Many of the new players were particularly good at this game – it’s a shame our best new catcher was visiting from Scotland!

Both teams fought hard in the deciding game, but it was the blues who snatched it.

After tea break, it was time to mount hoppers once more (after we’d blown the accursed things up!) Space Hopper Polo was the name of the game, but being full of tea and biscuits and with the best hopperers still hoppered out from Fit Christchurch, it was going to be a short game.

Dave won something in the raffle. We didn't realise it was a Silly Army personal shopper...

In fact, it was a one-goal wonder, and it was the blues that scored that all-important point, much to the chagrin of Karl on the yellow team, the only player with enough bounce to play on.

After that exertion there was enough time for a quick game of Splat, the shooting game, in which K and Pete managed to draw as losers by shooting each other at exactly the same time in the final duel. Then there was just enough time to play more Big Tennis as the numbers began to dwindle before it was time to pack up and head home for another week.

The Silly Army – back in the park (and a whack in the back!)

The Silly Army were back in the park at last on Sunday, following a few weather and event enforced absences. For some, it had clearly been too long away, as legs, bottoms and various other body parts were mysteriously mistaken for hockey balls by certain players…

Giles shows how you're meant to play hockey - whacking the ball, not each other!

It was great to welcome some new members who had heard about the Sillies through the Bournemouth Echo. We quickly tempted them to join in with a game of Big Tennis (everyone’s favourite game right now) and they were so good we think they must be Big Tennis pros in disguise.

Steph and K both elected to play this game left-handed due to injuries, though both hoped not to injure their one remaining good arm. The ‘Kack-Handed Duo’, as they quickly branded themselves, were both on the same side and formed a great wonky armed allegiance, which turned out to be a winning formula in the first game. They came from several points down to win the first game. Terminator’s team were more successful in the rematch.

By now we had enough players to enjoy a run around game, so opted for Hockey. That was the cue for the rain gods to open the heavens upon us, and late arrival Lisa very wisely stayed in the car until the rain had stopped while the rest of us ran around getting wet. Lisa’s arrival was all that was needed to spur the red team into action, for no sooner had she set foot on the pitch than the reds had scored.

The yellows soon got one back, a wet ball and continued finger injuries making goal keeping rather tricky. Helen arrived to join the yellows, battling hard as always. However, we fear she may need to take a trip to SpecSavers as she mistook Dave’s leg and Pete’s thigh for the ball… Either that or she was just taking the excuse to give them a whack, and quite frankly, who wouldn’t? Whichever it was this was the cause of much hilarity, and thankfully both our esteemed leaders are thick skinned. K took a similar approach in the red goal, whacking Greg instead of the ball to concede a point.

It was the red team who were most on fire and they took victory. Pete decided we should only play to five points, probably so nobody else hit him with a hockey stick.

Dodgeball - a gentler game with silly poses.

Next up was a quieter game of Dodgeball, which our new players again proved good at. Then it was time to bib up for Stickyball and unfortunately for the blue team this was another yellow team massacre. Good passing and communication in the yellow team might be the secret, along with some excellent marking and players who can really jump.

Wet balls meant sticking was a bit of an issue for both teams, though the blues’ claim that their top goal wasn’t sticky was poo-pooed somewhat when the teams changed ends.

After Sticky Ball it was time for some tossing and Monkey Toss was the order of the day. Steph and K were named team captains and chose their favourite tossers. We went back to the running approach in lieu of the mincing we tried a few weeks ago, and with three runners it was hard to get monkeys through let alone toss them.

K’s team’s tossing was woefully off target, not helped at all by the wind, while Steph managed some very artistic monkey positioning. Team K came close to forcing a draw but it was Steph’s squad of top tossers who won the day.

Tossers.

Pete has been building strange metal things again, this time high, brightly coloured netball style goals with hoops on both sides. We are inventing a game provisionally called B’stard Ball, in which you will have a ‘Good’ and ‘Bad’ goal at each end. However, for this week, to practice using the nets we played a netball style game.

Helen was by far man of the match, with excellent shooting skills that were rarely off target. Pete’s team went for too many big point shots outside the exclusion zone early on, and also suffered from playing into the sunlight. Mimi and K made some good moves down the wing and Greg was the sharpest shooter for Pete’s team, but Helen’s side also had Kev, a midfield dynamo who seems able to intercept just about every shot going. Pete’s side did battle back valiantly, even with their captain off the pitch tackling children who were trying to steal our monkeys, but Helen’s shooting skills could not be bested.

After a tea break, we split into two groups – K and the boys played Missile Command, where Pete’s team excelled, while Lisa and Helen led the rest of the group in more Big Tennis.

As numbers began to dwindle when people’s tummies started rumbling for dinner, we all ended up on the Big Tennis court. The dynamic duos of Mimi and Terminator and Barry and Dave played the last game of the day, Mimi and Terminator claiming victory.

Pedal Car Alan and the rest of the team will be in action at Blackbushe Pedal Car race.

While the rest of us packed up, Mimi and Dave were left behind in the park with a volleyball to play basketball with – there’s no stopping the Silly Army when they get started!

The Silly Army members Pete, K, Helen, Rich, Alan and Steph are away at the Blackbushe Pedal Car championships this weekend – wish us luck! However, Dave will be running the regular session in King’s Park from 1pm on Sunday, so come along and play with him!

Silly Army 15 August

Better late than never… The Silly Army enjoyed another sunblushed games session on Sunday 15 August, tempered by the fact that nobody remembered to bring the tea.

Big Tennis has proved the success story of the summer, becoming just about everyone’s favourite game. It just goes to show how much fun can be had with a high net, old tennis racquets and some giant yellow balls. Popular on Wednesday nights, the game is becoming increasingly prevalent on Sundays too, often being played at the start and end of Silly Army sessions.

So it was with Big Tennis we kicked off (or batted off? Whacked off?!) on Sunday 15 August. Whether it’s the passing, the large balls or the grunting that makes this game quite so popular nobody knows, although it’s suspected to be a combination of all three. There is certainly nothing else so guaranteed to send Helen into fits of hysterics, and nowhere else Chris would get away with shouting “Show us your grunt!”

Three games in and it was Pete’s team who proved the most adept at handling the big balls.

As it was hot and sunny, the silliest thing to do would be to run around. So that’s exactly what we did, with a hard-fought (some might say finger-breaking…) game of Hockey. The red and yellow teams were quite evenly matched but Karen B’s technique of limping around by the red goal, distracting the goalie then whacking in shots, proved rather effective – rather more effective than Reece shooting into his own goal for the reds! So it was the yellows that were the first to ten points and thus the wieners of the week.

Dodgeball was up next and despite the wind the Sillies played so hard they burst the dodgeball – another successful ‘cleaning out the garage’ mission complete. Someone should really start checking the length of Pete’s fingernails.

An old favourite, Sticky Ball, followed and the blue team continued its impressive losing streak. The amazing comback from being 2-0 down to win 3-2 was clearly just a glitch in the otherwise well-oiled Bluesers machine. With Sticky Ball pros such as Steph and Helen against you, it’s always going to be a tough game.

Next up it was time to get the strange new bats out, lovingly crafted from pipe and netting by Dave, Pete, Steph and K and quickly destroyed by the Sillies’ vigorous play. The game, of course, was Impossiball, which few people understand and fewer seem able to score at. Still, the unpredictability of where the ball will go (if you can even pick it up) and the crazy runaround nature of the game is exactly what Silly Army is about and we had much fun not scoring.

Particular kudos goes to Terminator, who was playing with the prototype larger netted bat, and managed to catch the ball between two bits of netting. The natural decision of how to proceed was to whack the ball out again.

This was a game where the blues, eventually, excelled, and we’ve managed to get a few rules nailed at last to make Impossiball a little more playable.

A question on many of our lips most of the time: Who are the best tossers in Silly Army? The strategic challenge and monkey chucking game Monkey Toss was up next and this week it was proved to be Dave’s team who were Top Tossers, despite Pete’s team acquiring an extra player midway through the match. At least most of Dave’s team’s success has to be attributed to the fact that, with Karen B carrying an injury, we decided that instead of running in this game we’d mince. Despite Pete’s best efforts as a Benny Hill body double, Dave’s mincing excelled all previously set standards and so it was his team claimed victory.

Dave was on a winning streak and, after some painfully misplaced sticks (naming no names except Terminator) Team Dave captured the castle and won Kubb too.

There was time for some Bouncing Volleyball, although by now K’s broken finger was making its presence felt. With double injuries for K and Karen B, it was no surprise that Pete’s team won.

All too soon it was time to pack up and go home/to A&E for another week.

The following Wednesday session saw the best turnout of players all summer. Let’s hope the weather and shortening days allow us a few more midweek games sessions before autumn truly sets in.

Come and join The Silly Army in King’s Park from 1pm this Sunday. Click here for directions.

Seven hours Silly – Silly Army keep it up for seven hours

“You know, we’ve been playing for seven hours,” remarked Lee at the end of another mammoth Silly Army sports and games session on Sunday. Indeed we had and it just goes to show, even in sweltering temperatures, Silly Army men and ladies can keep it up for seven hours – now that’s stamina.

Sunday was a scorcher and a day for net games.

Because it was another very hot day, the Sillies opted to play a lot of net games. We also spent a lot of time squirting each other with water pistols – very refreshing!

But we started with the trampette game invented by Mimi, K and Pete a few weeks ago, involving a dodgeball trapped between two trampettes, with the object being to bounce a ball off either the trampettes or the dodgeball so the team on the opposite side can’t catch it.

The unpredictability of the bounce from the dodgeball adds great entertainment value as the ball frequently bounces over the head of the player throwing it – which Alex learned to his cost.

Dave and Pete’s team took a clear lead while Alex and Lee learned how to control their balls, but eventually their team battled back. Mike’s mere presence on the pitch spurred them on to victory.

Next we limbered up to the big net. Volleyball and Big Tennis were the order of the day, with the Dave-Pete-Lee triangle proving a successful position.

When at last we decided to brave the heat and play a runaround game, it was suggested that we picked teams for hockey the way it was done in school. Because he suggested it, Lee was naturally left on the bench until last.

Terminator’s red team contained a lot of the better hockey players, including Steph and Pete. However, everyone’s game was heat-affected, and it was Alex’s yellow team who won the match.

The yellow and blue bibs had been eschewed by giant reds and greens this week, which cause a moral dilemma for ‘I’m always yellow’ Terminator. Despite the fact he had to be red, Termy’s team were still winners at Sticky Ball.

It was time to break for tea and us tea lovers were delighted that Mrs Doyle’s kitchen now contained a third flask, meaning there was ample to go around. Giles, the man with endless energy, literally skipped tea break by skipping through it.

Tead up, caked up we played some more Big Tennis while the pitch was set up for tchoukball.

Tchouckball: it's not as scary as it looks.

Tchoukball made a welcome return after some weeks’ absence. We had to go over the rules again as many of the group hadn’t played before.

Tchouk involves bouncing an odd shaped ball off a trampette for another member of your team to catch. Again, the bounce of the ball can be deceptive, which makes this game quite challenging.

The red team got off to a flying start but the greens started to catch up as they got a better grasp of the game and K made a series of good interceptions.

The closest game of the day was Monkey Toss. Pete’s team nearly peaked too soon by carrying too many monkeys too early; Giles’s team even had to do two runs in a row at one point. However, their tossing let them down and they underestimated the cunningness of The Silly Army’s very own Dick Dastardly and his team.

We're a bunch of (monkey) tossers.

Once Team Pete had some monkeys back, their superior tossing ability meant a draw was forced. There was only one thing to do: toss off!

Pete’s team got more on the board and earned the coveted title of Top Tossers.

A rotating tennis game led to much confusion and an eventual pitch invasion, where more Big Tennis was played.

We broke again for tea and then tried a missile game, Missile Attack. With tennis balls on top of cones we lobbed missiles at each other with gay abandon. Pete’s team led until Termy’s team called for a change of course due to wind advantage.

Space hopper cricket came next, with Terminator, Giles, Steph and Spencer recording scores while the rest of us went out for nothing.

More net games were played into the evening, with Long Tennis making an appearance after we had packed up the court, and we played on until pensioners Pete and Dave collapsed in a heap. We then sat around in the park for a while enjoying a beautiful evening.

Running out of batteries can be a problem for older members. Here, Steph ponders where she's left the Pete Charger.

On Wednesday we had a low turnout, but six of us meant there was enough for three-a-side volleyball (which Steph’s team were champions of, staging a dramatic comeback twice in a row to enable Termy’s team to twice snatch defeat from the jaws of victory).

Greg suggested playing Side by Side Hockey, with two goals beside each other. It was another game of dramatic comebacks, as the red team fought back from several goals down to win 10-9. Chants of ‘In your face’ echoed around King’s Park.

Sticky Ball was more of a cut and dry affair, although we did introduce a new rule for three-a-side that every player on a team had to touch the ball before a goal could be scored. This forced players to think more about their own position and where to throw the ball, and ensured everyone played an active role in the game. The Mixed T-shirts beat the Silly T-shirts 3-1.

Afterwards we moved into the car park, playing basketball, where the Silly T-shirts were once again beaten by the Mixed Ts.

There is no Silly Army in King’s Park for the next two Sundays. On Sunday August 1 we will be taking part in the Mudeford Lifeboat Fun Day Raft Race in aid of the RNLI/Mudeford Life Boat. The theme is Chimp’s Tea Party and K and Mimi are busy making monkeys of themselves, or making monkey masks at least. If you’re on the team please grab some kind of eveningwear from your nearest charity shop; if you’re not on the team please come down and support us at Mudeford Quay from 11am on Sunday.

Want to look this dashing? The Department of Rather Stupid Outfits can help.

The following week Silly Army will be taking part in the Bournemouth Carnival and the theme will be Silly Sports. The Department of Rather Stupid Outfits are working on things to wear here too – let us know if there is a costume you would like and we will do our best to make it.

Games take place as usual next Wednesday and we’re on the beach on Saturday. Check the email updates and website for details.

Netting fun with the Silly Army

After a week’s break for the Pedal Kart Grand Prix, Bournemouth sports club for adults The Silly Army were keen to get back on the hallowed turf of King’s Park (before any evil planners stick a nasty ice rink on top of it).

Jolly hockey sticks.

Pete, Dave, K and Steph had been getting crafty in the past few weeks, making new uber-long netted racquets that look suspiciously like the things used to scoop poo out of swimming pools (yes, they really are called poo nets) and The Sillies spent the first couple of hours working out games to play with them.

We tried a variant of giant tennis, which resulted in several headings of the ball, and which Lee and K found easier when they abandoned the net. Then we tried a lacrosse style boys versus girls match (thanks to Kiwi Alex, Ras and Reece for becoming honorary girls to even out the numbers – we trust the surgery wasn’t too painful). This was a very experimental game, which we played for an hour and ten minutes with several different rules and methods of scoring. Ultimately it was the girls’ team who were the first to five in possibly the longest game we have ever played (our first session of Kubb not withstanding).

Though it needs work, this was a very popular game with the girls, perhaps because the large, unwieldy racquets eliminated height and speed advantage.

Sunday was a hot day so we decided to cool off with a spot of dodgeball before playing sticky ball. This was a closely contested game with a frustrating lack of sticking in the goals at one end. The yellows won the first game, the blues the second before the yellows rallied and took the match, with plenty of ‘In your face’ signals to the bluesers.

Hockey was another long slog game, with two teams that didn’t look even on paper but managed to successfully stop each other from scoring for a long time.

Pete and Ras put on a particularly impressive display for the reds while Steph and the other Alex were on form for the yellows.

This was another game that went on for a long time, the unexpected scorcher of a day taking its toll on ability to hit the ball and on tempers, which got a little frayed in the heat. However, we were all soon friends again after a break for tea and biscuits.

Next up was a game of Monkey Toss, in which Lee’s team challenged Ras’s team to find the best tossers in the Silly Army. Monkey Toss is a sneaky, stealthy game which relies on your ability to hide your monkey, evade capture and then toss your monkey off the goal line at the end.

Though it was a close call once more, it was eventually established that Lee’s team were the top tossers.

Come and mess around in the sea with us on Saturday.

After a brief spot of Big Ball Tennis we played Giant Tennis, although we kept the pitch a little shorter this time. Days as warm as Sunday were made for net games and we finished off with a spot of badminton at the high net, rotating players on and off.

A few of the Sillies stayed out playing Space Hopper Cricket, while the older members were becoming too stiff to move.

The Silly Army met again on Wednesday evening for more net games, including a lot of Big Ball Tennis and Volleyball.

Despite the red team taking a 3-1 lead at hockey, the yellow team came hurtling back to win 5-4. Sticky Ball was best not talked about from the point of view of the blue team, who were quickly and efficiently hammered by the yellows.

Alex came up with the idea of playing Tag using the whole park space, which was an excellent way of getting some running in, and of getting a stitch for some of the Sillies. We had a Slow Bike Race which Alan and Rich showed their prowess at, and Steph invented a cone picking up game tag game that the yellow team once again won – even when they went a player down.

Captain Pete and his motley crew build a vessel capable of shivering the hardest of timbers.

The Silly Army will be at the beach near Bournemouth Pier this Saturday at 12.30pm, practicing for the Mudeford Raft Race in aid of the RNLI. Come and join us for a drift along the coast, or come and play in the park this Sunday from 1pm. We will be practising for the Space Hopper 100m World Record attempt this Sunday.

Turning on the waterworks for Silly Army summer season

Pete can't resist the amazing waves of the Boscombe Surf Reef. Boy just has to plank surf.

The Silly Army had a busy time last weekend as not only did we play our regular Sunday games in the park, we also launched the Good Ship Monkey Trumpet in preparation for the Mudeford raft race.

Early Saturday afternoon saw a pair of planks (Pete and K) turn up at Boscombe Pier with a car full of barrels, planks and rope to construct our raft for the first session of raft practice. The rest of the team were arriving later, leaving this pair to get tied in knots, but they soon proved there’s at least once brain cell between them as they quickly assembled a raft (albeit after initially forgetting to attach the barrels). Pete did all the hard work and was soon drawing a crowd of admirers for his handy raftsmanship.

Dave and Helen joined soon after and we had a semblance of a team. However, it quickly became apparent that our Glorious Leader might have ‘mis-underestimated’ his team as Helen and K struggled with Lesson 1: Getting on the raft.

Eventually, after much leaping and bouncing in choppy waters, and the construction of a stirrup mounting system, the whole team successfully mounted, Lex arriving just in time to join in. Going forward proved the next problem, and a few more rowing lessons may be needed – although putting Dave at the back to propel the Monkey Trumpet might be a better option…

After much paddling round in circles, falling off and losing a barrel (retrieved) and an oar (sadly no longer with us) we abandoned ship and instead enjoyed a game of American Aqua Football. However, the choppy sees flipped the goals once too often and consigned them to the bin. Hopefully not the last we’ll see of this game.

We attempted some barrel bobbing and plank surfing and learned that one plank on top of another does not a successful mission make. Rafting needs a bit more practice, but we all had an immense time trying. Next week’s lessons will include Staying on the Raft and Going in a Forwards-ish Direction.

This week’s homework is to learn the following knot, the Trucker’s Hitch.

Giles is on the ball for the yellow team.

Sunday saw a lower than average turnout due to holidays and the lure of the beach. We brought the trampettes and Pete, K and Mimi soon invented a new game, which involved nailing down a net-covered dodgeball at the centre of a trampette circle. The aim is to bounce the ball off the trampettes or the dodgeball so your opposing team can’t catch it. Thanks to its shape and inflation, the dodgeball puts an interesting spin on the ball and catches your opponents out, and everyone agreed this was a good game.

Giles and K experimented with a trampette chase game, although they both found that the trampettes get rather slippy when you run on them.

Next we played giant football, although the wind soon put paid to using the giant ball, which rolled half way to Ringwood when caught in the breeze. A girls v boys penalty dispute broke out, and we switched the ball for the volleyball at half time. To keep things interesting, if you kicked the ball off the pitch you went off and couldn’t come back on until an opposition player did the same. This resulted in Karl being a one-man team at one point – and scoring a spectacular goal. The yellow team proved better footballers no matter what size their ball.

We played hockey and again the increasingly strong wind was a major factor. Some great goalkeeping helped keep the reds in the game and they were the eventual wieners.

Dodgeball saw the construction of a strange ‘house’ shape complete with en-suite bathroom. Stay in there at your peril, however – as Giles was quick to discover. Karen also utilised the under-used ‘melon eating’ technique to stay in the game a little longer.

It's big. It's Sillly. It's tennis. It's Big Silly Tennis.

Sticky ball was a whitewash, or more accurately a green wash, as the green team took all the points while the blues failed to get their balls in order.

Because of the wind, we decided not to put up the big net, instead going for Big Tennis – which encompasses three tennis courts. With a fairly small selection of players, we found the court had some dead zones (particularly where K was standing…) but played several games, enabling us all to practice our ball control and whacking skills. Karl and Terminator showed particular skill at this game.

Pete made a bag kite to make the most of the windy weather – the wind, of course, promptly died down so he didn’t get to fly it. Awwww…

Please note… There will be NO GAMES IN THE PARK this Sunday because the Silly Army will be entering the Ringwood Pedal Car Grand Prix. Alex, Richard, Pete and Alan will be pedaling their little legs off – come along and support them!

There will be raft practice on Saturday from 12.30pm at Boscombe pier. Come along and help us fall in the sea…

Just whack it! A Terminator serve captured on camera.

We’ll be back in the park from 7pm on Wednesday.

Now for some thank yous… Thanks to Helen and Alan ‘Clarkson’ for getting up and doing two car boot sales over the weekend, raising money for the Silly Army coffers. Thanks to Alan for making a fabulous promotional DVD, and to the amazingly creative Steph for banners, t-shirts and flags. Big thumbs up to Richard, Alan and Pete for constructing the pedal car. Thanks to Dave for handling all the boring paperwork and keeping us all ‘in the loop’. Thanks to Pete for tirelessly lugging all the equipment around and for building the raft.

And thanks to all of you who come and play with us – we hope you enjoy yourselves as much as we do. If you’ve never played with us before, come along and try it this Wednesday night – it’s fun, free, and fabulous!

England 5 Germany 3 in Silly Army World Cup

Engerland!

Germany.

Forget those over-paid flops in South Africa; never mind the debates about technology and disallowed goals. There was only one game that mattered on Sunday afternoon; that was the Silly Army Giant Football World Cup.

Mimi invented the game and came pre-prepared with a bag of papers with England or Germany written on them to ensure entirely random team selection.

Pete Couch on the ball for Engerland.

Kicking off at the same time as that other England-Germany game, the teams limbered up to play football with a giant abs ball bearing the title of a Dead Kennedys song, I Kill Children. No children were harmed during the first half, but the Germans’ spirits were quickly dented as England took the lead. Because of the size of the ball compared with the size of the nets, there were no keepers, meaning both teams had to play defensively.

The Germans equalised, before a neat move by Pete Couch was chipped in by Kayene Rooney to make it 2-1 to England. Germany equalised once more but Emile Stephski made it 3-2 before the break.

After traditional half-time refreshments of tea, lemon cake and chocolate, the ball was switched for a volleyball and keepers were introduced.

Five minutes into the game, Pete Couch was nominated to switch sides and become a German. However, Pete Mertesacker had little luck on the other side, and England had the advantage for most of the game.

C'mon Engerland!

Emile Stephski was on fire while Terminator Schweinsteiger plugged away for Germany and was rewarded with a goal. However, despite being a player down for the majority of this half, England were the better team and won the game 5-3. Stephski was named man of the match and raised the prized World Cup. We’re all expecting our call-ups to the other England squad in the very near future…

Silly Football gave us a real runaround, but for the rest of the afternoon the Silly Army played gentler games as they sweltered in exceptional temperatures. King’s Park was bathed in glorious sunlight and though we set up the pitch for hockey, we quickly decided it was too hot to play it.

After quite a lot of sitting around feeling a little lethargic (Terminator, Helen, Kathy and Pete were feeling the effects of spending a whole day playing at Dubnium the previous day) we played some net games.

Emile Stephski lifts the Silly World Cup for Engerland.

Careful volleyball was up first, similar to careful tennis, you lost a life every time you knocked the ball out. Pete is clearly the lucky charm in this game as his team won both times, despite mixing the sides up. This despite an interesting technique of catching the ball rather than volleying it… Kathy, meanwhile, attributed a slight improvement in technique to imagining the wall was someone who had pissed her off before whacking it (naming no names).

Grunting was a winning technique for Big Tennis. This is a game in which Terminator in particular excels and his team were wieners.

There was just time for a spot of knock-about badminton before the 3pm kick-off of World Cup football.

Big tennis - big balls, high net, lots of grunting.

After football there was more tea, before playing Kubb. Consulting the rules this time, we discovered not just how to spell it but also how it should be played so it didn’t go on forever.

This is a game of strategic and precision tossing, not of monkeys for once but of blocks and sticks of wood. Kathy eliminated her own team by knocking over the team in the first round, but made up for it in the second with some sticks on target.

A few of us were man enough to brave the heat for sticky ball, bibbed players taking on the non-bibbed. However, a three a side game on the hottest day of the year proved too much for the non-bibbed team of Alan, Pete and Kathy, and the bibbed brigade of Steph, Karen and Terminator duly wiped the floor with them.

Playing kubb in the sun.

There was time for some more net games as the Sillies played on into the evening. A great day of silliness was had by all, and it was one that none of us wanted to end.

The Silly Army is a Bournemouth sports club that meets every Sunday and Wednesday in King’s Park. Come along and join us!

Tactics. Deviousness. Tossing monkeys. Another Silly Army Sunday

Happy as two pigs in... What could these two possibly be building?

The Silly Army spent Saturday night on Southbourne beach, playing games, enjoying a barbecue and making some rather interesting sand sculptures. This meant many of the Bournemouth sports and games club members were a little tired come Sunday games, but because we’re all solar powered we were soon rejuvenated by the glorious day that greeted us. There was also some kind of Jehovah’s Witness convention in Dean Court, meaning that instead of ethnic music this week we were treated to hymns as we played.

Things got off to a leisurely start with a game of ‘hunt the cigarettes’ as Dave had lost his. We never found them but rumours that some higher power was smiling on us abounded after Pete discovered a rouge tenner – a nice boost to Silly Army funds.

Members were slow to arrive so we started off with some hula hooping, which Pete has clearly been practising. After we’d all swung our hips for a while, we were joined by Alex, who brought a veritable bag of goodies on his bike.

Alex assumes the position...

Not only did he have a bag of water bombs, he also came armed with a leg catapult (which looks alarmingly like surgical stirrups when put on). Alex and Duncan had soon worked out a game involving firing the water bombs with the catapult; Duncan nobly volunteered to be the target while Alex assumed the somewhat ungainly firing position to shoot bombs at him.

Once the water bombs were spent, Pete, Alex and Duncan spent much time firing missiles and balls of various shapes and sizes – the leg catapult could just prove to be a winner; the position you must assume to use it not so much.

Games proper began with Monkey Toss:Extreme, which it is quickly becoming clear is mostly an excuse to call your friends ‘useless tossers’ should they miss the target.

This is a sneaky game of tactics, deviousness and tossing monkeys, and the more we play it the more strategies are starting to emerge.  Team Dave quickly took an impressive lead as Pete’s team played and lost too many monkeys too soon. But it should never be said this team, including Kathy, Terminator, Alex and Helen, lacks tossers, and thanks to some sneakery Dick Dastardly would be proud of, Team Pete staged a comeback to ensure this was a game that mattered.

Chris and Pete stage a pump off - foot pump v hand pump. Chris had the best pump action.

Hockey was next and was a tough, long game in the heat. The yellow team were dominant for most of the game with the vast majority of action taking place in the red half. A spectacular goal keeping balls-up by Kathy didn’t help the red team’s cause, and while Esther, Pete and Duncan in particular fought a valiant game up front for the reds, the yellows took the game, with Alex and Omar in particular showing great speed and skill and an overall great team effort.

We tried dodgeball in a triangular formation, which proved interesting and over very quickly when double dodge was introduced. A few rounds of standard, circular dodge were also played to keep traditionalists happy.

Sticky ball followed and again the heat seemed to be affecting people’s shooting abilities, as there were several missed goals from usually on-target strikers. Though the teams were quite closely matched, it was the yellows’ day and they were winners.

Sticky ball in progress. The yellows were the wieners this week.

Following tea, we played combi-ball, a game where scores can quickly be reversed. The yellow team got off to a flying start, but the blues staged a spectacular comeback for a closely fought battle. The blue team eventually took the game with a neat single-point side goal courtesy of Ras.

Dave had brought along a new game called Cub, which we played next. This involves throwing sticks at your opposing team’s knights (blocks of wood) and trying to knock them down without hitting the king in the middle.

It may have helped if we had read the rules properly, as we missed a crucial point about moving forwards so the game went on for an hour and a half. However, it was very entertaining and, now we know the rules, is sure to be a Silly Army regular fixture.

Cub is our newest game.

Though it was getting late and we’d packed many of the toys away, we wanted to play on, so we put up the net and played badminton (Helen knows how to play badminton!)

Ras also developed a game of his own using the cub toys like skittles and a volley ball to knock them down then tag people with. The Silly Army always welcomes game suggestions, so if you have any ideas what we can do with our toys please let us know and we’ll try them out!

We also held an EGM to vote on an amendment to the constitution and to vote Kathy on to the committee to handle press, PR and propaganda (more fool her).

The Silly Army meets in King’s Park, Bournemouth, every Sunday from 1pm and Wednesday from 7pm. We love new members so please come and join us, or bring a friend! We’ve got loads of social events and activities planned over the summer, too.

Join the Silly Army and you can do this too.